the mundane life of daniel tan

one more paper

2007-06-14T02:51:00.000+10:00

after the 4th paper today i have one left! looks like the end of the sem is near. going to fly back in 10 days? losing track of time i wrote the wrong date on my exam attendance slip today cause i thought it was thursday and not friday.

after the paper i had a really nice chat with my project mates over chocolate (yes hot chocolate and the waffle i had was terribly delicious). first time in my uni life i have experienced a good working relationship with my entire group, and this really pulled through to the potential friendship outside class and curriculum. well i got to know jimmy since week2 and we've been playing soccer the past few weeks, but today talking to all of them was just different. its like finding something strangely familiar somewhere foreign. i guess that's how friendship is supposed to be.

you know what they call the commentator's curse? that's in football when a commentator makes a conclusion about the game like "if it stays like this man u will win" or "it looks like this game will end scoreless" and the suddenly someone scores. everytime i hear someone say hey looks like we'll be good friends for a very long time or looks like we're really compatible (as friends) in the end NOTHING works out and i'll end up not talking to the person ever again. life's like that eh, the commentator's curse? so i guess you guys should beware about making foregone conclusions like that.

thought i had alot of things to say but guess its mind block now. too many models and theories and processes and pros and cons.

countdown to exams!

2007-05-29T14:03:00.000+10:00

exams are starting in 7 days time! from next tuesday morning. im as unprepared as i was first sem here, when i had a slack attitude. and im planning on catching a match on the weekend before the first week. last year it was collingwood, this time round its the STORM!

storm plays at home against the rabbitohs this saturday. now 2 points off the top after losing the top of the table clash to manly, melbourne has to rebound without kaufusi, crocker and slater! should be pretty exciting if i watch it. night games always have a much better atmosphere than day games.

watched the champions league semifinal, where arrogant milan showed better finishing to exact vengence on liverpool. i can't believe the manner milan players were putting teams like man utd and liverpool down before the match. and i dare say milan was outplayed by liverpool, with pennant running riot down the right. but liverpool had only their finishing to blame, esp gerrard, who should have stepped up on this big occassion. i couldn't believe what pippo said about the freekick, and even more so how a macho athelete could crumble on the floor after taking a hit to waste time so blatantly. i really identify with kewell, that look on his face was priceless.

chelsea have finished off this season rather dissapointingly, considering the talent they recruited in the summer. at the end of a long season, the stars were not the expected signings sheva, ballack or ashley cole but 'dirty tackler' essien, obi mikel and kalou. not to mention the dependent drogba, who must surely take the tag mr dependable from frank lampard, who look exhausted after playing so many full seasons and a world cup. i think he needs a break of 3-4 months without football. he looks devoid of creativity and drive, and at many times duplicates makalele's job by dropping to collect balls from the defence and returning those balls. looking forward to next season, although it is worrying that the african cup of nations will deprive us of our best performers this season. we need to sign a centre back and another backup striker desperately, but the bank account is no longer as accessible as it once was.

playing soccer now at carlton gardens once a week. pretty fun because there are few people so its mostly 3 0n 3 or 4 on 4. lots time for us to get on the ball.

attended MBS info session yest, quite inspiring, but i don't think i can qualify with my limited work experience. that italian from marketing was not helpful at all! idiot. going with kevin to the MAC info session today.

got hit by a bloody indian taxi driver, while stationary at a red light. asshole tried to get away without giving me his driver's licence. piece of shit said no damage, but in the end gave in cause i threathened to report hit and run. took my pen without asking for permission out of my hand. bloody asshole without any manners. taxi drivers! dogs of the earth.

doing OB notes now, really boring! well going home soon for some exciting times. hope weian has done our FA by then so we can print some tees! and hope we have lined up everything to do some photoshoots. have a fun job lined up and lots of food to eat! and father bought mother a bday present - a boxster! hope i get insurance so i can drive it w/o father in the car! need to drive the 308 too, been back twice and haven't driven it once.

ok better get back to some studying now!

update

2007-05-19T14:29:00.000+10:00

haven't been here in a while, though it isn't because my life is smooth sailing! been really tired from completing assignments and doing stuff. well i ain't complaining cos i asked for it!

finish my diploma of financial planning! any one who needs financial planning advice can come ask me! yeah right i'll probably ask u to chuck everything you have on chelsea winning the treble next season.

this sem is coming to an end. in a bit more than a year's time i'll finish undergrad. another item of life completed, ticked off. then i'll decide if i'll continue with possibly a year of postgrad. can't imagine what it'll be like when i have to leave here. this rather roomy city apartment that i have been staying in for less than a year is really home to me. maybe it's because i have to clean up, cook and do everything that i don't do in spore. but it really does have a feeling of home.

i'm so comfortable here i wonder how i'll adapt when i go back. the weather's good, there's lots of sports on foxtel, lots of things to do, types of food to eat. the reason why i don't miss spore when i'm here is i know i'm going back and i'm going to stay there in the end. but i won't be coming back here after postgrad to stay for long, will probably miss it.

anyway hoon, yuwei and mun are coming in july! mega fun man! for 1 week. we'll be going to great ocean road with them, gab, kev & andrea, an & jen and wenjin. its going to be a blast. especially when we grab yuwei after he takes a bath and throw him out of the cottage at night with his wet towel. in the middle of winter! and we're planning a no english day! kevin is trying to polish his chinese desperately. haha. and we're going to have winning tournament. 8 players or more! an's bring his xbox so we can have concurrent matches!

going back in june! 95% will be working in ritz carlton in a chinese resturant kitchen. the head waitress said i'll probably start of doing dim sum. i'm so going to get yelled at, and i don't speak a word of canto! i'm so going to be dead.

end of year will probably get a job at an ad agency, wonder if i'll like the life. and i wanna take some time to go london! but dunno if i can find the time. find dave lun and gang, ollie and galen. too bad nala's not there if not can find him too. and mun will no longer be in england.

spent the morning marninating a rolled pork shoulder and making tomato sauce. k gonna play soccer soon i think i have to wake the guys up!

3(00)

2007-04-25T02:09:00.000+10:00

Three names you go by:
1. dan
2. dani
3. ahtan

Three screen names you have had:
1. astroburner16
2. daniel
3. dan

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. I’m not short
2. I’m not that fat
3. I have nice (questionable) long hair

Three physical things you do not like about yourself:
1. not skinny enough
2. can’t lose my belly
3. er I think I’m quite happy with myself

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Family
2. RI
3. Signals

Three things that scare you:
1. lizards
2. frogs
3. empty wallet

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. food
2. email
3. did I mention food?

Three of your favorite musical artists as of now:
1. jay
2. eminem
3. christina

Three of your favorite songs:
1. iris
2. stairway to heaven
3. I can’t think of a 3rd song but stranded would make it

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. happiness
2. accomodation
3. growth

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. legs
2. attitude
3. look

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. eating
2. watching sports
3. cooking

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. work
2. drive the ferrari
3. start my own resturant

Three careers you are considering/have considered:
1. chef
2. advertiser/marketer
3. fashion designer

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. eastern europe
2. south america
3. taiwan

Three names that you like:
1. alessandro
2. leonardo
3. i dunno... daniel!

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. dive again
2. have kids
3. drive at 240+kmph

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. im completely no nonsense
2. i watch sports around 15+ hours a week
3. i drive with my fingers around the wheel and my thumb on the horn

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I love clothes
2. I want to lose weight
3. there’s always space for dessert (there’s actually always space for anything)

Three celeb crushes:
1. jaymee ong
2. nicole kidman
3. erin mcnaught

Three things you love:
1. food
2. speed
3. winning

People that i would like to see take this quiz:
1. sumin
2. rockercharms/sk8tergirl/mooncake face
3. loke

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

2007-02-14T00:18:00.000+11:00

i don't usually do this, but here's to all the lovers out there who will be celebrating v day.

good luck to all the folks chasing the object of their dreams/desires/whatever. hope you succeed!

and to all the sad lonely hearts, cheer up! it's not too bad being single you know!

and to all the happy singles, ROCK ON!

stop that right now

2007-02-14T00:08:00.000+11:00

this is in no way targeted to anyone.

things i love to hear not. things i love to hear pause not. things i love to hear, pause, pause, NOT!

ok the real title:

things people say that completely turn me off and make me cringe

1. telling me how rich your friends are

2. telling me how cool you think you are

3. telling me how much you care for me, or how much i'm your brother, or how good friends we are, when you behave the other way

4. telling me you know me so well you know what's best for me (even i don't know myself)

5. telling me how cool your new friends think you are (whether that's really the case or not)

6. telling me how cool your new friends are

7. telling me how good you are or think you are when we both know that isn't the case

8. telling me that we'll go out next time when you don't mean it at all

you know what? i don't really care. i care about more important things. like ideas, and funny things. not things you think pads up my impression of you. if im sitting at a coffee/dinner table with you chances are nothing of the above will make me think better of you because i already know you well and such superficial things are of no relevance to our friendship. so if you want to continue talking about all these, well, just GET OUT!

to feed an addict's addiction

2007-02-12T23:55:00.000+11:00

let's say there's this loved one, could be a brother, or a really close friend or relative. you grew up with him, wanted the best for him, and really love him and don't want to see him sad or down. so he's on drugs. could be any addiction but we'll just use drugs. been on drugs for a while. he says its under control, and that he know's what he's doing. he tells you not to worry, trust him.

one day his mother calls you, tells you she suspects something and asks if you could kindly go over to her house. when you're there she tells you her jewellery has been stolen, and she can't contact her son. he wasn't home all week, and the night he comes home there's this theft. what in the world should you do? you feel pissed off, that this guy is fucking up his whole life, letting everybody down. you know where he is. would you take her to him? find him yourself? or let everything go?

presume you go find him, just to make sure nothing's wrong. he's in this really nasty part of town, with all these fellow substance abusers. you find him where he told you'll he'll be, and he's in a heap. alcohol everywhere, more cigarette butts can be seen than empty floor space. you shake him, and get him conscious. you ask him, what the fuck are you doing?

he asks you to help him, and you tell him you'll help him out of all this, this mess he created. then his real request surfaces, he wants another hit. you tell him to relax and get out of here and everything will be ok. but he says he really wants another hit. another hit and he'll quit. if not he'll die. it's obvious he won't die, but psychologically and physiologically his body needs another hit.

what the fuck should you do?

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came back from sydney a week back. just went there to chill and relax. spent so much money on eating. but the food at the fish market was no let down. the sashimi was so good we went back for seconds. the lobster mornay was delicious. and i really love the sydney rock oysters.

had dinner at bondi. it was quite beautiful, watching a 2 hour sunset, eating ribs and wings. we had 4 jugs of beer and they only charged for 2, making it 5 bucks a jug. i drank quite a bit as weian was out of action with heat rash!

earlier in the week had the $10 steak and beer, its super worth it man. wonder why they don't have that here.

jasmine brought me for some damn good jap dinner as well, 3 of us couldn't finish 2 set meals. really big servings! and hot chocolate at balmoral beach, dunno where that is but its damn nice too, the resturant was super posh and cool. went to look around sydney uni as well.

had lunch on the last day at this german beer/sausage place, good food and beer but a bit pricey.

jasmine cooked chicken rice and then sent us to the airport.

i have lost contact with too many friends.

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watched casino and goodfellas recently. bloody good. and i need a smoke.

Break Fast

2007-01-28T22:43:00.000+11:00

Yes i am going to break my alcohol fast next week. In Sydney. Boy will that be fun. I keep watching people drinking happily on the food channel and in movies, man i almost broke down!

Just watched the fed-ex steamroll his way to another title, man when will we have another final as exciting as ivanisevic-rafter at Wimbledon a few years ago? Actually there probably was one but i didn't watch it.

As weian once said, "Yes, I've been a lazy bugger." This blog is a barometer of my life. When I'm bored and sian and emo, the posts keep coming. When I'm busy and occupied, well, too bad. Haha. Poor blog.

Word of advice for all tennis players: don't play tennis in Melbourne on a Saturday! Bought tickets for last sat's Aussie Open and was so excited. Didn't watch a single match cos it rained! Luckily they allowed ticket exchange so we went back the next day and caught some nice matches. But saw my Elena lose! Damn. And the Kirilenko doubles match postponed cause of the rain. Weian caught a snap of her, without her legs! Idiot. Yeah and played tennis yesterday and it rained and was very cold. So no more Saturdays.

Going to Sydney next week. Wonder what i'll do there. Weian told me there will be alot of time so i can finish up my work there. Haha i think i would have to do it cos of necessity, not of choice. Trying to rush my 2nd assignment now, but im a bit flat on gas. Bringing alot of money, because i may not have the chance ever to go there again. Should i catch the opera?

Read on wikipedia (how reliable is it man) that Nic Tse and Cecilia Cheung got married in Jan. Damn! Well but good on ya mate! Good job!

Went to mornington beach a few weekends ago. Got burnt but it was fun. Experiencing the real Aussie summer. Not in classrooms and at home surfing the net for countless hours. Played with Jen's dog haha so fun! When weian, jen and i ate icecream from the supermarket it was so good because we were so dehydrated.

This year will be over in a breeze. Seems like yesterday i was in Singapore cooking up a couple of dinners, getting so high at holland V, working and catching up with friends. Hopefully all those who expressed interest in coming will be coming. Kevin will be a new addition to my room, so that means living here will be much cheaper, and more fun! We better still be able to study. Might be my last full year in Australia, if i decide to go back to work and contribute to family and whatever after this basic degree. What's more nala mun and all will be back in S'pore.

OL

2007-01-06T15:41:00.000+11:00

last night someone brought me back out from the darkness. pull up the curtain of night and poured the warm, comforting rays of sunshine on me. someone sat next to me at the table and talked to me. not opposite me arguing with me and offering me alternate explantions, or directing me with orders from the head of the table. next to me. maybe held me hand. put a hand on my shoulder.

i won't deny the last 2 and a half weeks have been very tough. i was lost out there. and before i focus this entry on this good (great) friend i have i must thank a few others who have helped as well. mun and weian were able to understand me, but maybe they were not able to comfort me that well. gab was pretty fun in his reactions, and his disgust for some actions reminded me of where his loyalities were. and that he could be wise at his age.

so my dear blinded fierce loyalty olivia. you did something no one else could do. something all these friends who know me more, spend more time with me, and maybe think they have my interests at heard couldn't do. i am really grateful for this friendship i have with you. even though we don't necessarily talk alot or meet alot.

see what olivia could do, which no one else did, was to understand how i felt completely. she responded in a way i would respond. she made me feel that it was ok to be reacting in the manner i reacted. unlike everyone else, who was in her words 'trying to be politically correct'. she attempt to make me feel guilty for the manner i was reacting. she felt sorry for me, and showed me sympathy. how many other people showed me sympathy.

she gave me her understanding without reservations, and without recommendations. alot of people are reserved in their understanding of my situation, judge me without trying to understand how i can feel this way, and then give me a lecture on how i should behave. ollie said "i truly understand how you feel". no one else said that. (but i know at least the 3 guys above understood without reservation)

after that she made me feel good about myself again. not in the cynical way that huiwen put it that i needed sympathy and an ego boost. you think its so simple? someone who can really understand wouldn't even put what olivia did in such simple words. she reminded me who i was. and what i should be now.

then she told me what to do. not just why i should do it like some robotic JC lecturer everyone else has been. but she drew the whole picture out. and helped me understand. and how could i not take the advice and instruction of someone who completely understood me, and did not blame me for reacting in the way i did?

thanks mate!

of course there were other friends who i went to for consolation and support. some tried to understand, but gave me alot of directions and PC advice. some just lectured and couldn't understand why i was feeling this way or acting this way. some judged me and used some really insensitive phrases without thinking if they were really applicable to the situation. alot tried to give advice. some totally failed with the advice. the same way parents are totally useless forcing a kid to study, because he obviously won't. i am that kid. you can't direct me from the other side of the fence. you have to come over first.

and then there are those who didnt offer anything at all.

learning lessons all the time.

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mun is damn funny, he said: "must wear adidas, impossible is nothing. stop this nike just do it shit. adidas is the way to go."

tickled me. the power of catch phrases.

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went home at 3 on friday morning. was super scared of being killed or something because of mistaken identity. i totally looked like a thai foot soldier, with my hairband hair, chang beer singlet, black jeans and slippers, walking through crown.

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had dinner at jennifer's house last night. cooked chicken curry. miss home food.

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met daniel's colleague at the market today, a local. he said i was a NZer, or at least that i looked polynesian. haha that's a first.

shop keepers speak to me in thai in bangkok. when i bought my mum's com at sitex the salesman thought yuwei and i were from vietnam. i met some guy in spore who asked if i was local. i ask him what he thought i was and he said i looked like a dark korean. (daniel pointed out correctly that there are no dark koreans. just a generalisation)

improvised baked fish!

2007-01-05T13:25:00.000+11:00

last night i cooked baked fish. i couldn't find fresh garlic so i had to use bottled. didn't have white wine so i used chinese cooking wine. oven couldn't on so i used stovetop. but i think it was still a success! haha my favourite dish to cook cos its so difficult to screw up. and the colours are always a crowd pleaser.

and since there was no small snapper i only used one head! fish head meat is so nice. i was fishing around the serving platter for remainding pieces of meat. and helping ppl find meat.

the funniest thing was when i was washing the fish head, i realised it wasn't scaled! completely unscaled! (is that the term, i mean the scales were all still there). so i used my chopper and started scaling it. scales were flying everywhere, and the smell of fish was getting stronger. and then i realised something. in a singlet and shorts, carrying a chopper scaling a fish, all i needed were yellow rubber boots, and i'll be a fishmonger!

annabelle had the decency to comment that i get all my money from my loaded customers who buy fish from me.

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had brekkie with an and jen this morning. had this thing i haven't tried before called spanish eggs. delicious! she brought her dog along, called snow white. poor dog hasn't been out for a while. will bring her to the beach soon!

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got thrashed at MJ last night. cards just didn't come in for me, and i defended all i could, but it was too easy for an and daniel lee. that stupid show gu huo zai keeps making me think if you lose in love you win in gambling. bloody philosophy holds no water. so far i've been losing losing losing on all fronts. and everywhere those that are winning big are not doing to badly in love as well. overachievers.

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today's high is 35 degrees. my ass is getting fried. couldn't take it and started using the fan alr. i need my super strong metallic fan sumin pls bring it for me!

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kevin's and aik's posb mastercard debit cards got into a mix up at zouk and kevin's was cancelled cos another person had it. thus his application for unimelb is still in the balance. pls come! haha im also trying to persuade annabelle to transfer next sem.

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was watching a scene of closer on cable. almost died when i saw them drinking moet! argh! control! lun!

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one very good friend kept telling me in the past: give without expecting anything in return. i try my best, but its really hard to do. i expect a minimum level consideration for my wellbeing and feelings from all my friends for the things i do. is that too much to ask for?

roar of the tiger

2007-01-04T14:07:00.000+11:00

the roar of the tiger is very strong. i keep hearing it calling me. every night. and day. every hour. mmmm. tiger.

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the sun was laughing at me today. she asked me why i looked so glum and sians on a bright day like this. i told her to go away. she said, cheer up, the sun will rise up in your life soon, and the storm will go away. i told her to come back later. i'm stuck in the perfect storm now. where i wanna be.

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is it failure if we can't control the outcome? if it is completely out of our hands? can it be completely out of our hands?

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someone asked me, so daniel, what are your insecurities? and i couldn't answer then. maybe now i can. i HATE failure and i can't stand it when i can't get what i want. that's it then. fearing failure and the inability to acquire what i want.

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cooking fish for daniel michelle weian and jennifer tonight. i only have one giant fish head. wonder if its enough. i'm also wondering what to do with the long weekend. better not waste it when school hasn't started yet.

The Caravan

2007-01-03T12:48:00.000+11:00

a long over due post.

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, presenting..... The Caravan!

tan sumin finally got to perform his own songs at a gig.

i have been blown away by his performances ever since he played blurry at my post prom. but hearing those songs he wrote and sang at home at the club was something... special.

without further ado, pls check out the performances!

originals:
Carousels: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_JMTpLjc4c
Shooting Stars: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dyl8CbpPOI
Angels and Saints: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQYTIBoBUxw&NR

covers:
mr brightside: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMaMLoqPzcI

south melbourne market

2007-01-03T11:25:00.000+11:00

ah how i miss breakfasts and marketing at south melbourne market. so much quieter, and the food is so much better than touristy vic market.

favourite breakfast place was not open today, so had rather ex eggs ben next door. a new food court opened in the market as well so we can have cheap breakfast next time when the stores are open.

all the small, sensible sized fish have dissapeared! my usual 700g red snappers have been replaced by giant min 3kg ones! i was totally shocked when i saw the huge fish. maybe its summer that's why. i asked the woman, where have all the small fish gone to? she said we don't have any! so haolian.

had my morning market indulgence of freshly opened oysters, but only had 2 this time compared to my normal half a dozen.

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had dinner with daniel and michelle at richmond last night, nice spring rolls, vietnamese beef ball soup and hainanese chicken rice at this new place we found last sem.

going with them to see house at collingwood (gabby's magpies) later, and having beef stew at their place for dinner.

think im baking fish tomorrow. the fishes were so big i only bought one giant fish head for the 3 of us. lucky people here dont like fish heads, bought it for only A$6. the fish heads at AMK market were so much more expensive.

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missed the monotony and slackness of life here. too bad NRL and AFL seasons are still 2 months away, if not i'll really be slacking my ass off watching tv. not many nice movies on too, but i can get back my newly acquired DVD collection from weian if i want to.

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can't wait to get cracking on school work. havent studied for so long. haha only 6 weeks actually.

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might be going sydney on 18th jan thereabouts. saving money to blow everything at the fish market. lobster mornay, fresh oysters and sashimi, here i come!

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hoping to get my bike licence before the end of summer sem too, and maybe squeeze in a dive trip.

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heard on radio while driving home just now that blood diamond is coming out tomorrow! must try and catch it. haven't watched a movie in months.

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messaged vasant last night. safe in bangkok. thank God.

longhouse challenge 2006

2007-01-02T16:44:00.000+11:00

1235- first challenger, the bottom seed arrives. calls the other car carrying the 1st and 2nd seeds and the umpire. was shocked when he heard "we're at the prata place". thought the challenge was cancelled.

1245- all participants arrive. 1st seed orders 3 bowls of duck noodles soup. speedy 2nd seed cristiano finishes the duck noodle soup first by sprint drinking his bowl of soup.

1305- 2nd seed orders prawn noodles dry. after commencing attack on the 2nd dish, the 1st seed complains of unfair play. accuses 2nd seed of putting extra chilli to put him off. 1st seed carries on nonetheless. 2nd seed looks in terrible shape. complains of a bad stomach upset that started 2 days ago, giving him problems now. threathens to quit. all finish the 2nd meal, with the speedy 2nd seed ahead again.

1325- 3rd seed looks around not knowing what to order. decides to go for broke and orders 3 plates of hokkein mee. as the 3rd seed takes his time to eat each piled spoon of noodles, and the 2nd seed eats small portions quickly, 1st seed tucks into his food ferociously. 3rd and 2nd seed decide there is no hope, and cede victory to the 1st seed. 1st seed goes on to finish the entire plate. umpire declares 2nd seed 2nd place.

1340- the competition is over. 2nd seed blames his stomach upset and 3rd seed blames his drinking over the past few days, and regrets not training with soup. winner gracefully admits he may not win had the conditions been different.

winner: koh hoon "ferrari" kiat
runner up: gabriel "cristiano" tan
last place: daniel "try better next time" tan

umpire: kevin "collina" lee

alcohol free january, sun's up!

2007-01-02T16:35:00.000+11:00

took me more than 2 years to hit 100 posts. i find it very hard to blog when im busy, maybe that's why when im all alone down under i have alot of time to blog.

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anyway im declaring daniel's january 2007 alcohol free! part of my grand plan to become sober. i am seriously fearing the withdrawal symptoms that have yet to surface after binging so much at the end of 2006. so don't tempt me to drink!

wonder when i'll turn vegan.

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my year starts today. 01 jan 07 belonged to you, 2006. take it back.

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have 8 hours of school straight on tuesday for the next 5 weeks. hope i dont quit halfway and sneak off for some food. or alot of food.

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i told you to go away last night. and i think you have. for good.

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first walk in the city for a long time. its been a long time melbourne. miss walking that same route to school every other day. the weather is really great! although this is beach weather, not summer school weather! must go to the beach at least a few times this summer, before regretting when freezing my ass off in winter.

application to join club emo

2007-01-01T12:56:00.000+11:00

dear president emonemo,

i am applying to join club emo in writing. i believe i have the necessary qualities and circumstances to be a member and an asset to the club. hope you will consider my application seriously.

it has been quite an emo last 2 weeks, so emo i have drank the most in my life during the last 2 weeks. i hope that i will leave what belongs to 2006 in 2006, but i don't know if it's that easy.

move on? you try it first.

don't think about it? yeah right.

is no really no?

then again, i must ask why? how can you be so sure?

someone once described 2 methods of dealing with things, and used the analogy of a wall. some people try to knock it down, some try to walk away. how can you tell me which is the path i should take? do you know me that well?

this is really sianjie.

hope to receive my membership card in the mail soon.

your eager applicant.

on life, for the countless time

2006-12-24T16:37:00.000+11:00

looking around at all the high achievers in life in my circle of friends and beyond sometimes makes me ask myself what am i doing with my life? am i doing enough? as i see them tick yet another destination of their personalised lonely planet places to see list, i look at the miserable few countries i've been to in the past 3 years. Australia for studies (and visit gab and an twice), malaysia for short weekend getaways three times, bangkok for holiday twice, taiwan for training thrice and brunei for training twice.

my peers enjoy 2 week long trips in vietnam, or ski trips to france, and other holidays to exotic places in the mediterranean or Americas. i, on the other hand, have not had a good long break for maybe 3 and a half years?

after mugging my ass off in JC, i enlisted into army. after early ORD (sacrificing 21 days of leave and 7 days of off, i can't really remember) i flew immediately to start studying. last holiday didnt really do much, just visit ian and sant and hosted them when they came over. this holiday has been work work work, eat eat eat, and for the past 3 nights drink drink drink, for a reason that i may explain if i feel up to it.

so i ask myself, when am i going to go travel, see the world, and have a good time? it was then i realised, that there are many ways of spending time and seeing the world than by travelling.

i don't want to travel. i want to see my friends. i want to be with them as much as i can. and especially one very important guy in my life, who recently has been there for me. i haven't gone out much with him lately and stuff cos im so busy, but im so going to miss him for a month when im back doing summer sem and he's still stoning here. even though this ass sumin didn't go watch trinations with me.

when we get too caught up with ourselves, we actually lose our sense of responsibility and priority in life. we don't deliver what we are obliged to deliver. we make other people do our work. we don't spend time with people we are supposed to spend time with. we make empty promises. then we lose our friends and loved ones, and then how successful can we be then?

lost

2006-12-07T01:20:00.000+11:00

im 21 years old. should it be 21 years old? or 21 years young? why is a kid who has lived for 1 year 1 year old? he should be one year young! this is very confusing. my point is, where should we draw the line between being young and old? or more importantly, what does it mean to be old, and to be young?

the only satifiable answer i can think of is when we are comparing ages. being relatively young or relatively old. but i can't seem to define age in absolute terms.

what led me to this confusing topic, or more concisely, what are you trying to say, daniel tan?

over the past year, and especially the past few months, i have grown into an age and a situation where i feel that i show the most empathy for my fellow man, assume the most responsibility and am the most mature of all people in my life. including the adults in my life.

somehow, i feel that now, at the tender age of 21, i have no one to turn to for advice! u can't turn to adults for advice, because they are experiencing problems worse than i am experiencing. and they are not dealing with them as effectively as i would have dealt with them. they cannot see the obvious solution and deal with the problem. they refuse to see the big picture and are only concerned on their petty differences. and own point of view.

i told gabriel, always be beyond reproach, always be someone who people do not have a reason to dislike, always be the forgiving one. i feel like im behaving too old for my age.

i understand that my action have consequences and repercussions, but i can't make my mother understand that. if you want a reaction from someone, you must do the action that yields that reaction. she cannot understand that even though i've said it like 10 times.

im quite happy that i made a new friend today (notice difference from aquaintance). ruth is doing video form my aunt's company who i am working for, so today we had a meeting, and i sent her home. had a nice talk about life, priorities, decisions, and maybe responsibilites.

i always thought that i could have a senior or mentor to rely on when i have problems. but i realise now my problems are easier to deal with than the problems the adults in my life are facing. and that they are more ill-equipped to deal with problems in life than i am.

will i be like them someday? i hope not. but for now i feel a bit lost. without anyone to turn to for help. but maybe that's the way its supposed to be. that one fine day you have to depend on yourself. not on anyone any longer.

NO SPORT

2006-11-26T21:21:00.000+11:00

it's not that i hate singapore. i love it. of course i love it. this is where i was born and spent more than 20 years of my life. this is where all my friends and family are. this is where so many good memories developed.

but there are some parts of singapore that are disgusting, barbaric and revolting.

and one of them is the love for order, at all cost. sacrificing something that the country pretends to encourage. sport.

gab and me were playing footie, kicking the ball around in the park today. if this were australia, the kids with their parents would run up to us and gab would engage in casual chat with them about which team they support, the game at the weekend or the hottest players in the league now. people of all ages bring their dogs and and let them run free. so many games are being played in one park (soccer, footie, basketball, maybe even rugby).

when we kick stray balls, people don't look vengefully at you. they smile and pass the ball back to you. after all, sport is a way of life.

in this robotic, sim city-esque country, anal old men belonging to committees and councils aim to strangle life out of all children. they do not want us to play sport. stay at home and study til we are all programmed and ready to serve our country.

that asshole old man told us not to kick the ball for fear of breaking the lamp. we did not hit the lamp. we were kicking very lightly and controlled. and my point is even if we kicked the lamp, so what? brazilian players quote the street as their greatest school for soccer. even kids in paris grow up playing soccer in the streets, wherever they can play. but no way jose in brainless, follow the leader and shut the fuck up singapore.

stop playing sport. no sport. it destroys property. i think we should abolish the s-league. its a total waste of time and no one supports it. might as well send the footballers to do office work. helps our country better.

and on a side note. the way people bring their dogs to parks in australia and let them play and run loose brings shame to the manner in which singaporeans complain about other people's dogs.

so why pretend to encourage sport? we should even abolish sport in PE lessons in school. make everyone run circles round the track in step. sing songs in unison.

u call some of them quitters. i totally sympathise with them. forthose people here who are so selfish and want to engineer the perfect neighbourhood or country, not caring for other's needs or interests, go play sim city. or i may join the quitters and say proudly that i am smart and brave to quit this horrendous world with no sentiment and such a deprived way of life.

O-week

2006-11-22T00:56:00.000+11:00

3 days into O-week and i feel like i've accomplished quite a bit.

First 12 hours: ate 2 bowls of bah chor mee (first one with hum), and two half boiled eggs (don't you love the feeling as it goes down your throat). met up with 3 months pregnant yuwei who quit smoking already (yay), hoonie "Village Roadshows" kiat, kevino "liverpool is not going to win yet again", and gab who got stomach upset one day after getting back.

watched soccer with the Lentor Elites (as hoon calls us) or the LSE (lentor street elite, as nala calls us) and had supper.

then the trade flood gates reopened as the Spore-Aust FTA was signed (in movies, what else). as hoon has covered in his blog, we discussed society, generation gaps, economics and bullshit.

sunday: went to church for the first time in spore for 3 years. got myself involved in church camp for the first time in my life. had prawn noodles for lunch. had steamed fish, sambal mussels, sambal kangkong, sweet and sour pork, hot plate black pepper venison, steamed tofu, pepper crab and chilli crab for dinner. discussed some stuff with yuwei at night. oh and i got a job in the afternoon.

monday: report for work, and had some orientation.

tuesday: work again, boon tong kee with alvin for lunch. had buffet for dinner, where i only ate seafood. as my weak stomach is having trouble coping with the amounts of food, i am feeling a gastric pain build up again. i will never learn.

looking to the future: better get a good sleep tonight. going drinking at phuture tmr with aik, kevinodo and bday gal annabelle from melbourne. not to mention going for work too. and staying at aik's room at NUS.

this holiday looks like its going to be a load of fun.

---------------------

to hoon: hey i said RSM, he's much more powerful than a CSM loh, he can be army RSM!

hey kadokawa, school's out! summer's here!

2006-11-17T12:56:00.000+11:00

that has to be the most nonsensical and happy title ever on my blog. just finished my paper and im flying back tmr!

ah hard gay tan sumin torres is really upping the tempo man. he damn haolian man. eat so much hawker food still must rub it in my face i really cannot tahan! argh. nvm tmr i go back MY TURN!

tell the uncle hor, prepare one big bowl of bah chor mee for me tmr night. and 4 half boiled eggs. and 1 kopi and 1 teh. mahai.

tmr night we see how when big eater badass just got his licence hoon comes along too.

hope there's a soccer game on sunday with my army team! later going to call the organiser and ask him.

can go back to hot hot hot weather land where i can sleep in boxers in my aircon room with temp setting 18. not like here so cold past few days.

going out to do some admin, have lunch with my bosnian-german friend Jay and play pool. korean bbq with weian and daniel tonight, then oysters for breakfast tmr, shopping at DFO and off i go! see all you home-mies in spore soon!

im coming home soon!

2006-11-16T21:57:00.000+11:00

despite my attempts at being tough 'i don't need to go home' guy, im really excited at going back to spore again. this feeling is so different to when i was overseas training. maybe its because training frames only lasted 3 weeks at most. or maybe its because when training i had so many friends and here in melbourne i only have 4 close friends. the rest barely count as friends man i see them like 2 times a sem or don't talk to them.

ah gab was kind enough to bestow onto me the title of king when he called the night i will return the return of the king (referring to my eating prowess). he said he has gathered up the troops and is awaiting our assault. i can't wait man for bowls of steaming hot noodles to be placed before my eyes. i can picture it. i will smell the delicious noodles, with pork ball, liver, minced pork and mushrooms in front of me. keeping to tradition i will add hum to my bah chor mee. hopefully after that first bowl i will next attack a bowl of laksa. and maybe have 2 half boiled eggs as well.

im so tired to studying. i gag everytime i see my notes. one more day of exams to go. then i still have another 20+ pages of assignment to do for my diploma. fuck i hate typing and looking at all these alphabets on my screen. but i'll do it after the weekend. can't tahan anymore.

and im going to play fucking hard this holidays. wanna drink? let's go drink. but no driving all take cab. wanna eat? can, but each person minimum 2 servings. must find time to play soccer in spore since i lost all interest in soccer here in melbourne. only retards and ruffians play soccer here. and go ktv.

spent 3 hours of my valuable study time reading comments on elitegal. don't know who gave her the names but this is all so familiar, giving nicknames to the person of the moment. i vaguely (ok i am lying, clearly) remember personalities such as TKGG (the knee guard girl), and it was rumoured someone i knew called himself TKGB.

anyway as the spore blogosphere (new word i learnt today) is happily putting their point of view on the elitegal and her insensitive comments, this leads me to think, are we like that? and if we are, is it our fault?

i think what wsm said was not reflective of our voice as a school and a community. i feel that most people in RJ feel what derek wee feels. the culture in RJ is not dynamic or elite or arrogant as people put it, its downright kiasu. 99.5% (ok i pulled a figure out from my magician's hat) of rafflesians got into the school not cos they are smart, but because they are hardworking. and kiasu. they want to be at the top and they work to get there. i bet that these 99.5% are worried about their future and how much they are going to get paid, whether they will be able to buy a nice car, how long will it take them to pay off their housing loan, etc. maybe not in such concrete terms but that's what they think of.

for those less mature students of my school, they will be thinking of other things like which club should we go this weekend, will this girl go out with me, what haircut shall i have next or do i look cool in this. most of us are not bothered by issues that many bloggers have been discussing. it is far from us. we are thinking of what i can do now for myself. not what other people are thinking. maybe the scene has changed, and the current batch of students are very opinionated and engage in intellectual debate much more than my batch, but i seriously doubt it.

or maybe its now cool to have something to say, and they are just keeping up with the trends. the students are adding to their social status in school by having a blog with kickass opinions. whether they believe in them or not.

for the brightest minds (by academic entry results) in singapore, somethings are beyond our influence and we can't be bothered about them. spending our time doing things that can influence our lives more directly would represent a wiser use of our time.

rafflesians are not as complicated and bigoted as you think we are. we are practical people who do what benefits us most. and that is a failure of society. the standardised product of social engineering. except for elitegal.

all i want in the future is a nice house on holland rd, a maranello 575, 911 turbo, RR vogue, maybe a yatch and a zouk membership. and yeah i wouldn't mind a hot wife. i don't have time thinking of the future of my nation, why should i be doing somebody else's job? especially when they are being paid to do it? moreover i am not the elite, i don't have a scholarship and i won't work for the public service.

i want to be rich enough to retire to a temperate country, raise my livestock and slaughter them. grow my grapes and make wine. grow my vegetables in a nice plot of land. invite my neighbours over when i cook up a feast.

but first i have an exam tmr. and a bloody good feeding when i touch down in spore.

resolutions

2006-11-13T23:09:00.000+11:00

this is the first time i've made any resolutions or decisions about my future this premeditated. i dunno why but i am spurred into being held accountable for not accomplishing these items. maybe its because im so old and feel i havent lived life to the fullest or accomplished enough. anyway here goes. (alot of my aims are food related because i am just a glutton)

by end of this year:
1. have my hair up in braids
2. eat at geylang lorong 35 at a leisurely pace, having beer or martell to go with the seafood
3. eat shark's fins in bangkok (i've wanted to do it everytime i'm there but never get to)
4. learn how to cook laksa, mee siam, popiah and everything else my grandmother cooks
5. start drinking martell neat

by next year:
1. buy seafood off the boat or port
2. get my motorbike licence
3. go offroad in the dessert and beach at least once
4. go dive in australia at least once
5. register company and release first collection
6. learn how to bone a fish
7. go to Sydney (and maybe, just maybe, Tetsuya's)

ok i think that's it. better not be too ambitious lest i fail to accomplish a large number of goals. the best thing i did this year though has to be quiting smoking. and i encourage all who are smoking to consider quiting, and it is a harmful addiction (don't tell me you're not addicted, i won't buy that) that consumes alot of money as well.

120 hours to touchdown.

RI student beats world record for smsing

2006-11-13T17:07:00.000+11:00

which leads me to ask the question, why is this boy so good at smsing? and that leads me to one conclusion...

he is a big buaya! no doubt he has talent, but he must have practiced and trained real hard to be this good, and i don't think guys will return sms after sms, so he must have been practicing with girls. this boy has so much time to train smsing, he must be really smart. and now he even has the world record to use when he buayas!

'hey im e world champ in smsing. won e prize yest @ e comp orged by singtel. wanna go out wif me lata 2 c me in xtion? mayb we cld catch a movie or smthg. gg 4 class now ttyl ;D'

the other reason gab and me came up was he went for buaya tuition and they trained buaya skills there. gab had a point that the tuition was co-ed cos must have hands on practice, and i added that girls have free entry. ladies night all week round. for the tutor to buaya also. good business idea, think it'll work.

anyway i can smell the seat on the airplane alr. after dropping gab off on sat i can wait for my turn to be dropped off on sat! that bugger gab alr ate stingray! and i bet bah chor mee. and he doesn't need to do dishes, clothes, or clean the house. i can wait to go back and be a bum.

oh and drink TIGER BEER!!!

Singaporean decry whinging MPs, call for soul searching

2006-11-10T18:59:00.000+11:00

but unfortunately cannot say much less he be put in jail.

all i have to say is you reap what you sow, and empty vessels make the most noise.

and also that incentives matter, especially when you're talking about things that involved alot of money and life and death.

so you should rethink pushing surgery prices too low when the problem is that some incompetent people are charging too high. how about requiring disclosure of average surgery prices per surgeon and success rates for surgeries? i think patients would like to know how successful those hands cutting them up are. and if you drive surgery prices too low you're going to have a large increase in number of surgeries by the hungry trying to earn more money.

"i think you better have exploratory surgery before it's too late. by the way that costs $5000, and you have to stay in hospital for 2 nights for observation."

wisen up and study the incentives.

fantasy XI (plus substitutes)

2006-11-08T20:29:00.000+11:00

following nala's and gab's fantasy football team, i will also present mine now. take note that these players are those i feel are the best in their positions today, and also fit into this team's style of play.

Goalkeeper: Petr Cech (Chelsea FC / Czech Republic)
Well i can't choose anyone else as my keeper. Cech has a great frame, is never out of position, has agility and reflexes to match his shot stopping. Sometimes with him in goal you can't imagine how the opposition's going to score.

Left Wingback: Juan Pablo Sorin (Hamburger SV / Argentina)
Sorin is a workhorse, running up all the time to support the attack, but you'll never find him absent when the other team is attacking as well. Apart from his superb workrate, he is a natural leader who led the Argentinian team at the 2006 World Cup. He has good passing ability, can cross a ball and is comfortable heading the ball as well. An all round asset to the team.

Centreback: John George Terry (Chelsea FC / England) [Captain]
Club captain at 24 and current England captain at 26, this giant of a leader will walk into any backline today. His fierce dedication can be seen when playing through games limping with injuries, or when filling in as goal keeper and detailing tasks to his team to defend their goal in the dying minutes of injury time against Reading. Terry is strong in the air, chips in with goals, passes the ball well and recently has taken to bringing the ball up when his midfielders are being pressured. Terry's leadership from the back means his teammates can attack and know that there is someone to fall back on in defence.

Centreback: Fabio Cannavaro (Real Madrid / Italy)
This was a extremely hard choice, and the spot i decided last for the first team. There were a few candidates for this spot and i couldn't decide who to play, but Cannavaro just edged out Nesta. What the Italian captain lacks in height he makes up with his commitment and dedication. Cannavaro is a precise tackler, tight marker and great header of the ball despite his height. He is a good passer of the ball as well, and will complement Terry very well.

Right Wingback: Michael Essien (Chelsea FC / Ghana)
To complement the lungs, defensive work and attacking runs of Sorin, i have chosen Essien to fill in as right wingback. Even though he did not have a great season at Chelsea last season and had a reputation for being a dirty player, during the World Cup and in games for his club Chelsea this seaon he has more than proven himself. He is able to play a passing game, run with the ball, cross the ball, and even though his strike rate is not very good you just have to remember the goals he scored while with Olympique Lyonnaise. He tracks back to defend as well, and can play anywhere along the right wing, and in the centre as a defensive or attacking midfield player.

Holding midfielder: Claude Makelele (Chelsea FC / France)
All attacks start from him, and attack by the opposition end at him. His ability to stay just in front of the defence allows Maka to see the game unfold in front of him, and ensures he is always in a position to receive the ball from a teammate under pressure. He is cool in possession of the ball, and knows when to dribble and and when to pass, never passing to a teammate who is closely marked. His passing game allows him to play critical balls through the centre to open teammates, or to switch play to the more open flank. Defensively the cover he provides for the defence is already as famous as his name, with the position sometimes referred to as the Makelele role. He is extremely unselfish, and allows the more creative and attacking minded players full freedom to play their game. Is sometimes called the most sung about unsung hero in football today.

Centre Midfielder: Frank James Lampard Jr. (Chelsea FC / England)
Many claim Lampard is neither tactically gifted nor extremely skillful, and that he isn't a great player. To define greatness is to invite contention, but the mere fact that he played 164 consecutive premiership games in a streak lasting over 4 years. In his first 5 seasons in Chelsea he has played 255 games and scored 66 goals. He also managed to plunder 16 goals in last season's EPL. Lampard is an extremely consistent player who is technically sound and possess great fitness. His ability to pass and run and pass, and create and shoot gives him the keys to the engine room of this team. Together with Maka in his holding role, Lampard will take responsibilty to distribute the ball to the wingers and the forwards.

Left winger: Robson de Souza (Real Madrid / Brazil)
Or Robinho, as he is more commonly known, has made in into this fantasy team as he is blossoming into one of the most dangerous forwards in Europe (or the World for that matter). When he first joined Real he was known for his dribbling and speed. I wasn't impressed when i saw him play because he couldn't use those qualities to good effect. But watching him this season is a different proposition altogether. He is able to ghost past or in between players, using his speed at the right time. And with his control he doesn't lose the ball. He is able to pass and cross, and his first time delivery is extremely accurate (assist for Van Nistelrooy against FC Barcelona at the Santiago Bernabeu). His intelligent movement and positioning will aid this creative team in their possession and wing plays.

Right winger: Francesco Totti (AS Roma / Italy) [Vice-Captain]
Credit is due to the player mentioned after Totti for me playing him out of position. Totti is essentially a forward, but he plays in the trequartista or three quarters role, between the midfield and attack. Some claim that Totti is well passed his sell by date, but he has been consistently proving himself as a goalscorer and creator. He is also an inspirational leader, and a one club man. The dedication and loyalty the Roma captain shows will help with the younger players. Also, his experience and tactical knowledge will allow him to control the flow and pace of the game. Totti and Robinho are free to change flanks during the game to give defenders a big headache.

Attacking Midfield Centre: Wayne Mark Rooney (Manchester United FC / England)
The boy wonder who recently turned 21 has accomplished much more in his tender years than many professionals ever dream off. His delicate ball control, lethal finishing, explosive pace and creative and accurate passing makes him one of the most complete forwards around. Add his determination to win the ball (seen him tackling wingers at the left back position for Man U?) and you have an extemely influential player who is spending his 5th season in the EPL. He has shaken off the immature and hot headed tag he was so famous for, and with his new found qualities led the team out as captain against FC Copenhagen at OT. His partnership with Drogba will work wonders as the little and large.

Centre Forward: Didier Yves Drogba Tebily (Chelsea FC / Cote d'Ivoire)
Drogba is the end of all the attacks and chancess created by Sorin, Essien, Lampard, Robinho, Totti and Rooney. He is the target man where long ball and short passes are laid to, for him to control, hold play, play a clever pass, head, volley, control and shoot or even dummy. He has been criticised for his ball control, but 2 goals he scored recently stand out proving that he does have the touch when needed (against Liverpool FC and FC Barcelona). Last season he put in a display of brilliance in tormenting Liverpool FC at Anfield, in one goal he even back heeled the ball around a defender. Drogba is a senior player who can lead the younger players, and he brings calm and clear headed thinking when the situations turn nasty (pulling John Obi Mikel away from the referee after being sent off). His strength in the air is another asset that the passers in the team will make use off, and like Rooney he chips in when the team needs to defend and win the ball back.

Substitutes:

Goalkeeper: Carlo Cudicini (Chelsea FC / Italy)
It is such a blessing that Chelsea has a second choice keeper who is world class, and was once considered the best keeper in the EPL until Cech was signed. Why i choose Cudicini above other keepers who may be better (but there are few who are better) is that he is comfortable playing second fiddle, he is able to step in and fill the void of a great keeper without pressure, and he has the ability and confidence to come off the bench or fill in for games when the first choice keeper is injured. Needless to say he has great goalkeeping technique as well.

Centreback: Alessandro Nesta (AC Milan / Italy)
Nesta is a very gifted centreback, who will provide able cover for my first team. He is in no way inferior to Terry or Nesta, however i choose Terry for his captaincy and Cannavaro because i thought they would have a better partnership. A solid player all round.

Centreback / Wingback: William Gallas (Arsenal FC / France)
I really didn't want him anywhere near my team because i can't stand the manner in which he left Chelsea. But give credit where its due, his ability to play anywhere across the back line and excel in all positions is a tremendous talent that no one can match in the game today. He has passing, tackling, heading and even attacking abilities.

Defensive Midfielder: Javier Alejandro Mascherano (West Ham United / Argentina)
Mascherano is not playing the best football for West Ham now, but i am sure given time he will regain his form that we saw in the World Cup. His ability to ghost in and win balls before passing them on to Riquelme was vital to Argentina's success (though limited) in the World Cup. He will be an able deputy to Makelele. How Manchester United missed out on him is a mystery i cannot believe happened.

Midfielder / Winger: Ricardo Izecson dos Santos Leite (AC Milan / Brazil)
It is extremely difficult to leave Kaka out of my first 11, and on retrospect he should replace one of my attacking players, but i like the balance of the team as it is now. Kaka is a extremely complete attacking midfielder who can play through the centre or plunder down either flanks. Kaka is a gifted passer of the ball and can finish from 6 yards out as well as scoring from 40 yards out. A truly destructive attacking weapon. He is a extremely humble player and brings a touch of modesty to the side.

Attacking Midfielder: Alessadro Del Piero (Juventus / Italy)
Del Piero has, at many stages of his career, been said to have been not good enough, or his managers favoured other strikers, but he has been at Juventus for 14 years and is their club captain and all time top goal scorer. Del Piero has great technical ability and reading of the game such that he forms great partnerships with all the strike partners (or strikers when he plays a more withdrawn role) he plays with. He has won the top prizes in European club football and national football, and his experience is a great asset for the team. In the last season Capello favoured using Del Piero as a substitute for his ability to come of the bench and influence the result of the game. He has been used in that role for Italy as well. His loyalty to Juventus (nicknamed Mr. Juventus) is a testimony to his character, and he is famous for winning awards for fair play and gentlemanly conduct.

Striker: Eidur Gudjohnsen (FC Barcelona / Iceland)
Gudjohnsen is an extremely intelligence footballer with a great touch as well. He can play as the a sole striker, behind a front man, on either flank or even in midfield, where Chelsea played him before selling him off (which i think is a silly mistake). His passing is superb, and his ball holding abilities makes him someone teammates want to pass to. He is a proven striker as well who will bring goals to this team.

Honourable mention:
Juan Roman Riquelme (Villareal CF / Argentina)
Riquelme is an extremely good passer of the ball, and his reading of the game and control of the situation more than makes up for his well publicised lack of pace. However he misses out on the team here because of his habit of dissapearing in big matches, thus he has not proved himself to be one of the best in this matter.

Manager: Jose Mourinho (Chelsea / Portugal)
Someone who has a dossier on every club and manager, and provides tactical reports for his players to digest, is someone who puts alot of effort into detail and heart into his work. His commitment and dedication is also clear for all to see. He is also well respected by his players.

wild world of sports

2006-11-06T20:45:00.000+11:00

did u see a baby on tv last night? what does a baby do when he can't get what he wants? he throws a tantrum. all i saw standing in front of the away bench at upton park last night was a big fat baby employed as the manager of arsenal football club. you lost, your opponent tries to make things up by shaking your hand, just shake it. you're supposed to be the great manager, brought your team to UCL final, won premierships, famous for your astute buys, and you act like a spoilt brat who didn't get his bottle of milk.

prior to last night's matches i was reading a back issue of fourfourtwo and came across an article that was highlighting the invulnerability of barcelona. they hailed the defence of puyol and marquez, who looked second best when handling the skillful battering ram drogba. zambrotta and thuram do not look to like the stars of today's game, they resemble a fading pair who have grasped one last big paycheck and chance to play in a big league and escape the second tier of italy's domestic league. and with barcelona desperate for some defensive experience this was a marriage of convenience. well barcelona took one point off my beloved chelsea in 2 matches to send me into a euphoric high in the lead up to the spurs match...

...which my boyhood heroes lost! i can't believe how they didn't kill of the game in the first 20 mins with so many good chances. they were hammering balls at the meat shields of spurs defenders, and drogba's scissor kick just missed the post! we are probably the team with the tallest and best headers of the ball you can find around. we're as good as it gets. look at terry, ballack, carvalho (who soccernet described as an absolute beast in the air when we signed him), even essien, we shouldn't be conceding goals like the one dawson scored! speaking of essien, he was the guy marking dawson, and he just stood still and let dawson run free. idiot.

and my dear khalid who i have been praising, is looking rather shaky recently. both goals in the barcelona match can be attributed to him, and the second goal in the weekend was a absolute shocker the way robbie keane (!) made him look like a clumsy school boy. and im not one to discount contributions made by others, so here's to ashley cole, who looks rather slow and tactically unsound when handling wingers. he totally couldn't cope with messi, and lennon ran circles round him last night. er maybe we should have settled for fabregas. or van persie. anyway c'mon chelsea you've got to be consistent. not like arsenal or liverpool who only play well in big matches! you've got to win them all. and personally i would like to see wayne bridge back in the team. and more of joe cole too pls.

since coming to australia i've been watching lots of sports, and found lots of disgraceful incidents in all these sports. my favourite code of football now is rugby league and i've been catching the trinations series. i bet no one watches rugby league. at least no one who reads this blog. but still this is interesting. coming back from injury, big talking and big hitting kangaroos forward willie mason hits pommie stuart fielden with a punch that floors him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeUQPwlrrkk next he goes on with a high tackle using his forearm tucked in front of him and hits sean long on the neck (or face). what disgusting behaviour! he was put on report for both incidences (in the first 10mins of the game) and as of tonight has been banned for a game and fined $5000. these big trash talking blokes should just shut their mouth and play fair! a pity you guys can't see the second incident but to me it looked like outright murder.

another sport that is really violent is the international rules series, where the AFL footie players from australia face off against the gallic football players of ireland. first thing to happen was a aussie footie player attacked a barman. he was sent home but instead jumped planes to amsterdam and has not reported for club training which has started today. that is a disgrace as well.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gFZ9p9L2b4. when will these overgrown children start acting like responsible men and watch their actions. an ambassador for this country in ireland attacks a barman. what good will it do for relations between the countries and sports?

also the match that followed was a horribly violent affair. i can't find any videos yet but i'll put it up when i have. unlike willie mason's incident these guys were squaring off one v one and throwing many punches at each other, with no regard for the game that continued (and australia put away a goal into the net, which scored us 6 points). grow up children.

such excitement in the weekend. and now another anticlimatic week where i have to study and work my ass off if i don't want to be studying during my first week back in spore. have had FM2007 for more than a week now but haven't installed it yet! what discipline. yup for all those in spore who are reading i hope to see you guys soon! pls save some money so u can buy me bowls of noodles and drinks when i get back!

there's no noodles here boys

2006-11-02T23:46:00.000+11:00

a few weeks back gab weian and i went to have breakfast at a cafe near the market in the morning. while we were looking at the menu on the glass window outside the cafe, this local said to us there's no noodles here boys. so i told him yeah there is pasta, and he repeated his line that there's no noodles here boys.

what an uneducated, senile asshole. what a lousy joke.

doesn't he know that so many of us asians who are not in our country are global citizen, and can eat more types of dishes than he has ever seen in his entire life.

i've eaten fish eyes, duck brains, duck's blood, pigs blood rice cake, liver, gizzard, stomach, small and large intestines, asses, raw oysters, raw fish, raw beef, fermented beancurd, and there's something i can can't that you'll throw up smelling: durian!

so take ur noodles and shuff it up ur ass, asshole.

FC barcelona 2 - Chelsea FC 2

2006-11-01T10:26:00.000+11:00

dear FC barcelona,

firstly to ronnie, messi and rijkaard, admit it, you were second best again tonight. ronnie, the football you are producing is terrible, too many joga bonito ads and trick videos have convinced you that flicking and tricking with the ball is the aim of the game. well it's clear that isn't, or we'll be playing soccer tricks face off instead of football. and you don't seem to be able to flick nor trick anymore. i must say the cannibal made no mistakes against you for 2 matches bar the assist you managed to produce for gudjohnsen's goal. looks like you don't have that swagger anymore. world player of the year who?

secondly, for the countless commentators who keep pointing out how badly barcelona are missing eto'o, i thank you for reminding the public that barcelona, unlike chelsea, are over reliant on certain players to perform, and when they don't perform, barcelona can't pull a plan B out. as mourinho said, we can play 4-4-2, 4-5-1, with flat midefields or diamonds, with essien either as an attacking or defensive midfielder; we are totally dependent on one makalele to win our games. with the wealth of back up strikers and attackers that barcelona has, i dont see how they can use eto'o's injury as an excuse. you've got gudjohnsen and saviola upfront, and ronaldinho, messi, giuly, deco, xavi all are attacking midfield options. we have 3 world class keepers too.

thirdly, messi saying that referees should stop divers? its like lucky luciano asking US customs officials to catch drug traffickers. the rolling around of messi, ronaldinho, deco and even some of their defenders at times is painful to watch. yeah drogba and robben should clean up their act too, but at least we're not making ourselves sound like saints ala lionel messi.

even when we're not playing at the top of our game, we still create more chances than you do. out defence is much more organised, our players much more commited and our attacks much more effective than your moscow circus style of play.

and dear joan laporta, i would like to warn you that your club is evolving into a galactico club, and hope you would sit up and take notice before the fate of your greatest rivals befall you.

i hope we meet you again this season, when we have picked up steam, then we will show you what football is about.

your favourite enemy,
chelsea fan

Weekend soccer round up

2006-10-30T14:29:00.000+11:00

Firstly, i must say things are looking bright for chelsea fc (for those ignorant people who still call us chelski, don't you know the suffix -ski is much more related to the polish language than russian?). top of the table with form team man u, and 3 out of 3 wins in the UCL. and we havent even hit any sort of form yet! some interesting things happened this weekend:

1. i sold rooney for the first time this season! dear wayne, do let me know if you're going to score a hat trick in advance, cos no matter how well u play i won't have any points if i don't have you!

2. lampard scored again! ok i know he's actually playing rubbish at the moment. he refuses to run and do creative things such that terry has to dribble 3/4 of the pitch sometimes. but well his shooting is picking up and WATCH OUT BARCELONA!

3. teddy sheringham scored! man he's almost twice my age and he's still able to play in such a physical and fast paced league. and he's still as sharp as ever.

4. stupid cable here didn't show the man utd match! i missed out on their best performance of the season. what were they thinking? this was 1st vs 3rd and you dont broadcast it? mad isn't it.

5. sheva didn't play! zero points for my dear sheva, who didn't tell me he was injured. Boula and krancjar from my fantasy team didn't play either dammit.

and i've been watching quite alot of sports lately (soccer, rugby league, rugby union) and i realised something: soccer referees are really being bullied! they should really change the laws of the game as it is clear the abuse of the referee is not contributing positively to the competitiveness of the sport! look at rugby, the referee is always in control of the match and the players know that when they do something stupid they can get sin binned or put on record. but in soccer the players are acting like spoilt brats and hooligans. the way they argue and protest is getting out of hand.

dialogue with the referee is definately encouraged to find out what you're being penalised or to try to tell him once what you're doing. but not chasing him and shouting at him or the linesman. especially when you're asking for a penalty when you've dived! these images are not good for the game at all!

and how about diving? do you soccer players know the reaction to diving here in Australia after Blatter apologised for the dive Grosso did? the Aussies can't believe people dive in sports! makes all of us soccer fans supporters of cheats and actors. and i'm no hypocrite either. i scold the tv when people like Drogba and Robben dive because its not good for the game! its no good for your team dear arjen, when staying on your feet could mean you scoring more goals you idiot! look at Drogba's form this season after cutting the negativity out from his play. what an improvement.

I fully support the introduction of video refereeing. if there is something the referee can't see, and this is going to impact so much (australia vs. italy anyone? argentina vs. england '86?). if a goal is scored or a penalty awarded, checking with the vidoe referee for 2 minutes won't affect anything but the fairness of the game. i can't believe platini is opposed to the introduction of video technology and in favour of 4 linesmen. 4 linesmen. how absurb is that. maybe you should have 4 referees as well! i bet platini doesn't use a handphone, and thinks the internet is some unproven US military secret. you fool! i hope he doesn't get voted as UEFA president.

ok enough of raving and ranting. back to work, and for this wednesday morning's UCL match, GO CHELSEA!

missing life in green

2006-10-23T11:33:00.000+10:00

its been more than 8 months since i've returned my camp pass and car park label to CCO and since then the only camouflage i've worn is a tshirt from taiwan. but memories of my life in green (and brown and black) keep coming back. its like it was just yesterday that i was in army. and it seems like some time soon i'll wake up in the morning at 730 when i set the alarm at 0700, shower, grab a bite, drive to work at 0750 (early) or maybe 0800. reach work at 0830 (work starts at 0800). have breakfast with bosses and colleagues at 0900 (got scolded once by boss for suggesting breakfast at 0830: so early ah!). lunch out of camp from 1230-1330 at many places. sometimes coffee/chicken wing break at 1630 before leaving camp at 1830 to go home. (there's no other way i can quote time now, am/pm makes no sense to me)

and i really loved the life there. when i was working with my peers and superiors, you could feel team work, comaraderie and espirt de corps. not the shit they try to psycho into your head when you're training, but the kind that makes you want to do things for your mates and bosses, the kind that makes you wanna spend time with them, even in camp.

i don't know how much i can disclose about my experiences and our bad practices and sneaky moves. those are the most interesting and you'll have heard me tell some of them. but i'll keep everything here clean and politically correct, and its enough as even when we were doing the right things (99.999% of the time) we were have alot of fun and there were so many fond and good memories.

maybe i should start at the end. im not sure if i can call it the most fitting end to a NSF life, cos maybe i didnt get any award or the highest performance rating from my boss. on my last day we were conducting an ICT. in the morning my boss asked if i drank wine at home. i asked him why and he said no la nothing just asking. after lunch he actually bought something quite expensive for me, shared with my understudy and new OC. some metal wine kit in a wooden box. that day was tragically hectic and quite fucked up, as i did my clearance in one day on my last day. some people signing were very good friends, some i met once or twice and they wished me best of luck. some were acting like assholes (i hate army scholars, ok not all but most). all because my fucking clerk sat on this for a month, then reported sick so he didn't need to do this on my last day. after telling me he'll help me settle this nicely as a favour. (its your duty, not favour; and he did that because he was in mlm and wanted to sell me something i think).

i digress. anyway i conducted ippt also and was very late for dinner with my family. but as i sat in my office and typed my farewell letters to friends, colleagues and chinablue football club, i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. that i wont be seeing these guys week in week out. wont be going overseas with them anymore, conducting training with them, going for r&r with them and playing soccer every sunday. i sat there for a while. while i was typing my boss left camp and as he said bye i think he could sense my sadness and he said you are ok ah or something like that. to say i could have cried was a understatement to describe my sense of loss.

well all stories have a start and a ending. this story started with a drunk soon to be recruit being shipped to tekong. the first day was quite bad as the sun was so hot and we had to lug our heavy stuff around the camp. BMT was not too bad. i made good friends with the specs and i actually saw my PC overseas in one of my trainings close to ORD and had a chat with him. there were alot of people i already knew in my platoon like mun, jiun haur and guochuan. then there were others i made quite good friends with like matthew goh and issac ho who even though i dont talk to that much now, i really enjoyed the times we had together in camp. and i had quite a nice buddy jefferson who signed on. havent heard from him in a long time. so BMT was basically getting fucked and learning how to work together.

then to OCS. i really wanted to quit. there is no time for anything. there is no room to do any other thing. but luckily there were people like cheek, chieh and dehan who i knew. then i made some damn good friends like dalan, ah phua, edwin, kent. there were 6 of us who went to bangkok together before i went to pro term. in the end when i got used to life there it was really fun. all we discussed were hotel charlies. and when we stood for stand by before booking out galvin and me would discuss the time we meet at zouk. and chieh would always say bu xing. after drinking at zouk for a few hours we would be starving and go newton to eat. i remember once galvin and me went mad (think after field camp) and ordered like $50 of food. stingray, kangkong, mussels, rice, carrot cake, oyster omellette, hokkein mee and satay. there were 4 of us and only 2 madmen eating and eating. of course we couldn't finish all that, but we went down fighting. and we used to drink bottle beers bought from nala's uncle.

then i chose to specialised as a signal officer (people who call us signallers can go fry their unused noddles). i thought a signal officer didn't need to walk and wear camou, how wrong i was going to be. but the training was definately challenging and helped built character. and i had alot of fun and friends there. we studied for 2 wks at a poly as part of our course. one night we went clubbing and i drank a hell lot. woke up in the morning and ate a huge breakfast, and then halfway through one of the classes, i walked out and..... bleaugh.... however the sound of vomitting is spelt. overseas training was tough as there are no weekends, just exercise after exercise after exercise. but after many exercises and phases i finally completed training for about 1 year.

you would think after doing all these things that you are prepared to work as an officer. after 7 day field camps, walking 72 km without proper sleep in 1.5 days carrying average of 35-40kg, going through parade practice (killer seriously). but no. there are so many other things to be learnt.

i like to tell the story of how i got my posting. i think the defining moment was in taiwan where i trained for 2 weeks plus and haven't smoked. i was dying and seeing all the drivers and specs and officers smoking i told my friend i need a smoke. he told me ask my OC or WO i didn't dare. that fucker xiaojian went to ask and when my WO asked who wanted it he said daniel. my WO gave me a dirty look and signalled to follow him. so the 2 of us went out to smoke. 2 minutes later the entire training troops, led by xiaojian and my OC, came out. how fucked was i. haha but i wasnt fucked at all. my OC also offered me cigarettes. and the reason why i got my posting, the only posting back under the same OC, was because i smoked and could drink at least abit (abit by their montrous standards), or so they say.

so posting under my OC, my dream posting. i hated unit life, i didn't want to do ops, i was a lazy fucker. but turns out i could not have learnt more, made more friends, or lived life more under any other posting.

i learnt so much from my team and superiors, like how to talk in their language (KPI, professionalism, end product, processes), focusing on the important things, what problems could be solved by system D(the art of getting things done) and what couldn't. i did minutes, lesson plans, exercise files, ppt presentations, workplans, reports, the list is countless.

there are so many stories i could tell that would illustrate the kinds of people i worked around and loved, but that could fill a book. these are just a few.

once the NS men were having ICT. at around 1630 their alcohol-less happy hour started. my encik started bring out beer for us. by the time i went home at 2030 i had drunk more then 10 beers or stout (alot for my low standards) on an empty stomach. by the 6th beer my car keys were on the table alr. i told my boss sir i cannot drive home. in the end, he drove me home, drove my car home, and picked me up the next day. the moment we reached camp we conducted ippt together.

another time this rather high ranking civilian called my office finding my boss. i told him he wasnt there and i got fucked upside down for something that happened between a few departments. i called my boss and told him sir Mr XXX just fucked me. his reply was straightforward: he fuck you? i haven't fuck him yet ah!

and when i had a problem i could ask people, officers or warrant officers, and they woud reassure me and help me see things in perspective.

as alex ferguson tries to convince man utd players that its them against the world, for us it really was us against the world. we tried to do our job, and everyone would try to make us fail, albeit unintentionally. the customers would demand the impossible to do. our suppliers would offer the impossible to work with. we had to plead, reason, and in most cases complain or seek higher authority just to be able to do our job.

the paper work i had to do was a bore and a chore, but necessary to coordinate and record what was going down. the exciting parts were the training, the outfield. i was always craving for outfield not for the prep work (which was killer) but the experience. driving around the training areas in the west, eating zhi char in training sheds, smoking and drinking iced canned and packet drinks at 2100 or 2200 at night, it was really an experience. and coming back from outfield at 2300, we ordered mcdonalds, ate in the office and then rushed to book out before midnight.

at first i dreaded brunei. 4 days in a hot jungle, if it rains you're wet. climbing mountains, crossing rivers, not fun work. but after i volunteered to bring the cadets up for the last time i would be able to go brunei, i really regretted not going for the first 2. outfield in a jungle for 4 days, guiding trainees is a very rewarding experience. i was responsible for the lives of 20 men. one of my guys collasped near the top of the mountain. even if we called for the chopper we would have to carry him to the top and cut trees. he could not focus his vision. his body was very hot and he could not speak properly. i had to force him to drink water and pocari sweat though he kept vomiting and use ice packs to bring down his body temperature. its this kind of experience that makes me look at things like school work and say that's easy. it might not be easy, but it sure is much easier to overcome than this. and nothing, absolutely nothing can top smoking in a pristine jungle (but keeping your cigarette butt of course). i would give almost anything to go brunei again.

taiwan is a totally different prospect. you get to see the countryside, many towns, try alot of nice food there. taiwan for trainers was like a holiday. look, eat, experience, and yes don't forget to do your job too! im very grateful i managed to go once as a trainee and twice as a trainer. and i bet you have never seen the driver and v com fucking each other while on the road before!

besides spending time in camp i made alot of army friends outside camp, doing something singaporean men love to do, kick a ball. i remember my car was parked at newton waiting for someone i can't remember who when my phone rang. one of my dear enciks called me and invited me to play for a team they were forming in the formation. i wanted to play midfield but he had too many talented midfielders, so i was tried out at defence or striker. i was disastrous in defence so i play striker. haha. i'ver scored around 6 goals in ten plus games, i figure that's not bad a return. and there were many memorable goals haha. everytime i have holidays and go back to play they will have space for me.

many images and memories will remain with me forever. like once i was driving to work at 0805, and my OC called asking if i was in camp. i said no, he told me once i reached camp to pass him some documents in a meeting. i felt so bad as i was supposed to have printed them out for him for this meeting. or the image of him bbqing food for our company at my place during company retreat. there was once my boss declared half day for us to go the the SITEX at expo centre to look at computers. and when i bought FM2006 he installed it as well and the 2 of us were playing it when we were free. i used to play soccer a few times with my boss over the weekend at hougang as well.

i remember what they used to say all the time as well. OC: eh? hor. yes? his facial expressions that went along with those lines are priceless. Boss: i damn stone i got to camp at 630 this morning (after drinking, the time was 0800). yes daniel? (when i called him, dunno what he was doing)

its these kind of things that my OC and boss did that make me want to do things for them. as galen said: we are all cpt XXX's men through and through.

when i started handing over to alvin i knew my days were numbered. (actually i knew that long ago, in july 2006). can u believe it, a guy with 8 months of NSF life to go, actually knowing it would pass quickly. and i was dreading it. i wanted to be locked in this period forever. i wanted to stay with this people forever. but soon enough you realise these are childish dreams and hopes. people started leaving, like my beloved OC. others were due to post out or ORD as well. time waits for no man. people come and go. accept it and move on.

and there were so many other friends i made, like joshua, my understudy alvin, melvin (last 2 were training under me as cadets) and all the other regulars who i shall not name here. i had a very close relationship with my spec wah chuan as well, who is more of a friend than a workmate (and a arsenal fan! i can't believe it).

i went back to camp during winter break this year. saw so many friends i really missed the place. i also missed talking to the spec mess uncle and auntie.

there are some experiences in life that really affect you. this is one of them that affected me. i learnt alot of skills in army life project management, working in a large organisation, dealing with customers and suppliers, and concepts like quality management, learning organisation, SOPs and processes. i haven't covered those here not because they are unimportant, but their importance and impact pales in comparison to the human aspect i've seen and felt in the army. not learning people skills, but seeing what it's like to be a person, and to care for your fellow man, regardless or background and rank.

in green, we are all equal. we work for the common good. we stand up for each other, carry more sometimes, and at other times share your load with others. whether in a battlefield or in the office, there is no i in team. there is no better good than doing good for others, even when it incurs a sacrifice on your part.

as an end note, i want to mention that of the many people i've met in my life who have mentored and influenced me, i want to thank my boss and OC, who have made a larger impact in my life than they can ever imagine. and to all the friends i made in army: thank you all. this journey was incredible and unbelievable, but all good things must come to an end. i was just glad i could be part of yours.

Ronin

2006-10-22T13:23:00.000+10:00

lesson number 1: if there is any doubt, there is no doubt
lesson number 2: i don't remember
lesson number 3: you accept it and move on

lobster sashimi

2006-10-03T00:01:00.000+10:00

just had lobster sashimi when my parents came over. the lobster meat was served on iced in the centre of the dish, flanked by the head and tail of the lobster.

from the beginning when the dish was served the lobster's feelers were moving. however what was really frightening was when in the middle of the dish, the lobster pushed down on the plate with all his legs and the head section rose 45 degrees. my dad pushed it down with his chopsticks. yeah but it was quite freaky.

time and place

2006-09-29T12:58:00.000+10:00

the most important things in the entire world are time and place. without the correct timing and positioning no one can succeed. and with the correct timing and positioning there is no reason why uncapable, unintelligeable and uncharismatic people can achieve things far beyond their capabilities and dues.

simply put, be there at the right time. firstly you have to be there. if you're never there it is useless to be anywhere else at the right time and secondly, you have to get the timing correct. it is something that even idiots can grasp, but it is beautifully complex in practice. to be at the right place at the right time.

this concept of right place at the right time can be applied to such simple circumstances as meeting with friends or friends of friends at casual occasions. if someone wants to sell something off cheaply or even give it away, if you're there when the offer was made, you can close the deal and net yourself a handsome profit. this can even apply to business ventures or job offers.

one concept i first saw and learnt in army was this initially ridiculous but logical technique used by high ranking people called corridor or toilet management, though it is not restricted to corridors and urinals but in the canteen and mess as well. the simple incident meeting your commander triggers off a forgotten task or question in his mind. once he's seen you he remembers it and calls you, asking you to do that task or answer that question. if you didn't see him you'll actually have less work to do! wonder why people hide all day in their bunks or cubicles then. this could be a case of right place right time, or if you're getting the bad end of the deal wrong place wrong time.

hey, but all these chance meetings, chance taskings and chance offers could lead to good friends being made, jobs being offered and money being made. the only condition is you have to be there then.

so is there an art of masterfully appearing when it is most favourable to you? i think that is rather difficult and fortuitous, but people do have ways of tilting that in their favour. manipulating appearances and opinions on a daily basis will help you in being at the right place at the right time.

to a great extent, you can shape what people think of you. but you cannot shape what you are superficially. that's why you can't judge casual acquaintanaces by what you think they are like. you only know what they want you to know. friends, especially good friends of a person are a more accurate evaluator. you can discount almost everything awarded on a basis of interviews (especially scholarships, in singapore. how do you know if that student will be a good and willing public servant in 10 years time by hearing him talk for 30 mins? talk is cheap. you don't, and the argument that an interview is better than nothing holds no water).

so now we know it. fake people can maneuver themselves to shape other's opinions of them. and in this superficial world, if i want you to think i am capable, you'll think i am capable. and then to impress your friends that you know capable people in this world lacking men (or women) who grab the bull by its horns (or balls), you'll mention me. i am at the right place at the right time, without even being there! isn't that ingenious?

all i'm trying to say is that the people who are rich, famous, capable or in high positions are there not because they are good (they could be but that's not the reason). they are there because either they are lucky (right place right time), or that they engineered it! these conniving bastards. it's as simple as that.

so now you know how to be there at the right place at the right time, go forth and conquer the world!

trust in verbal agreement

2006-09-20T22:15:00.000+10:00

when you agree to something, what does the agreement actually entail? like when a friend asks you to do something and you say yes, does yes mean yes unconditionally or does it mean yes with provisions?

it is clear when your boss asks for something and you say yes it usually means a clear yes i'll do it by the specified time and standards. friendship blurs many things, including any agreement. agreements between friends are mostly verbal, and the casualness of this agreement usually decreases the importance placed on such agreements.

moreover one of the pillars in many friendships is tolerance and understanding. this tolerance will result in conflicting expectations between friends in agreements. if one side doesn't uphold the agreement, he feels that his friend should at least show a minimum amount of understanding. however for the friend who is at the end of the unfulfilled agreement, he would feel that as a friend, not upholding a agreement is a breach of trust in the first place.

how complicated can friendship get. all the expressed and unexpressed expectations further complicate this issue of trust. can you trust a friend to do something if you did not tell him that it was expected? is he expected to know? are you right to expect someone to know something that you did not tell him? and are you in the right position to judge what is common sense and what is a reasonable expectation?

and in projects undertaken by friends, is there a minimum degree of commitment and accountability expected? like if we play a soccer match wouldn't you expect all the team members to give their all?

1. let's take this case of 2 13 year old boys in school. one of them bought a men's magazine, and the other one wanted to borrow it (because no one else dared to buy one). so the condition the lender imposed on the borrower is that if anyone finds it the borrower had to say that the magazine was his. the borrower's mum found out and the borrower, fearing the worse, told her that the lender forced him to bring it home. the school was notified, the story verified and the lender's story was confirmed. the lender was punished.

what is wrong with the decisions made by people in this story? what are the wrong signals being given?

lying to get away with things is acceptable
it is not important to uphold clearly expressed terms in a verbal contract
both boys commited almost the same crime, possesion of undesireable materials, but only the lender was punished, and he wasn't even caught in possesion of it
the education system doesn't impart the correct values and morals to young children, by not holding them accountable for their actions and promises

2. a group of students acquired a set of test answers for a test. they were caught. one of the students who was involved in the acquisition ratted out on the supplier and he got off while the rest were punished. when the supplier was changing class in school to the rat's class, the rat was afraid of the ill feeling he had generated and bad mouthed the supplier to everyone. in the end the class realised that the rat was a fraud when they found out the true story.

3. once a group of students held a party in a club. many of those who bought tickets were underaged. police raided the club and all but 2 of the organisers left the scene. there was one organiser who stood foolishly at the club entrance and identified himself to the police as an organiser. he also told them the name of the head and agreed to find him for them. luckily the head escaped.

others are being rewarded for the stupidity of some
friends should have the decency to protect one another

4. a few friends decided to hold a party. one of them was worried about sales and that they were going to lose money, so he kept asking the others to try to get more people to go. one of them told him not to talk to her about the party anymore because she had to study for exams. if they lost money she would not have the money to pay for the loss. in the end thanks to the efforts of one guy they made a decent sum. he split the money up evenly even though the contribution of the others was very minute.

when you go into a business venture, isn't there an understanding that you would do what you can not to let your partners down?
isn't it abit shameful to tell your partner you will not be contributing anymore then taking the money of the profits from other's hard work?

such things are quite complicated at times and awfuly simple at others. it all depends on what you feel a verbal agreement and commitment should entail. and it also depends on what you feel trust among friends should be.

but shouldn't there be a very high level of trust among friends? that is what friendship is about isn't it? reliability and sacrificing yourself, not your friends. in all the above cases a friend is sacrificing another friend. i am saddened that such things can happen.

mid sem break!

2006-09-18T16:34:00.000+10:00

yes the 2 wk long mid sem break has started, meaning at the end of it i'll be 2 wks behind gabby. considering the fact that kevin flies back on the 2nd of october, and i'll only be back at the end of novmeber, what the hell is melbourne uni thinking having such a long break? anyway this wkend was spent slacking in bliss ahead of the 2 week break.

started of friday by having 2 pints of guiness at the elephant and then finished a bottle of red. played soccer on sat against some irritating xialan chinese high boys a yr older and thrashed their ah beng asses.lunch at corretto which i havent eaten at in a very long time. had 5 course set meal at sofitel with daniel lee that lasted 2 hours plus and shared a bottle of white. following that spent 5 hours in the mahogany room watching him gamble. i had around 8 free kilkenny's and he had 6. ended of the night with a free bowl of wanton noodles.

sunday lunch at shark's fin house broke all records. gabby, me, kevin derrick and clarice ate $162 worth at yum cha. added up to 35 plates. considering derrick's late entry and the little amount that clarice ate, gab and me must have eaten around 8 or 9 plates each. kevin's showing was an all time best too. finshed lunch at 3 and couldnt eat dinner. watched liverpool lose to chelsea, and stupid arsenal win at OT. had piping hot pasta bolognese that was very satisfying at 330 before sending kevin and derrick home. what a fun weekend.

zhuge challenge

2006-09-16T16:49:00.000+10:00

i am issuing a challenge to all who think they are big eaters. i have planned a 1 day eating extravaganza to determine who among us is the biggest eater. please feel free to step forward and accept this challenge. it will be held in december 2006. the details are as follows:

The Food Challenge - a portion each of:
1. Yakun egg, bread and coffee/tea set (Thomson Plaza)
2. Duck rice (Longhouse)
3. Prata (Thomson Road)
4. Bah Chor Mee (AMK)
5. AJ ice (AMK Central)
6. Katong Laksa (Katong)
7. Hokkein Mee (Katong)
8. Chicken Rice (Margaret Drive)
9. Pig innard porridge (Tiong Bahru) [whoever doesn't eat pigs innards can eat normal pork porridge]
10. Beef Kway Teow (Geylang)
11. Tau Huay (Geylang)

this should start in the morning at around 9 and end of nicely late at night at around 12? hope we can all pull through and be legends. however i propose whoever gives up is no longer in the competion, but everyone should stay on and try the rest of the food in smaller portions.

France-Soir

2006-09-14T21:02:00.000+10:00

there is a small french resturant on toorak rd called france-soir. a friend's family brought her there, and after perusing the menu on their website, i decided to go there for my birthday dinner. of course, reservations are a must for these resturants.

on reaching the place, i was greeted by a pompous, arrogant waiter, who spoilt the mood totally by his uniquely french hospitality. i started off saying 'i had a reservation under my name for 6 but..' then he checked and said 'yes but.' and i didn't know what he was saying what the fuck was 'yes but' supposed to mean. then he said 'you said but.' and i continued and told him 'but i have 7.' and the pompous un(or over)educated jackass gave me what i would politely describe as a fuck face and walked off. no 'this way sir' or 'please follow me' from this expensive french resturant.

this idiot played little part in the rest of the night as the food took over, but he had one last dirty trick up his sleeve that the serial headbutter zidane would be proud of. the gallic frog asked what water we wanted, still or sparkling. i ordered still. a minute later 4 bottles of evian appeared while the rest of the guests were drinking what looked like home-made still water that was free, compared to my $5 a bottle bottled spring water, fresh from the french alps.

anyway. we made our orders, and the starters came. the oysters were fresh but not fantastic, not as big as when i buy them fresh from the market. the sea perch dumplings were fabulous, and we used the remaining gravy to dip our bread; tasting like lobster bisque. we also had a caesar salad and that was very nice as well. the dressing coated the vegetables lightly but the salad was very tasty.

the mains were not dissapointing as well. the duck breast that i had was tender and the accompanying sauce brought out the flavour of the duck. the rabbit, scotch fillet and rib eye steak was quite good as well.

we had a bottle of white to go with the starters and a red to go with the main. i ended the meal with a creme brulee and a doppio espresso.

verdict: food was good, not great, but the service was a disgrace. may not go back there again. there are many other places that value their guests more than this arrogant eatery.

0-0 draw

2006-09-13T21:09:00.000+10:00

question: how can anyone watch a replay of a 0-0 match? or for that matter, watch a match after the goals have been scored?

it seems that soccer (or football), a sport that evolved from unknown numbers of men kicking an inflated pig's bladder in britain, to a organised team sport of 2 11 a side teams battling on a grass pitch for 90mins, can't stop reinventing itself. today when someone asks me to play soccer, i would ask what surface (court, concrete, astroturf, grass) and even how many a side. you can play 5 a side on grass and 8 a side on court surface. there are no limits, except that you need a ball and 2 goals.

the evolution of soccer is not limited to the birth of new games like futsal and street soccer. a new sport has been born from soccer, a sport played without teams and without goals: freestyle soccer.

i am not a fan of freestyle soccer, though i do admit that the practitioners are without a doubt skillful. the perplexing issue is that many fans of soccer confuse the 2 and believe they are one, and this results in them not applying the correct skills and competencies when playing the team game of soccer.

the emphasis of advertisers on flair and skill has attracted an army of fans who think they love the beautiful game, but in actual fact they only love the skill and control aspect. they don't understand that this beautiful game is much more than that. it is much more than the dribble, the shot, the cross and the trap.

it is about covering a player so his teamate cannot pass the ball to him. it is about working together with your teamates to close down a very skillful opponent. it is about communicating to your teamate in a more forward position, telling him where the danger is and where he should go. it is about covering holes and spaces for your team so that opponents are denied time on the ball. it is about closing down the opposition so that your pressure up field will lift the pressure on your teamates in further back.

it is about organising the team to take positions to cover the entire field, ensuring that every flank is covered when the opponent attacks. it is about shifting as a team, to overload in certain areas on the pitch and for other players to cover the spaces the team has left behind as a result. it is about encouragement and inspiration.

organised soccer is like war or a chess match, you need strategy and tactics. flanking maneuvers, defensive tactics, soak and hit, possesion. freestyle soccer is like watching a circus monkey or a stripper performing.

so back to the question, how is it possible that a 0-0 bore draw can capture my attention? it is because soccer is not about goals, or the scoreline. it is about many other things, like hardwork, cooperation, getting the job done; and the job is not limited to scoring goals.

and players who are too preoccupied with the latest trick and fancy moves should not be playing organised soccer, because organised soccer is much more intellectual and selfless.

watching tricks won't help you play better in organised soccer. watching 0-0 draws will.

accident 3

2006-09-09T17:31:00.000+10:00

today had lunch at richmond eating beef noodles, with some animal blood inside. then had alot of fun playing footie at carlton gardens. while sending weian home, i got hit by a car.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. i need to vent my frustration or tension or whatever the fuck.

dammit another accident. last one cost the guy who hit me 300bucks, the one before that cost me 50 bucks when i hit down a cyclist. i jammed breaks but my 1970s merc with no ABS skidded on the damn wet road. and now i got hit while changing lane to turn but there were 2 turning lanes and the woman was in the turning queue of the leftmost lane! so careless just drove on when she saw me cannot jam break fuck.

lessons on friendship: friendship 101

2006-09-05T03:54:00.000+10:00

after 2 lattes at 12, i can't sleep now (almost 4). while tossing and turning, i had a creative breakthrough. and i decided to blog.

well in my experiences in life so far i must say i have made alot of good friends. on the other hand i've had quite a number of poor friends as well. and some of these idiots dont even know what its like to treat a friend. so if you're reading this and you find that you dont have many good (may i emphasise on the word good) friends, this might apply to you.

lessons in friendship: friendship 101

1. Always offer your help, and mean it.
2. Don't let money get in the way, offer to pay, even if your friend refuses to accept or doesn't offer to pay next time.
3. When you say let's go out soon, mean it. It's no use saying things you don't mean. At first you're friendly and politically correct, but after a while you're just a fake.
4. Your friends are a pillar of support for you in times of need, but not a thing you can keep boasting to in hope of continuous supply of compliments and praises. We are not your ego and self esteem boosters.
5. When you say you're coming, please come, and be on time. Saying yes then not appearing is showing a gross lack of disrespect for the person who invited you.
6. Friendship is like 2 people carrying a box together. If you drop your side down and not put in any effort, the friendship will go nowhere. One man carrying a box by himself while his partner walks behind doesn't constitute a friendship.
7. You reap what you sow, you are what you eat. If you invest in friendships that don't bear fruit, don't expect that the friendships that you did not invest in are obligated to help you. You can choose what you invest in, so invest wisely.

so dear friends, please do not take friendship lightly. if you have never thought of what constitutes a friendship, i hope you can take a few minutes to reflect on the importance and significance of friendship and friends in your life.

friendship enriches all lives, it makes tough times easier, fun times more enjoyable. it gives you moments to remember. but friendship is not spreading butter on as much of the bread as possible; what you get at the end is a thin layer. it is more like building a house, strengthening the foundations, adding wings and storeys.

friendship is not about plain sailing and making each other look and feel good, but when the going gets tough, can you turn to your friends for help? for advice? do they know you well enough to give you advice that will really help you?

and lastly, my patience is running out. i do not need so many friends, since i have so many good ones. my many good friends need not worry, for i love them dearly and my thoughts and beliefs on friendship have been forged by my interactions with them. so dear reader, if you are my friend, please follow the 7 basic rules at least, or soon you may find i have forgotten who you are.

Magic Number

2006-09-04T23:42:00.000+10:00

so now i can rent a car in Australia, open a trading account and watch r21 movies, but tell me, since when has age stopped us from doing the above?

i shall not muse on what life is about. but here's what happened during birthday week:

wednesday: lost in soccer to a mat team, was ambushed when they sang a birthday song during team talk (very clever guys when we lost) and with a birthday cake after the match. had dinner at france-soire along toorak rd. food was fantastic, waiter was a mother fucking french asshole. had oysters, caesar salad and sea perch dumplings for entree, i had duck breast for main. daniel lee had scotch fillet, wei had porterhouse, gab had pepper steak, nicole had duck, brian had rabbit and kevin had rib eye. and had creme brulee for dessert. adjorned to crown and had 5 beers with daniel lee. vision slightly blurred when i slept at wei's place.

thursday: missed first lecture, went for steak with shuen, got suprised with birthday cake at her place with huien eunice and wen.

friday: missed first tutorial that i stayed up til 4 plus to prepare for. which also means missed target. fucked up big time. had dinner with kevin's parents, drank a bit at elephant and wheelbarrow, then play texas for a few hours.

saturday: went red hill for lunch but was booked out so bought a dozen bottles of dessert wine and went to sorrento for splendid lunch. went to mornington beach see the suimmer houses. when i have money im going to buy a house and a few jet skis to ski in the summer. went elephant again but no free guinness as advertised! drank til very high with wei gab kev and nicole tan. then went up and had singing session in gab's room. wei and kev are guinness fans now.

sunday: watched collingwood smack kangaroos, had dinner at la notte's. quiet night to cap off the week.

did he really say that?

2006-08-25T01:26:00.000+10:00

mun: "quite nice to meet nigel chieh n nick chong also"

nick chong!?

mun: "ok anyway i going to bathe and wank over nick chong"

mun! are you ok?

zhuge dan

2006-08-25T00:58:00.000+10:00

hi and welcome to the life of zhuge dan. when zhuge dan is starving at 5 after school, what does he do? off to safeway for some lamb and fries for dinner, chicken for supper, hashbrowns for breakfast and some snacks thrown in for good measure. have the lamb and fries for dinner, prepare the chicken with char siew sauce for supper. eat dinner, find that its not enough and fry more fries. later in the night bake char siew chicken and try to finish it all.

just like one night in singapore, lying on his bed he could not sleep cos of hunger. woke up and found a delicious packet of fried pork skin, non fat, which cheek pointed out and everyone was laughing at a few days ago. finish the whole packet of pork skin non fat, and a bottle of coke.

welcome to the waistline and eating habits of zhuge dan. no wonder he's such a fat ass.

eman lasrever

2006-08-23T02:22:00.000+10:00

lets play eman lasrever. being inspired by our inspiring friends' names, here goes...

the originals: nala nat, xela nahc

now for experimentation:
nat brothers: leinad nat, leirbag nat
vietnamese: hok nooh taik, mil kia, yat iuh num, mil naiew
slovakian: iac iewuy, nivek eel
japanese: nitsuj key
mil brothers: mil aduy, mil ijuy

don't things look different from another perspective? ok im sleepy and dont want to do this anymore. if u want to be included email me or something...

fables

2006-08-22T22:19:00.000+10:00

fable 1 (from ong siong ian)

once upon a time there was a dog with a nice juicy bone in his mouth. on the way to his friend's house he crossed a river and saw a huge bone. despite the strong currents, he decided to plunge in and try to get the other bone. struggling against the current, not only was he unable to get the second bone, he lost the original one as well. he was lucky to escape with his life.

moral 1: don't be greedy

fable 2

one day a family moved into the next house. jonny went over to say hello, and made friends with a boy his age called mike. mike told jonny they were only staying for 3 months. jonny found out that mike was building a race car halfway, and offered to help him, wanting to race in the car. his father told him to build his own as mike was leaving soon, but jonny didn't listen. so for a month both boys spent all their free time building the car. after it was completed jonny and mike took turns racing in the car. it was all they ever wanted to do. then at the end of the 3 months mike left and jonny was left with nothing, despite him helping to build the car.

moral 2: if its not yours from the start and its not going to be yours, then you should have accepted that. no one will feel sorry for your wishful thinking.

fable 3

there was a king who had many clever and loyal ministers. he was frustrated that they kept pointing out his mistakes while advising him. they were very loyal and wanted the best for the king. however, the king was vain and arrogant and did not see things that way. he thought the ministers were undermining his rule, trying to change policies to suit themselves. he changed all of them for ministers that praised him everyday and partied with him. the arrogant king was very happy and assured he had made astute appointments. when war came, the ministers were incompetent at planning the defence of the kingdom, and the king was captured and beheaded.

moral 3: if you do not accept advice from people who are capable and loyal to you but surround yourself with people who say what you want to hear, then you are solely to blame when you cannot rely on those around you.

summary: so dear reader, if you have found yourself in a situation like that before, or maybe you are in a situation like that now, or if you find that you may enter a situation like that in the future, please heed the lessons in these simple fables, and be a man; do the right thing.

action man's one week in melbourne

2006-08-22T00:59:00.000+10:00

nala nat a.k.a. action man just departed melbourne, leaving a city in mourning over the lost of his celebrity and action. touching down on tuesday, his activities left a trail of... ...for lack of better word, action!

after having dinner on tues with driver dan, bodyguard gab and hotel charlie, nala nat a.k.a. man on a mission spent a night with hotel charlie, starting with a EN and guns blazing as he stormed his way to the objective.

next day nala nat a.k.a. gary nalaville managed sant's six to a victory in their group match, making timely substitutions and giving them advice on how to qualify after he left. this was followed by PR on the objective then moving over to a safe house to hide for a night. he went to sleep after a few drinks at the elephant and the wheelbarrow.

thursday was a slow day, nala nat a.k.a. croc man started with breakfast with driver dan, he proceeded with FN throughout the afternoon, and ended with dinner with driver dan again, and a uneventful night yielded some well deserved rest.

friday started off with a bang for nala nat a.k.a. american uni scholar, as a dawn deliberate attack guided tour trip that lasted til dusk was followed by a dinner recess and carried on with a night deliberate attack at a club.

rest time over the weekend for nala nat a.k.a. canoeing hunk as he spent saturday having lunch at max's in red hill vineyard and dinner at sorrento's the baths with driver dan, bodyguard gab and master jedi kevin, and the watched opening day of EPL. sunday started by early encounters with some stranglers, then late tunch (lunch/tea) at dandenongs and dinner at the famed yamagata.

nala nat a.k.a. eat eat eat had a relaxing last day shopping at DFO followed by a nice dinner at stonegrill and sayonara at the airport.

nala nat thanks you for tuning in to "ACTION MAN'S ONE WEEK IN MELBOURNE!" stay tuned for new developments and results of man on a mission.

recce

2006-08-19T11:09:00.000+10:00

i lay still on the ground, camo on my face, and looked through my binoculars. i have been lying here in wait with my partner for the past 12 hours, taking turns to rest and observe. seeing nothing for a good 3 minutes, i motioned to my partner that i was going to take a smoke. i crawled backwards until there was an opening, where getting up wouldn't cause noise and movement in the vegetation, got up and lit my cigarette.

inhaling, then exhaling. you never know when the enemy is going to show up. together with the other 2 members of my team, stationed along this ridgeline 1km down, we were conducting reconnaissance in enemy territory, finding a target for the snipers to engage. however, earlier on in a previous mission they could not engage the target, so we were tasked to find the target for them.

as i crawled back to my position and looked through my binos, i saw it. this was too easy, the convoy was using the main axis for travel! we thought they would have changed route or mission, but now they have appeared in front of us. our job was done. radio back to base and call in the snipers. whether or not their target was in this convoy would depend on intel, but we found the target. MA.

sawadeekup

2006-08-18T15:11:00.000+10:00

today i was walking to school wearing my wales rugby polo tee i bought from thailand. as i walked on russell past the old jail i passed a coach filled with young primary school children. one boy at the back of the bus placed his hands together and bowed his head, greeting me in a traditional thai greeting. i returned the greeting.

so now i really must learn thai. even when i was in bangkok the shopkeepers and airline counter assistants spoke to me in thai. but the only things i can say now are kai hor by thoi, kao pad num, kai jiao poo, pai ngong kup ngu, mai lee chai and hey thamluwerd. have to brush up on my thai and find a hot thai uni chick! (although that may not be very smart as there are associated risks with thai chicks)

Matchday 2

2006-08-16T18:55:00.000+10:00

played against the crappiest team this afternoon and we won 4-1. definately deservedly. so now we must defeat the other 2 teams who are the best and 2nd/3rd best in our group to ensure qualification. gab's friend jaya was quite a revelation grabbing 2 goals. our sweeper scored a goal with a sublime finish after a great team move. gab grabbed the last goal. most importantly, our keeper played well today and i think his confidence is on the upswing! so yes good game but we must now prepare for the next game in 2 weeks time.

on a side note, we had to on aircon in the car today. winter is ending soon! but that means the heat will soon be here to torment us.

Thanks guys

2006-08-15T21:20:00.000+10:00

this is a thank you to xm, mun, justin, jon, hon, huiwen, lunny, dave and gill. i've received the package. you guys really thought i was so thin?! my stomach is sticking out of the tee! ok i will have to lose some fats fast man. cheers!

Food glorious food

2006-08-12T00:51:00.000+10:00

this week we had culinary delights!

monday: stir fried meat balls and bamboo shoots in spicy red curry sauce thai style, thai meat sausage for lunch and chinese herbal chicken for dinner

tuesday: honey mustard beef ball pasta with caesar salad and thai meat sausage salad for dinner

thursday: italian herb and garlic steak, fried capsicum and tomato, french fries for dinner

friday: baked char siew chicken and pan cakes for supper

can't wait for the weekend!

the kill part 2

2006-08-11T21:42:00.000+10:00

i stopped. looking hard at the target, i observed that my blonde target had black hair roots. a decoy! i almost killed the wrong person. i released the trigger and turned off the safety. in a moment of sheer funk i decided to keep the gun. dismantling it and keeping it in the case took 30s, and i proceeded to walk down the stairs to my rendezvous.

something was wrong. i could sense it. if people had a sixth sense mine was trained to detect danger. i could smell it in the air. i walked a further 6 blocks down, and then proceeded to walk slowly to my safehouse, thinking hard about how my organisation made the mistake. how could they not know that the target was not going to show up? or did they know it, and wanted me to take down the decoy? to send a signal that sending a decoy would be condemning him to a death sentence?

did they know that i was going to kill the wrong person? they had an insider that provided reliable information. did he turn against them this time? as the questions were spinning in my head, i approached the block where the safehouse was. the moment i saw my apartment building i knew what had happened. 4 patrol cars were surrounding the entrance and only 2 officers were at the base. i assumed the rest were raiding my apartment.

i was betrayed by my organisation. or by my contact. no one else could do this.

i did not blow the patrol cars up and slay the police, that only happens in movies. i walked off and pondered my next move.

reality has hit me hard. my target did not show up today. i was training hard for this moment. psyching myself up, playing the visuals over and over again. and i almost made the mistake of a wrong kill. now i have to plan the next step. i have to go through my contacts and decide on who i can trust. and i will find my target again. i have never failed in a mission, and i will not fail this time either.

and i will not let those who betray me off. do you watch movies? there is a movie, fulltime killer, where there is a scene, just like this. tok tells fat ice, when the organisation betrays a killer, the killer will pay the organisation back two times more. you haven't? go get a copy!

the kill

2006-08-10T23:37:00.000+10:00

i am bent over my rifle on top of the 40 storey building. with my scope i can see everything that conspires before me below. the driver of the CLS 350 picking his nose. the teenager at the traffic light pulling up his jeans and boxers, then pulling down his jeans again. i can see the smoker flicking off 50cm of ash from his cigarette; the ash dropping to the ground and breaking up. "marlboro" and 3 green stripes. methol lights.

the target is scheduled to pass in 10 mins. the route down is clear, my weapon will be taken care off. i have a 1 min window to fire the shot. this is what i have been training for. this is what i have been playing out mentally over and over again. release the safety and breathe in. centre the target, progressively apply pressure on the trigger... ... click. breathe out slowly, take 2 steps back and drop the rifle on the ground. escape through the fire escape and walk one block down. a yellow taxi with a driver wearing a camo cap. get in and im free.

1 min. i focus on the spot where the target will enter the kill zone. i wait. soon, the target and his entourage enters the kill zone. i take aim, release the safety and breathe in. i centre the target and place my finger on the trigger. i gradually apply pressure. i... ...

the tournament started today...

2006-08-10T00:50:00.000+10:00

Round robin matchday 1 of campus sport men's soccer tournament, wednesday round. we lost 5-3. somehow after the match i didn't feel dissapointed or sad or angry at all, and i am quite suprised with myself. considering our team had many players who haven't played with each other before or in a long while, i shouldn't have chosen an inexperienced and unfamiliar line-up that ended up letting in 3 goals in the first 5 (or was it 10 mins in the first half, of 20 mins). i shouldn't have split gab and weian up, cos when they played together (with me and daryl) in the 2nd half we scored 3 in 5 mins too. and none arose from defensive mistakes, unlike almost all the goals of the opponents.

so what was supposed to be a sure win game ended up as a lost (4-0 in the first half!). and now we have a giant mountain to climb in qualifying (1st and 2nd qualify in a 5 team group), since the last team we are playing is the best team, the previous winner.

anyway despite the defeat i felt that gab played very well, as we observed no step overs and 2 goals. weian played well too and the partnership of gab and weian with their fast and intelligent movement was consoling. i was wrong to have played them apart, neglecting the effects of synergy from those 2.

and we were being spied on! i need to talk to sepp on the issue of oppostion team players attending my team's team talks in the dressing room! the offender even tried to confuse my players by giving nonsensical instructions while the game was going on. what is this world coming too?

anyway for more news and information, pls check out http://sants-six.blogspot.com/ . til next time...

Wasantjib subramaniam riewomit

2006-08-02T09:03:00.000+10:00

when i was studying chinese in school, they used to force us to remember terms, idioms and sayings. one of them springs to mind when i think back on my 1 sem spent in melbourne staying with sant. when i met him, we yi1 jian4 ru2 gu4. meeting for the first time we felt as old friends. it didn't hit me that i wasn't going to be staying with him anymore til the day i left bangkok. i felt quite sad but well, friends don't stay together physically forever, but they still stay as friends.

when i first came to melbourne weian, nick, william and sant were already here. spend alot of time with weian because i didn't know anyone else that well, and having played soccer and drank with nick and william in melbourne last time as well as in spore it was natural for us to hang out. enter sant, who was part of their soccer team (which is now only 40% as big since many ppl left last yr). first few times i met him i played soccer, ate after soccer and watch chelsea barcelona 1st leg. he called me john terry and i returned the favour by calling him thiago motta.

he was staying at his gf's old place and since the housemate was coming back when term started, he was finding a place to move to. by this time gab and kevin have came down already. so i thought might as well offer to share my 2 bedroom apartment with him since i was supposed to be staying alone during the weeks before gab and kevin come down during the weekends. in the end, i had to persuade my parents that he wasn't a criminal, and sant had to convince himself that the cell he moved into wasn't too small for him.

they say all things happen for a reason, and if the only good thing to come out of coming to melbourne to study was me meeting sant, i have no regrets. if he is the only good friend i made here, i have no regrets. it was lucky that personality and interests wise, we had alot in common. we even play the same position in soccer.

i could talk to him all night about everything under the sun (or moon). i would take out work at 10pm and start to do. sant would walk out of his room after talking to his gf at 1030, and we would talk til 4am. wonder why it was so difficult to wake up in the mornings. we would discuss soccer tactics, soccer news, business news, investments, stock markets, business, relationships, life and happiness. we would talk alot about past experiences.

hearing stories about housemate problems and having to learn how to get along, sant was the dream housemate and best friend for those 4 months. add gabriel in and you had the three stooges. grocery shopping at richmond then safeway, eating at huong vung 2/corretto's/sea salt/ying thai 2/boba/chomp chomp/rose garden/YAMAGATA!!!/mcdonald's breakfast at 7am/laksa king, going on road trip, playing soccer countless times on hockey pitch, playing footie in carlton gardens and our favourite activity... ...taitee! anyway i decided to come out with top ten moments with sant... here goes:

10. Buying 15 2L bottles of coke and we could stop laughing at the look of incredulity on the lady's face at the checkout counter
9. Calling me one monday evening to tell me he was going to fly to spore in a few hours for the wk to visit stovani, i was shocked
8. Shutting off the mains while my brother was bathing (he doesn't know this til today, he thought the building blackedout. PUNKED!)
7. Laughing uncontrollably when recounting my brother speaking to the china man in chinese when playing soccer (qiu qiu!, zhai jian)
6. Throwing glutinous rice out of the balcony and the sound when it hit the car could be heard (recorded on video)
5. Being forced to eat 20 tablets by him mum cos of his sore throat, and refusing to eat jumbu and durian because they are 'acidic'
4. Requesting yamagata and we went off in 5mins when it usually takes a wk to plan
3. Aiming every kick (6?) at kit's ass instead of the goal when we tried to let him score in his final day playing soccer
2. Asking me to slow down on great ocean road, winding down the window and puking (riewomit!)
1. Pissing out of the balcony, and a lady said "what's that?" (recorded on video)

sant is full of laughter, talks to me bout everything and is on for alot of things (except going to school), and i'll miss him here in melbourne!

the grampians

2006-07-31T23:21:00.000+10:00

went to the grampians this weekend. set off on sat morning at 9 (because we couldn't wake up at 4). went past ballarat, ararat and reached halls gap in around 3hrs. went to the information centre and i had a nice long chat with the guy there about what was there to do at the grampians and in victoria, while enlightening him on our sad state in spore where we have to fly if we wanted to go anywhere else other than msia. and also, the past summer saw a huge fire engulf an area in the grampians that was, in his words, 'larger than singapore'. i wouldnt disagree when while driving for around 30 mins out of halls gap i saw burnt tree trunks.

went offroad! what excitement! when kevin was driving at 90kmph, suddenly, the front wheels grew a mind of their own and we started swerving. an emergency brake brought the car turning around 90 degrees and we were sliding on sand towards starboard along the dirt track. a cloud of red sand surrounded us while we reacted to this incident. on the way back while derrick was driving this happened another 2 more times, albeit at slower speeds.

proceeded to climb rock scramble and 'through' hollow mountain, and saw aboriginal paintings that were handprints and drawings of emu feet. very dissapointing. had dinner we cooked (quite crap man made some mistakes), watched spy kids and catch me if you can in front of the log fire. nice and warm. and i tried xxxx gold. very nice and smooth. just like frank abagnale jr.

next day drove up mt william! wtf man when we reached the carpark and wanted to walk to the top my ears nearly dropped off. so went to some scenic lookouts (balconies) and when we reached the lookout we saw 5 metres of shrubs downhill and then.... ...fog. a foggy afternoon. it was already 12! went to see mckenzie falls, luckily it was not a dissapointment. saw the falls and walked to the bottom.

stopped at ararat for lunch and bought seafood basket from a guy originating from... ...timor! truly a global world. a timorese selling fish and chips with his family in a rural town in victoria, australia. named his shop george's fish shop. pia-ed back to melbourne and collasped. driving fast in the rain on a unstable 4wd is tiring!

basic theory for pedestrians

2006-07-27T23:52:00.000+10:00

motorists are made to sit for theory tests to ensure they know road rules, but there appears to be a group of people that do not sit for any theory tests but should! pedestrians. pedestrians are truly terrible road users. they always assume they have the right of way. i was driving back into my underground carpark just now. i slowed down as a couple was crossing the top of the ramp down to the carpark, then proceeded to drive off. this idiotic chinese (assume china) girl wanted to cross as i went down the ramp, and stared at me as i went off, as thought she has the right of way. well bitch you sure don't!

im sure many other motorists have encountered, countless times, imbecilic people crossing the road at improper crossing points and taking their own sweet time, ensuring that motorists have to slow down for jay-walkers! if i could i would run those inconsiderate, selfish and moronnic people down.

for all those inconsiderate pedestrians out there, i implore you to use your eyes and brains when crossing road and walking. so what if u are a pedestrian, you surely are not given the right to cross as and when u feel like, impeding the flow of traffic! watch out, you will soon be asked to sit tests, and have your road crossing licence suspended!!

they are saying: "darth daniel, bastard, you are! die, you must!"

2006-07-25T01:03:00.000+10:00

setting up, settling in, moving on

2006-07-24T19:22:00.000+10:00

been back in melbourne since friday morning. just took over weian and daniel's apartment. gabb and i have been moving furniture, unpacking and shopping to spruce it up!

-turned my bedroom into a sleeping room that can accomodate my queen and three mattresses
-filled the kitchen up with food and many other things. feel free to come over for a meal!
-create a study area with tables and bookshelves

you might think i'm crazy that all this excites my, but i'm damn proud and happy that i have space in my house to dedicate as a study area, and that my bedroom has no books inside it. if u saw that pigeon hole i was living in last sem u would understand. and all this is even more fun now i'm officially staying with gabb, and he is also damn excited about furnishing the house. we're having a competion now to see who's study/computer table is better. all that is missing is VASANT!

and i've dropped eng! so i'm a pure commerce student now. yay.

corruption joke

2006-07-19T05:07:00.000+10:00

the foreign minister of country A, visited the foreign minister of richer country B. At B's house, A was suprised that B could stay in such a big house with 2 servants, a BMW 745, porsche 911 turbo and a swimming pool. he asked B how he could afford such a lavish lifestyle on a civil servant's salary.

"you see the roads? you see the bridges? you see the skyscrapers? you see the subway? everything they build, i take 5%."

A returned to his country, and a year later, it was B's turn to visit A. B was stunned to see A's house. He had a servant's quarters, a lamborghini murcielargo, aston martin DB9, and tennis and basketball courts. B asked A how he managed to amass such a fortune.

"you see the roads? you see the bridges? you see the skyscrapers? you see the subway?"

puzzled, B replied: "no, i don't see any."

"well, everything they tried to build, i took 100%."

impossible is nothing: jose +10

2006-07-17T02:04:00.000+10:00

adidas advertisers are really trying to get a point across in this ad. when jose's friend win's the stone paper scissors, the first player he chooses is cisse. goes to show how much they feel impossible is nothing.

or they really have a great sense of humour.

see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hJM1vKdULk&search=adidas%20jose

episode 5

2006-07-17T00:07:00.000+10:00

yoda was crouched in a corner, waiting for his next move. his quick movements have allowed him to penetrate a sector of this castle where no intruder had gone before. he advanced again, then felt a force holding him back. using his own force he broke the hold, did 3 flips in the air, turned around and landed. when he saw the purple lightsaber in front of him he knew what had happened. mace windu, a.k.a. the gorilla holding up the big screen at cine, had crossed over to the dark side. he had to take down his former ally no matter what. he could feel the dark side emanating from MW.

he started sprinting towards MW and at the last minute side-stepped to the right and drew his lightsaber and swung it. MW parried the blow but had to take 2 steps backwards to prevent himself from falling down. upon regaining his posture he had to fend off 5 alternate left and right blows from yoda. MW adpoted a defensive posture and stared at yoda, eyes black with hate from the dark side.

"the emperor sends his regards"

"too bad you will not live to send mine back to him"

yoda rolled on the floor toward MW, stopping before him and landed in a crouching position, thrusting the lightsaber towards MW's torso. MW took a quick step backwards, evading the blow, but his overhanging belly was burnt off. yoda stifled a laugh, took a leap in the air and rained blows over MW's head. MW's training was really put to the test and though he managed to defend himself, he was wearying. panting, he turned to yoda and tried to say something. yoda stepped closer to listen, and all of a sudden MW unleashed force lightning on yoda, but the force was too strong in the old master, and he turned the lightning away, then proceeded to attack MW furiously. MW grew slower and slower as yoda's attacks increased with power. suddenly, MW collasped to the floor. holding his right elbow and realising he only had a stump left for his right arm, he threw a smoke grenade and retreated. yoda, escaping from the fumes, couldn't pursue his opponent.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Hearing the commotion, girlfriend stealer could not take the fear anymore and bolted out of the room. unfortunately, he choose a room in a obscure part of the castle to evade the crown prince, and it happened team alpha, consisting of scribbler, was there. the scribbler confronted the girlfriend stealer, drawing his weapon of choice, the pencil. girlfriend stealer laughed out loud at scribbler.

"don't laugh now jay, i am taking you hostage"

"rubbish scribbler, come take me if you can. you have never been a match for me"

"come now jay, and i won't show the crown prince this tape i took of you and playgirl."

the girlfriend stealer appeared to surrender to scribbler, but when scribbler drew near girlfriend stealer tackled him onto the floor and grabbled him into a hold.

"watch out jay, the rest of team alpha is coming now."

at that moment seven panels of glass broke and seven harleys pulled up into the corridor. eminem stepped of his bike and walked towards girlfriend stealer, motioned to the rest of his crew and walked off. D12 grabbed girlfriend stealer and tied him up in a sack, and all of them rode off, scribbler riding pillion with eminem.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

team bravo's mission was to steal the crown jewels. they knew it was in the crown prince's bedroom as he had been showing them off the playgirl. they radioed ydpa, telling him to activate the operation.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

ydpa stood up in the hall and called out to the crown prince, who just arrived back with his precious playgirl in hand. the crown prince was truly delighted to see an old friend and called everyone to stay and party on through the night.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

egg took the block charge and stuck it to the handle of the door to blow the lock down. he was the weapons expert of the strike team.

when the door fell, team bravo could not believe what they saw. the jewels were thrown all over the bed. the sultan motioned to beehoon to grab the crown, moved out to the corridor to look out. a short while later he gave the signal, and egg ran out of the room and opened a window. beehoon followed and exited the castle from the window first, followed by the sultan and egg. they made their way carefully to the rear end of the castle where jersey was waiting for them. when team bravo and yoda reached all off them climbed over the wall and got into the van, and they radioed ydpa again. veg head drove the van to the gates again, and ydpa got in after leaving the party.

meeting up at a pre-planned RV with D12 and scribbler, the victorious strike team drove off to celebrate their victory.

Chelsea Football Club vs FC Barcelona at the World Cup

2006-06-26T20:33:00.000+10:00

Fairplay:
Halfway through the round of 16, the score for fairplay between CFC and FC Barcelona stands at 0-2. Thanks to dirty play by members of the catalan club, the game with the worst dicsipline at a WC finals took place yesterday, where diver Anderson Deco and late tackler Giovanni van Bronkhorst were sent off.

Goalkeeper:
Petr Cech produced breath-taking displays to redeem his nation against underdogs Ghana. Victor Valdes? Probably watching the WC on his 50cm tv at home.

Captains:
Club captain Terry is England vice-captain, and is now the rock of the English defence. Puyol? He is good but probably not that good. Also, Chelsea new boys Ballack and Shevchenko are captaining their countries into the quarters and second round, while Barcelona signing Gudjohnson is also watching WC at home.

Defenders:
Terry, Carvalho, Gallas, Ferreira, Wayne Bridge and Huth are at the WC (del Horno is injured). Only Puyol and dear Gio flies the flag for the Barca defence.

Midfield:
Robben is starring for Holland, Essien MOM for Ghana against the Czechs, Lampard has played throughout, Cole grabbed a goal and there's still Maka and Ballack. From Barca: Xavi, Ronnie (who has dissapointed), dear Deco, van Bommel and Marquez. Pretty even still.

Attack:
Crespo 3 goals, Maniche (ex Chelsea midfielder) 2, Shevchenko 2, Drogba 1. Marquez 1. Even Craig Moore has scored more goals than World Player of the Year.

So far so good for CFC, but watch this space!

acronym generator

2006-06-17T20:49:00.000+10:00

D	Dramatic
A	Amazing
N	Neglected
I	Intelligent
E	Enjoyable
L	Lovable

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

fuck man im neglected, pls pay some attention to me, shower me with love. thanks.

Daniel OUTTO!!

Vamos, vamos Argentina

2006-06-17T11:19:00.000+10:00

With the football (for soccer for Americans and Australians) fever escalating to a 4 year high, the performance put up by Le Seleccion last night did not dissapoint any. The passing football, slick footwork and constant movement on show was soccer marijuana to me. This, to me, is what football is about. It is about technique, it is about grace and vision in passing, and most of all, it is about teamwork.

Le Seleccion plays football as a team, more than any other team. Players are constantly running off the ball presenting themselves to teamates as outlets to pass to. Players are constantly passing the ball, not trying to take on whole defences (ala Ronaldinho, and failing). And we haven't got to the final balls played; the through balls or crosses that i suspect were laser guided to the striker. On the occasions when a 1 man show took over, Tevez showed why he is the next big thing for Argentina (and maybe for Chelsea?).

This is football at its purest, purer than the showboating team in gold and green. In the movie goal, when Santiago Munez refused to pass the ball and kept up with his dribbling, the coach pulled him aside and show him that no man can run faster than a passed ball. This current Argentina side has demonstrated that they understand this principle very well, and their passing moves opposition players around and takes them out of play, opening gaps in defences. The players are aided in their passing game by their skills, as seen by the backheel assist by Crespo in the 2nd goal and the numerous flicks by Crespo, Riquelme and Sorin.

Which brings me to the trio of Sorin, Saviola and Riquelme. FC Barcelona rejects. Barcelona has been finding a striker of late and bought Gudjohnsen, but i cannot see why Rijkaard has ignore the goal scoring attributes of El Conejo. Saviola has pace, technique and good finishing, combined with determination as seen in the lead up to the 3rd goal, and great off the ball running as positioning as seen in the 2nd goal against Cote d'Ivoire, when he managed to stay onside and then latch on to the through pass.

Imagine Riquelme in Barcelona's midfield now. What a dream midfield it would be (except that it is missing Lampard, Ballack, Makalele, Joe Cole and Robben). Ronaldinho, Deco, Riquelme, Xavi, Giuly. With Messi and Iniesta ready substitutes. How did they let this gem of a player go?

They also let the inspiration and running of Juan Pablo Sorin go, who would fit in seemlessly at left back instead of van Bronkhorst. He would be able to support Puyol in defence as well as support the midfield in attack.

It is my dream to pass like Riquelme, and i will try to emulate Le Seleccion's style of play and the effectiveness of their passing.

TIP OF THE DAY: Argentina to win the World Cup!

Argentina are truly able to win this world cup. However, no team is perfect, and what can be said about this Argentinian team is that they do look gread with the ball and when attacking, but not so good defending and without the ball. The defence is not the best, with Ayala's lack of pace betraying his age, Heinze has just returned from injury and Sorin and Burdisso are not exactly great tacklers. And a heavy responsibility falls on Mascherano to sweep up the attacks in the midfield, as Riquelme, for all his attacking genius, is not going to help out much in that department.

If the defence is able to learn how to weather a storm, and protect fragile 1-0 leads, then they would be able to go all the way. If they don't, then results will hinge on the competency of their opponents to take advantage of this weakness.

A win is a win is a win

2006-06-16T14:40:00.000+10:00

Before yesterday's match between England and T&T, i predicted the result to be a 0-0 tie, drawing from England's lifeless performance in the last round against Paraguay and T&T's solid defending, resolutely repelling the Swedish attack that contained famed strikers Zlatan and Larsson.

England's disjointed play and uninspiring attacks at the Trinidad goal for 84 minutes almost justified my belief that T&T would hold out, but alas, lady luck was with that balding goose, and England pulled through to the next round. They summarised the match that a win is a win.

Is a win a win then? How can we justify playing for a win, when the World Cup is a showcase for talent and genius in the sport? More importantly, should a team be satisfied with their results alone, or should they be concerned over the manner in which the results are achieved? Knowing well that if a team doesn't start playing well in the earlier stages of a tournament like this, they may never hit form in time to overcome rivals at the later stages.

In my opinion, every team must have a realistic assessment of their strengths and weaknesses, and play accordingly, as well as setting goals realistically. When S&M play Argentina tonight, it is very acceptable for them to start off defensively, slowly consolidating play and on occasions relying on quick counter attacks to break down the Argentinian defence. It is unrealistic for them to start of the match attacking a technically superior Argentinian side, when it only takes a pass from Riquelme to set a striker through on goal.

Back to the England game, it is true they have qualified and that takes pressure of them in the Sweden game, but it is their onus now to play good football; not necessarily attractive football but effective football, as is deserving from the talent in the team. With great passers like Lampard, Gerrard and Beckham, and Joe Cole to provide incisive runs, it is unacceptable that the football produced is as dull and uninspired as seen so far. It is true that a win is a win, but now they have to use the next game to ensure that the play produced by the players is enough for them to achieve a respectable final position in this World Cup. A second round knockout at the hands of underdogs Ecuador or the old enemy Germany would be a kick in the teeth to all the England fans overdosed on expectations that this team could be the team to produce the World Cup a second time. (Whether they play with or without Rooney doesn't matter, they are talented enough than to rely on him). A win may be a win now, but playing unproductively and unadventurously may result in losses and exit later on.

Maybe a question to be answered is who or what is more important in football: the talent and skills of the players or the tactical nous and cunning of the managers and captains? There may be no answer to this question.

After some thought, there is a factor that helps us find the answer. When we think of football, we think of 11 men vs 11 men trying to get the ball into the opponent's net more times than the opponent puts the ball in your net. In this case, we have to revert back to the strengths and weaknesses inherent in teams. If a team has a match winner far superior in skill and technique to any player in the opposition, then maybe the coach and the players will style their game to support this genius. On the other hand if the team has no natural flair player, or the better / more experienced players are more defensive minded, then the coach has to work out a system that can serve the team's strengths. In both cases, we must take into account the team's realistic targets and their strengths and weaknesses.

Thus i do not condemn defensive play, rather i find that if my team is playing with solid defensive players, and our strength is in compact defending and supporting, then why should we attack? Attacking will only expose our defence to unneccessary pressure by defending with fewer people.

Reminding me of a competion i once played in. RJC held a beach soccer competion as part of a fun day in sentosa. I was not signed up, but weian was keen on playing and since harry's team was short of players we joined them. Our team consisted of chia joo (keeper), me, harry, weian and daryl. We were the underdogs in every match, and didnt score a single goal in normal play. Due to our great defensive work we didnt concede a single goal either and won every match on penalties.

With our inferior skills when playing against teams made out of all soccer team first choice players, how could we be expected to attack? Thus our game plan was defence, and in each progressive game our defending grew better and more resolute. We were not going to let them shoot or pass and dribble freely. When they shot it was always well saved. We were more comfortable defending in numbers than attacking and risking being countered. Thus by playing to our strengths we were able to overcome all opposition.

To some a win is a win. In some cases the win may be a win now but a loss later. And in other cases a draw is a win, is the only win possible.

Great Ocean Road, Great Otways National Park

2006-06-09T21:19:00.000+10:00

Spent 2 days in Great Ocean Rd and Great Otways Nature Park.

Day 1: Drove from Melbourne to 12 Apostles and back to Lorne from 0700 to 1800, stopping along the way at Lorne, Erskine Falls Apollo Bay, Cape Otway and 12 Apostles, with 5 hrs of sleep the past 2 days and 5 pints of guiness in my stomach the night before. 500km.

Day 2: Drove offroad for 2 hrs, had fish and chips then drove back from Lorne to Melbourne. 150km, 75km offroad.

Picturesque town of Lorne

Sant and me at Erskine Falls

Cape Otway Lighthouse

On top of the lighthouse

Looking down from the lighthouse

12 Apostles

Nice warm bed in Lorne

Offroad driving

Nice puddles

All in all, a great trip.

the one who's mother didnt want to give birth to

2006-05-23T13:00:00.000+10:00

have you ever thought about how your child will look like? or be like? do you wish that your child will be clever, good looking, have a good personality and character and will be a great person? or do you not mind any child at all? i would think most people would prefer the former.

in that case can you imagine what it must have been like for parents who has children that given the choice, they rather have not given birth to them? (phrase borrowed from a friend, coined for someone not such a friend).

if the guy is ugly (i dont mean not good looking, rather revolting), speaks like a big time gangster who thinks he's real smart, however he's only starting uni at age 24 due to his intelligence, and hangs around only with girls 4-5 yrs younger than him. wow what a winner. if you want to make such a friend u could tell me and i could introduce this yeti to you.

i think the world is in short supply of good mirrors. and if u could make a mirror that tells the looker not jest how he thinks he looks in the mirror but how he actually looks, and how he looks like inside of him, then the world will be a beter place! for all you aspiring inventors out there, here's your chance for a patent that could make you rich!

and it makes present buying so much easier.

episode 4

2006-02-05T22:35:00.000+11:00

technoboy was spinning, and the dance floor was going ecstatic at his feet. sweaty bodies moving as one with the beautiful sounds emanating from technoboy's sound system. the crown prince was entertaining the mongoloid and deep sea diver. he was oblivious to the fact that playgirl was missing. after finishing his 20th can of jolly shandy, crown prince was a little tipsy, and the volume of his proclaimations grew louder and louder.

the crown prince moved over to technoboy's technobooth, that was producing his technosound with technobeats. he motioned to technoboy to cut the music. technoboy looked a little peeved of, but who could argue with the prince? silence echoed through the halls of the large castle.

"i have a confession to make on the dance floor. i really dig playgirl and want to marry her. playgirl, please say yes."

applause throughout the crowd was not enough to hide the fact that playgirl was missing. soon people were shouting: playgirl, playgirl, but she was no where to be found. the crown prince then ordered a search party to be formed, but then playgirl appeared from a very dark corridor, her face flush, make up messed up, and she sounded like she was exercising.

"my prince, you were looking for me? i am so apologetic, i was in the washroom."

the crown prince looked relieved that playgirl was alright, and embraced her. he whispered into her ear, and her face lit up and annouced:

"of course i will marry you, my handsome crown prince. but i think it will only be most appropriate when you are king, you majesty."

"yes my dearest playgirl, anything you say."

and they walked off, crown prince in romantic bliss, and playgirl in physical bliss. as they turned the corner, playgirl turned her head and winked at girlfriend stealer. another success for girlfriend stealer.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

the LXG divided into 2 teams, team alpha and team bravo, with the individual strike teams of yoda and ydpa. jersey stayed with veg head in case anyone attacked the D12 van.

the mission of LXG was to do anything that would make the royalty look stupid, and make them know who did it.

ydpa, the biggest and hunkiest of the lot waltzed his way into the party, looking every bit the part of the royalty. with his smooth looks, nimble dance moves and greek sculpture body, he did not look a single hair out of place. he even had a few good friends at the party, namely the rock and hobbit.

yang di pertuan agong, master of disguise and espionage mixed in with the crowd. with a drink in his hand, and great pick up lines in his mind, he set out trying to impress some chicks. in the distance he saw a great silhouette, muscular, well built, he couldnt resist it. as he approach the silhouette, someone shouted:

"AGONG!"

ydpa turned and saw the rock and hobbit. for a second he felt like real royalty. afterall, he was teamates with the crown prince et al. and now he was together with his ole mates, he felt at one with being royal. his blood was blue, he was starting to believe. whatsmore, the chicks started coming to the table he was sitting at with hobbit and the rock.

"hey rock..."

"i'm not the rock anymore man, now people know me as the scorpion king. i am the king of this kingdom."

"and i have a name now, not just the hobbit. they call me frodo."

"so good to see you 2 now, my friends."

~_~_~_~_~_~_~

In the next episode yoda, team alpha and team bravo will storm the palace, so stay tuned!!

episode 3

2006-02-03T02:11:00.000+11:00

the sultan sent his owls far and wide, in an effort to gather a few good men, but to his suprise the response was better than expected. they arranged to meet at the town of Jiak Kim, for a cup or 2 of ice lemon tea, or whatever whoever wanted in his cup, but he should take care of himself in the bath tub.

beehoon was smoking his pipe, picking at his salad, with a sonata playing in the background. suddenly, the wind picked up, the sky turned grey. in a instant, the track turned to eminem, and 7 harleys stormed into the courtyard. after speeding past beehoon many times back and forth, the harleys stopped. 6 of them looked deferentially to the centre man, and he stepped of the bike. beehoon did not feel at ease at first due to the antagonistic approach of this biker gang, but when he saw the height of the leader he was no longer afraid.

the leader took off his chanel helmet and ray bans shades, and with a very dao face, said yo to beehoon. beehoon smiled when he recognised an old friend, and called out to YDPA.

"hey ydpa, white rapper the hottest in humans has arrived!"

soon, beehoon, white rapper, ydpa and the sultan were at the table, drinking and talking about old times. as the songs changed, new people arrived, like the corny egg, yoda, jersey and the scribbler. the mood changed when the sultan turned upon all of them.

"guys, we mean business tonight. this is a good chance for us to showcase our talents, we must find the right opportunity to make the grandest entrace possible."

"with my experience in eigth mile, i think this is the best way to get into the castle and make the biggest bang. what do you think, scribbler? i think you will contribute better to this discussion if you stop writing letters to your many admirers and concentrate on the topic at hand."

"oh. sorry la. anything can you go arrange." and the plan was final.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

technoboy was spinning the music of his life, and the crown prince and his subjects were dancing the disco of theirs. all the royalty were having the time of their lives, and many commented the music was better than the king's ministry of sound. the crown prince generously replied that when he became king, he would appoint technoboy as the minister of sound. when technoboy heard that he was so stunned by the kindness of his majesty that he nearly lost his belly, but on closer inspection it was still present.

as the music played louder, the drinks drunk stiffer, the blood alcohol content thicker, girlfriend stealer made his move on the dance floor and found playgirl. after all these years, he could not resist the temptation of stealing a girlfriend. playgirl was not very high on the bottle, but she could not resist the charm of girlfriend stealer either. his beautiful fringe blowing in the wind, he approached her and they started doing what they did best.

girlfriend stealer started to get pussy as he feared he might get caught by the royal guard, as frolicking around with the crown prince's girlfriend might not make him the most popular idol he wanted to be. he whispered a meeting place into playgirl's ear, and walked off. she would meet him 5 minutes later at his room, and he would knotch another cross on his excuse for an implement.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

as night wore one, the LXG finished their preparations, ready to move off at first light, when the van driver veg head arrived. they made their last arrangements, in case they failed this mission, ate their breakfast and waited in the dark for veg head.

veg head arrived a hour before dawn, and eminem was still eating his burger. ydpa looked furious.

"c'mon emy, you've got to finish that burger! our mission's going to start real soon."

"last burger. give me a while. you guys load up first."

and while the rest of the LXG loaded up the van, eminem loaded up his stomach.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

the ride was long, and ardous, due to the rough terrain of the country and the magnificent driving skills of the former F1 ferrari test driver veg head, and the LXG suffered in the back of the van. they tried to catch whatever sleep they could for this night attack would test the limits of their training.

nearing the objective, veg head stopped the van. the LXG unloaded the van and started their final preparations. they started camouflaging the van with the D12 stickers and posters eminem brought. some started cooking a final good meal, but they were afraid of the voracious appetites of ydpa and of course eminem, and made sure everyone had their equal shares.

when night fell, all of them got into the van, and drove off to the castle. at the entrance, corny egg tried to get entrance by explaining that D12 was scheduled to perform at the party. the guards did not buy the story and they did not know who D12 was. enter eminem. he walked out of the van in his white nike tracks and gold LV air force 1s, complete with $ necklace. the security guards instantly recognised him.

"oh you're eminem! why didn't you say so earlier."

"man these guys don't even know the name of my band. i'm getting the fuck away from these losers."

eminem took his harley out and drove off.

"ok guys, after checking with our supervisor, he allows you to go in and perform, but any trouble you make, we'll be locking you in for a long painful time."

and so the LXG made their way into the castle. there was no chance for them to look back, only for them to create their own destiny, in shadows of the moonlight, and the howl of the wind.

writer's block

2006-02-03T02:04:00.000+11:00

its been more than a yr, and the inspiration to write again hit me when i found myself wholly entertained by the interesting stories i tried to write. but i am hit by a writer's block! maybe later or tmr then.

everybody hurts

2004-11-13T01:04:00.000+11:00

was watching tv just now, and saw REM singing everybody hurts. reminds me of what i've been wanting to blog for a few weeks now.

was out for dinner with aik, dave, dennis, lun, justin and cheek and forgot who else! shit. anyway i havent seen cheek for damn long, and it felt good. he is, in his own words, the kind of guy who needs privacy and even if he doesn't see his friends for a very long time they can still cach up and talk like old pals. i would say i am one of those friends.

anyway he told me he was having relationship problems, and it was really out of the blue, not for me but him. it had been going well for quite a long time, and now this happens. it took everyone to leave, and for him to be left with me, til he told me what happened. its all kinda stupid and f-ed up the way things turned out. no wonder when i saw her at the alicia keys concert she said hi to my friend but not to me. another relationship gone, i hope not.

i think the week before i was having lunch with galvin when goose walked by. i called him but he didnt pick up. he called back and we talked, and he told me that he broke up with peggy. because she was more interested in watching movies and going out while he preferred talking to businessmen. i need go any further.

and just now i smsed kevin, asking him to play soccer tmr night. over our conversation he told me da broke up. i must say i am not overly sad for him, because being selfish means he is free on saturday nights for me. but then what makes a relationship last? he's such a great if not perfect guy, and he has all the wrong qualities as a friend that makes him good as a boyfriend.

no one's making any progress, and everythings falling apart for everyone. michael's single too, lun did a stupid things getting involved. and many others.

love is such an enigma, no man can believe he can grasp it or understand it. it promises much, pleases sometimes, yet fails to deliver and falls short at others. love is ambivalence. love cannot come alone, she is accompanied by hate. love pleasures and love hurts. and yet everyone seeks love, only to be hurt by her.

a common theme in romance movies is to let the heart rule the head. this sounds very romantic and exciting, but more often than not it leads to undesirable consequences. the head, men's rational mind and logical brain more often than not has the answers to love's riddles, yet no one chooses to heed the advice.

and it always fails, even the strongest ones. how girls can give up good relationships with nice and good and goodlooking guys for fakes and ugly fcks amazes me. and guys leave good nice girls for dreams that dont even belong to them. and happy couples suddenly deciding to stop, because they feel it wont work out, or they're too busy.

i seriously hope my friends and one particular family wont continue dwelling on this unfaithful emmotion of love, as we cannot truly grasp it at this stage. and seeing them embroiled in struggles because of this brings me down too, i feel sorry and sad for them. being in love is beautiful, but sometimes we must learn to fall out of love when we are stuck in it too long, or like quicksand she will pull us in and drown us, and we must surely die in her strong and suffocating embrace.

sounds hopeless doesnt it? it sounds hopeless to me. hope i am proven wrong soon.

soccer results

2004-10-29T22:54:00.000+10:00

last weekend was one of the best weekends in soccer viewing i've had. no, i didn't win money, but 2 results over the weekend were enough to fill me with euphoria. firstly, on saturday, chelsea beat blackburn 4-0. sure, it was only blackburn, but chelsea showed alot of promise in many areas. cech was great in goal, the defence showed no weakness at all, in midfield blackburn could not match chelsea in any way, and in attack the clinical finishing of gudjohnsen was a show of how they can score anytime, with just one chance. haha enough of chelsea

and even better was that man utd beat arsenal! horrible, arrogant, lucky arsenal. it was sweeter that ruud scored a penalty. and roy keane didnt even play! arsenal were bullied alright, but they deserved it and needed to be taught a lesson. disgusting arsenal finally lost in the league, and they should continue to lose.

yup even though ferrari didnt win or get second in sao paolo, football more than made me happy.

mess opening ceremony

2004-10-29T22:51:00.000+10:00

i can't believe i typed this on wednesday after the mess opening ceremony:

I have just finished my cadet mess opening ceremony in SOCC. It was a ok experience, with a lot of beer and alcohol, of which I contributed 10 bottles. Apart from mixing srinks the whole night, my platoon mates made me represent them in the games.

In the first game of charades, we lost to the seniors and officers because they cheated! All in an attempt to get us drunk. Because the loser had to drink. We evaded it the first game, but in the second we lost again due to some cheating, and they made us drink! The entire batch!

The day had some great performances by jack and other guys, but the highlight was the seniors trying to make us drink. I knew I was going to go soon because I represented the platoon twice and I drank some by myself, so I pretended to be drunk and pours about 3L of alcohol on the floor, but they kept coming. We should have hidden the drinks because I remember them taking tequila and other alocohols and mixing it in the end, I was thinking whether I would fool them by pretending to spill the drink by being drunk but in the end they gave up, if I remembered correctly.

The state of the platoon is terrible; the officers left when we were drunk, and one guy just puked. Another one is sleeping on the floor waiting to puke, I hope he doesn’t and feel’s alright tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, we have a test at 8 in the morning, I wonder how we’ll end up doing. Before that we have stand by bed at 0730, and I don’t see how we’re going to make the standard at all.

We also have route march tomorrow, and I am looking forward to that because it will mean the end of the week, and there is only one more long lesson after the route march! I will fill my water ba\g with gatorade and hope I will remain vitalised (if such a word exists) through it all.

And now drunk me will try to sleep and recover, so goodnight all you!

f*cking gastric

2004-10-23T00:14:00.000+10:00

thanks to a suprise mission starting at 3am and ending at 8am, i've been having gastric for almost 11 hours already. this is totally terrible man. someone told me now i understand how women feel in labour. yeah man i get a rough idea, even though i know its no where near. i have popped 11 pills over the course of 8 hours and the pain is showing no signs of easing off. i shall have to try to sleep it off or get my injection to cure it. what a way to start a weekend.

transies

2004-10-20T00:30:00.000+10:00

after cutting hair at supercuts, i was going downstair to sasa to buy facial wash and scrub. i saw this group of 4 chicks with short shorts and tanks on the escalator below me. then they started talking, and MAN, did they sound MANLY. #@*&%^$&@*!*@&$*!!!!!!! terri-terri-terrible! ugh! idiots man they spoilt my day and my appetite. i didnt want to look straight at them so looked either 90degrees left or right, and i was so happy when they left. bane to society! demerit good! f*ck!

Ed: the write was exaggerating when he called them chicks for storytelling effects, he more of meant that they looked decently woman.

cars and bicycles.

2004-10-20T00:21:00.000+10:00

haha on sunday after dinner i casually mentioned to my dad i would like to test drive his cars. so he let me drive the merc. it was rather diff to drive man the reverse gear is to the extreme left, and the gear stick doesnt go into the slot easily. and the car is low so i can judge very well. then when i drove the car into the lot, my dad had to move the 911 in, and guess what? i got to drive the 911 as well! hahaha i'm so happy (was). it was damn fun man, but it was very low too so it seemed faster and i cant see the left hand side of the car! but i cant wait to get my licence and tear down the road in these babies.

and i rode bicycle just now. we bought this bike like 6 years ago, but it was (and is) a damn good racing bike so its still in tip top condition. haven't rode in a damn long time so i had alot of fun charging up slopes and down straight roads. but my knee hurts like hell, so my dad gave me these super pain killers. hope they work

2046

2004-10-19T00:21:00.000+10:00

i just watched 2046, and what a beautiful show it was. a multiple layered show that revealed much to me. for those who havent watched it and want to, please do not spoil the show and read this entry after you have had the pleasure of consuming the performance yourself.

one thing that struck me was the part where the lead (tony leung) said something about love. he said it wasn't the right time. in a different time it could have worked out. i can't agree nor disagree, but there is some truth to what he says. if love happens to early, the relationship may not be successful. is youth and immaturity an impediment to a successful relationship? that could very well be true, and an otherwise perfect relationship can break down because of that. on the other hand if one is too late, he might miss the boat. timing is everything? in war, in love? it is in many other areas.

he mentioned christmas, saying it is the time of the year where many need extra warmth, maybe he also meant companionship? for man is a sociable creature, and on special occasions, where people are supposed to celebrate, he will need companionship to be at ease with the world and her unearthly expectations. i feel that the world has shaped our perception of many, if not everything, and this need to celebrate and have friends about you during festivals is a fabrication, it is not natural. but we feel the weight on our self esteem and confidence when we are short of this companionship. maybe i should try this year to spend christmas and new year by myself, or am i supposed to be spending it with God all along? and not men?

then love again. i see him a someone who cannot commit, cannot bend his will to another person, place someone in front of him. he treats women as companions or lovers, but not partners. he always has the upper hand in relationships. but then when he told one of his female companions to find him when she can deal with her past, he mentioned that he could have been saying that to himself, because of a failed relationship with a married lady. could one failed relationship cause him to lose his ability to love again?

there was a lady in the story who got killed by her drummer boyfriend. the lead actor said that maybe it didnt matter to her, as long as she was the leading actress in the story. it is very common for the leads in life to fade after their 15mins of fame is burnt up very quickly, but how bout those who enjoy those 15mins slowly, never surfacing far enough to make an impression, but somehow they're around at the end where the leads have died or faded off. one hit wonders. a trend then, but no longer trendy after a while. is it better to be the lead for a while, or the supporting actor that lasts til the end? or can one be the lead actor and live forever?

the purpose of 2046, is to take the train there, and live in your lost memories. thats what everyone wants to do, isnt it? isn't it great to be able to live your best memories over and over again? then you can have the perfect life chosen from the past. or is that a terrible thing, to never be able to experience more in life than that? time goes on but no matter how much longer it goes on for you cannot experience anything else other than your past? is being able to live out a tough future better than being trapped in a utopian past?

enough for tonight, i'll come back with more next time!

P.S. someone is terribly lazy and hasn't blogged since 19 August. has he moved to the casino? but isnt there a internet connection there?

new formation

2004-10-19T00:12:00.000+10:00

hey i thought of a new formation we can use when u guys come back in dec. i think its so wonderful because its more of a system than a formation, because it employs a different shape in attack and in defence.

in defence it is a standard 5-4-1 with the position of the forward behind the halfway line, thus we have 11 guys in our half defending, with 2 defensive lines. we don't engage them til they come close enough, then we can use numerical superiority to overcome them. the idea is not to engage til engaged, thus saving energy, and letting the unfit last longer

when attacking, the sweeper (centre centre back haha) and the left and right wing back close in to form a 3 man defence, while the left and right centre backs push forward to be defensive midfielders. this is supported in front with 2 central midfielders and 2 wingers, and the striker in front. thus we have strong bone in the centre of the pitch when attacking, and can overload them in centre midfield, then release the swifty australian wingers. we cannot waste their energy.

thus we have numerical strength while defending and attacking, but have the flexibility to switch between the two shapes when required. but i realise its very hard as we will as usual go out with all guns blazing and then get tired real soon. maybe creatine will help.

so gab can either be winger or one of the centre mids assiting the forward. the usual suspects in defense include hoon, michael, nala. midfield would be me, yam, dwong, da. wingers could be yuwei and alex sim and striker kevin. see if we can get others to join us like lennard or kenny.

haha i hope we can win cos we havent done so in a very long while.

the best

2004-10-18T03:31:00.000+10:00

many people ask me why i spend so much money, on clothes, on food, on games. my answer is a very simple one, i want to get the most out of my life, and money helps me enjoy my life. with my current allowance, i spend it to enjoy myself and get the best for myself.

a simple analogy will be that when a guy finds a girl (and vice versa), he will look around for the best in all aspects. when a soccer club buys a player, they will find the best for their money, who matches with the mentality and tradition of the club.

i spend my money on the best food, best clothes and best entertainment because i am getting the best for me. doesnt it sound so hedonistic and self centred? but i feel everyone does it too. its the same as studying to get the best results, training to be the best, all for yourself. i do all that too, study, and train, but nobody notices it.

moreover, when i spend money it is often with friends, and i believe they benefit from my spending too. unlike when someone studies, no one benefits from that. so im not as selfish as those people, i share my happinese and enjoyment of things.

iris

2004-10-15T03:15:00.000+10:00

i think this is my favourite song of all time. i first knew of it when i told yuwei i bought the cd for 1999 grammy nominations and he said yeah iris is a good song, i listened to it and i got hooked. back then in sec2 we were very close and i remember once we went china town to take photos for some project and then went to town. we ended up at heeren i think and had a drink n some food at spinelli's.

that was the strongest memory i have of our friendship then, and i always remember those moments when i listen to that song. i have many songs that have moments attached to them, and when i told people of that, they realised it too!

i recorded it onto a md and every morning i used the md to wake me n gab up, and he said later on that iris reminded him of those moments too.

i told this to a girl i liked alot in sec4, and she asked me to listen to their other song, lazy eye. after we became close she told me goo goo dolls reminded her of me. haha but that's all.

so these are the magic words in the beautiful song:

and i'd would give up forever to touch you,
cause i know that you'll feel me somehow.
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be,
and i don't want to go home right now.

all i can taste is this moment,
all i can breathe is your life.
cause sooner or later it's over,
i just don't want to miss you tonight.

and i don't want the world to see me,
cause i don't think that they'll understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
or the moment of truth in your lies.
when everything feels like the movies,
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

such a short but beautiful song. and it means so much to me.

mambo night

2004-10-15T03:06:00.000+10:00

went mambo night last night with some socc dudes (benkoh, jack, roger, ervin) and had hell lot of fun. i havent had so much fun since i used to club in j1 with da n weian, and sometimes with yuwei, ji n michael. just last saturday i got a real bad headache from a mere glass of wine, but last night i managed to do myself in silly with the jugs. haha!

i was alright all the way then a decided to get a drink of water from the toilet, and everyone followed me. it wasnt enough so i went out in search of fluids, and found shell. went in to buy drinks. in a while benkoh said he needed to puke and i brought him to puke and he kept puking. and he kept typing stupid amts of money so the atm ate his card.

he got drunk, and jack was pretty gone too because he already loaded up before coming. i thought i was ok but in class today i woke up, walked outside, and puked my delicious hokkein me that i so filled myself with for breakfast.

but well i havent had such fun and been so high for a long time it was good to lose it. til next time.

vinniedude

2004-10-13T00:22:00.000+10:00

i made quite a few good friends in my jc class, but i was closest to only 1 in school. outside school it could be different, we could go out together and stuff, and talk and play, but during school hours and lessons i was closest to vincent lam weijie aka xiaobai or vinniedude.

going into so6d in 2002, i had few friends. i knew xela quite well before hand and andrew a bit, and i knew dedi from soccer. i didnt know who vincent was. i think the first time we did something together was when they made me skip pe!! i cant believe it now but people were leading me astray. it was vincent, joshua, cherie, tienfang and mel and we went to watch some movie. oh i didnt watch the movie i went to play pool later but we skipped pe and ended up talking and doing stupid things.

and there were only 4 guys in chinese class and xela was always not around, and i could relate better to vincent. because of this we always sat together. almost always, but it was more always than almost. we were literally inseparable, and were forever together. if one went to ghim moh for lunch, both went. if one skipped class, both skipped. (with a few exceptions). and with such proximity, we shared so much of our lives with each other, filling in time with conversation. whether it was troubles, recounting fun moments, idle chatter, girl problems or pure unadulterated bitching, we did it together. and so we know so much of each other and know each other so well.

we went out on all fridays to watch movie or play pool sometimes, we studied together, and before and after tests we would be together discussing questions or answers. we would wait for each other, and would hang out together to kill time.

i feel that this relationship with him is quite special because we are very different people. we have very different interests, and very different social circles. the only reason we are good friends is because we were in the same class. the only reason we got to meet each other. that makes my friendship with him very special. because i cant say that we played alot of soccer, we chionging and shopping alot, or say that i grew up with him, or say that he came to my house alot. we saw each other in school, and after school, and that was it.

there was a period of time in j1 where i felt we grew too close and i was very uncomfortable, so i could have been very cold and mean at that time, but i apologise for it now, it was unfair to you as you didnt do anything wrong.

but as i look back on this friendship, it is one that i will treasure for the rest of my life. vincent was always there for me, whether i wanted him or not, and he would ask me what the problem was when he sensed it, and he was spot on most of the time. he understood me very well and i think he accomodated me alot. he is a innocent, as in he believes in the goodness of mankind and is very trusting. he doesnt think of how people scheme or about fame and popularity.

he was a breath of fresh air every morning. and seeing him on mondays sure cured my monday blues, because i knew for the next 5 days i had someone to talk to and slack with. and we had alot of interesting stories to share, people to laugh at, and jokes to tell. he is very optimistic, and that's very infectious. he never discourages, only encourages. he never provokes, but gives plain common sense to smooth my fury sometimes. he always smiles, even when the odds are against him, and this little bastard has alot of fighting spirit. he is the table tennis captain who led his team against all odds to beat HC in the group stages of u19 in j2, but they couldnt produce another miracle and lost in the semis. he trains very hard for table tennis, unlike me and my love affair with soccer, more of a mistress than a wife.

we cannot be everything in life, and vincent was alot that i could never be. i saw alot of good things in him that i didnt have, and sometimes he gave me a balance in life. he grounded me and kept me on firm solid ground. and he's a good bf im sure! he's very sensitive, though not too sensitive, and caring and nice and everything! heh.

thus this beloved classmate was a great part of my jc life, and i will always remember the time we had together in class, sleeping in lectures, eating at ghim moh esp lunch on tuesdays, watching movies in orchard on fridays at 130pm, playing pool at mambo, and everything else. when i think of him i think of trust, optimism, fun, and all the good times. thanks for the memories!

and sometimes i wonder why...

2004-10-13T00:17:00.000+10:00

experiences with many people in army have led to varied emmotions, but there is a trend of them that i always encounter, some described in previous entries. and the most important thing is they make me wonder why. why they behave is such a fashion. such a arrogant and self righteous fashion. i believe there is a reason for everything. and for people to behave in such a manner they must be backed up by something like money, talent, intellect, looks, personality or charater. and some people who behave horribly, without manners and care for their fellow men, have none of the above. what is backing them, making them so confident and capable of behaving like this? and they have been going through their lives like this. and sometimes i wonder why...

hoondetoshi nakiata

2004-10-12T03:37:00.000+10:00

even as we have been going through our very different lives for the past 3 years, this brother has remained close to my heart and we still found time together.

i first knew hoon relatively well in sec1. we were classmates and had many things in common. we played com games, soccer, and hung out in the same clique.

in the 2nd or 3rd week of school i could remember a lunch at kfc where i told the malta guy joke to him nala and yuwei, and we all laughed so hard we couldnt eat properly.

in sec1 we didnt do much together, but in sec2 hoon moved over to my neighbourhood. he had some problems at that time so i spent alot of time with him. we played soccer in school, watched movies and played punk, and he spent alot of time at my place on afternoons and evenings. i would play computer and he would just read, or we would reverse roles time to time, and i feel now that just being together with each other was enough. there was no need to tell jokes or to speak. maybe he just needed companionship at that time. (tell me if im wrong)

and we supported the same teams (chelsea and roma) so we never argued on the footballing side. we almost always played in the same team, and played the same computer games. we ate mos burger together, and at time other foods. through all this we developed a closeness that comes from doing things together.

and in sec3 we were even closer. doing all the things we did before. in sec3 and sec4 he often stayed over at my place to study, and watch football. almost all we did was watch football. and gab would get instant mee or drinks when it was late into the night.

once me, nala n gab went to hoon's house for one of the funnest days ever. we went at about 1 or 2 and started playing squash. we played for about 3 hours then went to swim. after fooling around in the pool for another 3 hours we went up to his house and washed up, and his mum cooked a very nice dinner for us. i won't forget that day, as much as i wont forget this other day.

we had ora in school and we were playing soccer. and while fooling around i poured a cup of juice onto hoon's hair. then i ran off. much later he came up to me and told me he wanted to whack me very much earlier on but he had to control himself. i didnt know why it affected him so much back then, because i was a joker and jokes were common to me, but then again i didnt know the meaning of going too far. now i thank him for not whacking me, as he's quite a strong boy. wonder what would happen to me or my family jewels if he had his wish. haha.

it was very joyful back in those days of innocence then we went separate ways in jc. but with the fusing of 2 soccer teams, it brought back our tricky left back. hoon is a monster in heading, and he has many tricks (but doesnt show them on the pitch, only the astroturd) and dirty tactics (ball grabbing). we have collaborated many times, and when i've lost my cool countless times on the pitch i have shouted at him, i would like to say sorry, hoon. (and to weian too haha, but not to gabriel who is lazy and arrogant, and keeps falling down).

even though i saw little of him in jc, sometimes he still came, and stayed over, and i could enjoy his intelligent wit and cunning puns. and our common hatred for the arsen.. whichever one. and i still eat with him sometimes, though we missed soccer the last time duty to guard duty.

we are very different now, doing different things, living different lives, but hoon is a living example of friendship existing and thriving despite lack of time and opportunities to meet. he's someone with such a slippery tongue, quick mind, great library of football tricks, infectious laughter and knower of so many jokes, and such a good friend, that i never, ever, want to lose him, except to death.

the unrealistically high expectations and hopes of society

2004-10-12T03:19:00.000+10:00

in my short, young and protected life, i have been fortunate to study and be involved in certain elite insitutions. i find a common problem in those insitutions, is that they seek to incalcate into everyone under their charge the believe that they have huge enormous potential in everything and that they should try all means to achieve this potential.

firstly this will create a very competitive society. achievement is placed above education. im not suggesting that achievement is not good, in fact it is great, great for self esteem and as a stepping stone to further development. no one can do without achievement. on the other hand, i am saying proper education is far more important than achievement. footballers talk about the winning mentality, but they must be educated in that winning mentality; it doesnt arise from achievement alone, and it is achieved as a team. this leads me on to my second point.

focusing on achievement will discourage teamwork, team dynamics, and selflessness in students, especially young impressionable children. when we are young our parents often teach us to share and care, to cooperate and take turns, yet when time comes for us to do all that, they teach us to fend for ourselves, and only do things that benefit us. we are after all profit maximising agents. but what they dont realise that the world at large, especially the corporate world is realising that a team is greater than the sum of its parts. many american unis have realised that, as has smu, but the rest of the field is lagging far behind. the MOE has taken steps to fit this into the current curiculum in the form of project work, but that plan has failed miserably leading the the abolishment of the module in a short 3 years of implementation. what is needed is a complete overhaul of the system, not doing things for the sake of doing it.

high expectations and hopes at a young age leading to selfish thinking and self centred behaviour. it discourages doing things that help others but not yourself. when weighing 2 options, one will choose the option more beneficial to himself, neglecting the effect it has on the other person. in an economic sense it causes welfare lost to the society as a whole.

but my main point is that the unrealistic high expectations and hopes that the institutions gave its students is that many cannot fulfil these expectations and hopes. why this is done is to make everyone work hard so that fewer fall short of expectations. and a higher percentage of those with the potential to succeed will eventually succeed, helping the institution. also, some who do not have the potential can develop themselves to eventually fit the bill somewhat. even if they dont they impress people and some superiors can be taken in easily by effort alone. effort is not to be underestimated.

it is good that a higher percentage of people fulfil their potential. but 3 groups of people develop that is detrimental to society. firstly, those with the potential but did not succeed. secondly, those without the potential and cannot succeed. lastly, those without the potential who did succeed. it the the last group that i am most worried about, and will speak out most strongly against.

for the first group, they will feel insecure as they have failed society. they know their potential but know they have failed. for the second group, they will realise that they are not as capable as they have been led to believe. hopefully for these 2 groups, they can pick themselves up and continue on with life, and seek to make the most out of their lives, in whatever way they wish.

the 3rd group is a very dangerous group; people who are recognised with no talent, and have worked their way up with pure labour. i am not against industry and hard work, but i feel that if industry and hard work is allowed to overtake potential and genius at their expense, then it is detrimental that genius and potential are not given the chance to contribute to society. also, if this success is possible, then success over potential and genius can be achieved through underhand dealings, backstabbing and politicking. and i have seen many of these cases in real life, and how my friends and me have suffered from such people.

the creation of such a class, a social demograph, will tear society apart. all the pillars of society are filled by little mediocre people who get there not by virtue or greatness but by hardwork, and the occasional dagger in someone's back. these daggers need not be serrated or sharpened, they may be blunt and rusty, or small and painless, but they all go a long way to put one in a favourable position over others. and such innocent betrayal is still betrayal. creating an unfair advantage over others that doesnt exist due to virtue.

i shall not give explicit examples in this entry. i shall say, however, that i value virtue and greatness in man far more than industry and good political manouvering. in fact i feel political manouvering is terribly disgusting and i hate to see people engaging in things like that in front of me. it is not honourable and it is sure not cool. and industry is nothing spectacular, because everyone is capable of doing so. virtue, beauty, character, personality, intellect and heart cannot be bought. when you experience it all in a person, it is a magical relationship. i am honoured that many of my close friends are like that, and i take it personally that life is not treating many of them as well as life treats the hardworking and the cunning. i can be hardworking and cunning too, and with my intellect, i will beat all those that do not deserve what they have now one day.

people who have unrealistically high expectations and hopes

2004-10-12T03:01:00.000+10:00

i wrote the previous entry because lately i have been encountering people with unrealistic expections and hopes of themselves. they are typical in many areas. all are very mediocre, who are not that brilliant, talented, nor beautiful. on the other hand they believe they are forces of power not to be trifled with, supremely gifted with beauty and brains, mulit-talented and very popular and cool. i am going over the top. somebody save me please.

1. the guy who thinks he's metro but cant tell cavalli from armani and dior from miu miu
2. the guy who thinks he damn cool with all his cool dress sense, funky taste in music, clubbing experience, and intelligent while he's just a supreme mugger
3. the fucker who's all arrogant just cos he's been lucky to have done a bit well and been in esteemed company, thinks he's really clever and intelligent and cool enough to put people down when ugly is a compliment to him
4. the 'playboy' who is desperate for girls. he's had like 15 girlfriends in 5 years or something. really God's gift to women.
5. the quite nice guy who is really selfish and lazy and self centred. and he's a scholar. the pillar of my nation.

all five are from delta wing and around me now. what a great place to be educated in. i feel so left out im not from there.

episode 2

2004-10-10T03:57:00.000+10:00

the next morning, the crown prince and his guests broke fast in the gazebo in the middle of his maze hedge. the crown prince loved this setting as he felt sheltered from the prying eyes and accusing stares of the world. here he could be safe and almighty in his own world.

as playgirl fed him some grapes with one hand, and smoothed his muscular torso with the other, the baron and his entouraged walked into the opening of the maze and they came into view.

"Ah my baron, i should have known, i could smell your hairyness from afar. i was wondering which servant didnt clear the trash this morning."

"forgive me my lord, i already showered, i couldnt get rid of the smell. i hope your guests wont take notice."

"notice will be taken, but offence wont of course. come my hairy baron and his baroness, join us for breakfast."

as the baron sat on the right of the crown prince, the baroness and playgirl went off to a smaller hut to engage in the intellectual activity of discussing the trials and faults of people.

as breakfast went on, another one of the pillars of the crown prince's power structures, the girlfriend stealer arrived with his lastest steal.

"wow, girlfriend stealer, you have a new steal! congradulations. now you dont have to bring playgirl to your dinners anymore. she can stay home and play with me!"

"come on man, is my reputation so bad?"

"no it isn't! because we are all brothers, right? come sit at my left hand!"

and so sat the girlfriend stealer. and the crown prince saw all the world at his feet. the rock, the hobbit, techno boy, and there was the hairy baron on his right and the girlfriend stealer on his left. now he only need await his foreign guests and the party would begin.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

the sultan pulled long on his pipe, closed his eyes, waited a while, then slowly exhaled. turning to beehoon and yang di pertuan agong, he said:

"the royalty has a party coming up. i see a chance for us to make our mark on society."

taking the pipe, beehoon said

"what do you want to do? it is difficult to penertrate their defences."

thinking deeply, the sultan rubbed his temples hard. his head bowed in deep thought, searching the recesses of his mind for an answer. it seemed like eternity, then he looked up, as he smiled:

"i know. we will call upon the league, and on my old friend, alexander the short great."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

the party heralded the arrival of many guests from all corners of the globe, but the grandest of all was the mongoloid. looking besplendent in his bear fur coat, his clothes hugged his body tightly, the truest show of wealth, the prosperity of his body. life has been good to the mongoloid and his friend, the deep sea diver.

the crown prince was very happy to see the mongoloid again, the last time they saw each other was at their prep school's final dinner, a grand ball, but the crown prince studied there another year, while the mongoloid and the deep sea diver returned to the far east to fight their wars. they won their wars, but til today both were bachelors, though great tacticians and generals on the field, they were poor soldiers in the war of love. or rumours had it they were more interested in each other than in women.

and the shows began, with fine drinks and gourmet food. caviar from the caspian, wine and truffles from france, chocolates from belgium, sausages and beer from germany, ham from parma, and prairie oysters from spain. such opulence is commonplace in the life of the royal, and with blood bluer than the deep blue see, who cold expect anything less?

through it all they were entertained with great music from techno boy, the life of any party.

and such pleasures and joys were their birthrighs, and rightfully so they took it for granted. but little did they know that in a small cave far up north, some delinquent rebellious citizens were plotting to cause their downfall.

episode 1

2004-10-09T18:50:00.000+10:00

the crown prince sat in the throne room with his subjects surrounding him. surveying those around him, he pondered about the power of his empire, and the influence he had over his subjects. they were enjoying each other's company in his castle, they loved him and his company, they loved his castle, they loved his rule. they respected him and eagerly anticipated his coronation.

it has been a long day for the crown prince, entertaining his subjects. they were the closest people to him and they were the richest, most respected, the most happening, the coolest, the most beautiful and the most influential in the land. all the minor lords and peasants looked up to them and wished they could be like them. he felt tired and took a sip of water.

looking up to his servant, he asked for a mirror to do a spot check on his hair. staring into the mirror, he marvelled at how cool he looked, with his super spiked up hair. could anyone be more beautiful. sure, some thought he was a poser and act cool, but seriously, a crown prince to the throne must look good. like me, he told himself. he asked for some wax and touched up his hair. splendid, he remarked, and thanked his servant for his help.

the crown prince loved looking good. and he loved looking better. he knew he couldnt do anything to his face (what on earth is plastic surgery?) but what he lacked in the face department, he could cover up with his hair. he had an outrageous hairstyle. he waxed his full locks into a super spiked hairstyle, and he was famous in the land. the older lords commented on how childish the hairstyle was and told him a king in the making could not have such hair, but he filled his court with like minded nobles, who had great taste in fashion, great love for pleasure, and great pride in themselves. moreover, he was a great sportsman, and he felt the hairstyle made him look fearsome in combat. and he looked cool anyway. the coolest hairstyle in the land.

the crown prince was throwing a party, helped out by one of his favourite subjects, techno boy. techno boy was a expert in the field of party holding, having experienced holding parties in many different embassies before. the crown prince and techno boy were teamates on the field too. two other teamates, the hobbit and the rock would help out. this party was to be a great one, for all his subjects to enjoy themselves. it would last a week. the crown prince felt that work, and studying (he was young, and royalty must be knowlegeable) was to be put off as much as possible. life was about pleasure, sport, and well... ..looking good. he was all 3, wasnt he.

this party was to be big. he was going to have a visitor, an old friend, the mongoloid and his friend. visitors from afar always excited the crown prince, as he had a chance to show the outside world how cool he was. so he went all out for this event.

the crown prince was bethrothed to his princess, playgirl for a while. playgirl was one of the hottest properties around, and crown prince felt very happy he finally got together with playgirl. he loved playgirl more than anything in the world, and moreover, she was such a hottie who gave him pleasure everywhere, including in public, in places like the library, where they study, and the dining hall, where they hang out sometimes when they're free.

now playgirl went up to crown prince and whispered something in his ear. he raised his glass and spoke.

"lords and ladies, the night is not young. we should get rest while we can, before the party starts. a toast to all of you, goodnight!"

after finishing his drink he retired to his quarters with playgirl.

the picture of dorian gray

2004-10-09T00:51:00.000+10:00

i just finished reading the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde, and together with 3 others books (the beach, lord of the flies, clubland) it scares me. all 4 books touch on the ease of which humans degrade into immoral, then amoral people, and into murderers. and all start of as perfect, ideal, utopian communities in which people just want to have fun.

i am reminded that it is very easy for me and all my friends to fall into a trap, a trap of self worship, self idolation, hedonism and immorality. i see all around me people who i feel are immoral, who rate themselves too far up and others too far down. and i see clearly as the third party. but how about me? and those closest to me? i believe i know myself very well. i may know myself very well on the first layer, but how bout the second? and the third? self deceit is the most powerful form of deceit, because u hardly doubt the originator. so am i really better than those i look upon with scorn?

and with all my indulgences and hedonistic and materialistic pleasures, am i falling into this kind of trap? trying to be a gentleman in victorian polite society in today's terms? to be cultured to appreciate quality, luxury and class? all three come with a price, in monetary or oral terms. to live the good life doesn't come cheap. or to be a socialite? with influences in shadier dealings like parties? am i trying consciously or subconsciously to be the dorian grays and michael aligs of today? to keep out-doing myself like alig, and to enjoy pleasures like gray?

in this society filled with infinite number of temptations, will i, and my friends be able to withstand them, or will we decay together with society? there is just a thin line between fantasy and reality, between a feeling to kill, and premeditated murder. the thin red line. the position on the right side of it has never seemed so fragile. the gravity of evil, immorality, carnal pleasures and arrogance has always been strong, and today it revealled the strength of it to me, through this literature.

and many talk of the powerful influence of movies, theatre, music and friends, but nothing is more powerful than the power of literature. it has suggestion and mystery, leaving space for both the writer's imagination and slant and the reader's interpretation of what reality the literature describes. and literature has influenced me in a very great way, i may be living in puzo's world, the world he created for romantics like me, where i believe in a dream with my friends, la costra nostra, our world, and i will stop at nothing to get it.

and then there is just so much out there calling to young impressionable people to join in, gambling, drinking, smoking, sex, living the good material life, and socialising, being socially skillful, manouvring in and out of situations, between people, close to people, planting knives behind backs and thus being popular, the in crowd. that is so pathetic. it is so easy to succumb to the above and anyone can ruin your life without you trying too hard.

and with small steps come bigger ones. i cant answer many moral questions like will i harbour a murderer? will i condone it, or influence it, or even commission it? maybe that's thinking too far. but there is a rot in society, and many people are condoning it. the singapore government says it does hire gay, is that not condoning homosexuality? the power of the pink dollar has proven to us that the monetary worth and power of immorality and criminal is always more, because it is either more attractive or it is limited, thus a black market emerges.

so as i was reading the picture of dorian gray i was looking at gray's potrait, wondering if i saw myself there. the pursuit of pleasure, not happiness. wishing the potrait would bear all external signs of aging to retain youthful good looks and his facade forever. i didnt see myself in there, or anyone i knew, but i saw a warning, that things may not remain as we do.

suprises, guard duties and keys.

2004-10-08T03:19:00.000+10:00

my brother came back on 180904, at night. after booking out i just stayed at home and then went to thomson plaza to buy some stuff for camp, then went with my family to pick him up. along the way azad called and told us he was coming, and this was to lead to some unpleasantness later on. my dad was unhappy that we had to wait. they expected gabriel to go out with them but they never ever plan for it. they leave it as a contingency and expect him to take it. but we had plans, with hoon. so father was pissed he went there to help his son bring home a bag, and had to wait for azad. gab was pissed too because azad keeps suprising him and he felt it got in the way of plans.

anyway we went to newton and gab ate alot of stingray. we ate like jcc cadets and made a mauritian friend who was here on business. and then we went home and he gave me a present. i didnt expect it from a bankrupt but it was not cheap and was perfect for me! (a orange EA polo tee!) and i tried his chocolate coated roasted coffee beans that phua chu kang bought. it was as good as starbucks iced cafe mocha.

the next day we went out for pool and walk around a bit before going home, and out for dinner with the family before i booked in. always nice to stone in town with him. feels like nothing can stop us, as all youths believe. and weian pls hurry and come back, im missing you.

i spent the next week smsing owen planning his suprise party which wasnt such a suprise after all. and i thought it was a plan worthy of machievelli (how do u spell his name)

i booked out on friday, and we slept early for soccer the next day. yuwei picked us for breakfast, and my hunt for eggs in amk failed so we settled for mee pok before soccer. soccer was ok but not enough ppl so we had to play with sec4 guys. saw krishnan but he dissapeared!! must see him soon! :(. haha im acting cute yucks

lunch was at far east with dave n matt as well. matt left and we met hon and aik for movie. met mun at lido and asked him along for the suprise. watch new police story (great man) then sent gab n yuwei to play pool while we bought him his present: robot prada keychain. i havent got him a present yet though. damn.

upon reaching home i sent him up too obviously and he went to bathe so i told the rest hiding in the kitchen to go up to the study. he looked suprised when he came out though he said there were so many clues. but he was suprised that one friend came back from overseas.

so i hope u had a fun birthday, and if i have a hand in it next yr's will be better! i'll try! that's the last i saw of him since i had to book in for guard duty! on sunday morning! shit.

there was ex vhf2 that week where prep was a killer and we slept at 2 for 4 nights in a row. i was cpc so had to coordinate the ex. it turned out well, i enjoyed my can soup and we caught up on sleep during the ex. haha. got gold for trial test. booked out on friday night, watched resident evil (silly show) and booked in sat morning for guard again, out on sun morning.

in on sunday night, and the week was relatively smooth. did not too bad for line/radio theory test, and radio theory test. got gold for ippt ($200) with 9:11 timing. not a big deal but my best ever. i improved 33 sec in a week. so im happy! coc on wed so no longer cpc hahaha. man mode.

booked out earlier on at 7 to watch alicia keys with xue. she was so dynamic, and her good songs were so.... good. man. haha and she looked quite cool man. really worth the money man. then went to post bar for post concert drink. had a black velvet and now my head's spinning around, i seem to have lost the ability to drink dammit.

poly phase 2 will start later today, so i hope i enjoy myself alot during this period, because after taht the exercises will kill. i need to sleep soon.

sampoerna

2004-10-05T00:06:00.000+10:00

i think that's how its spelled. i think its one of the best tasting things on earth. ok not on earth but one of the joys. but only the international version. i wonder why the singaporean ones suck so much. im never going to buy sporean cigs again. so ex. my airport sams cost me 1.9 only man, and im sticking by them. the best thing indonesia gave to the world. i really love the full taste of the clove cigs. heh.

hey ya

2004-10-03T22:29:00.000+10:00

hey ya! you! if you're reading this now, hope you're not too sad. though i wonder how you'll do it without your com. everyone has his luck, and im sorry that you've had tough luck being burgled. even though alot is gone, it can be bought back! it's only money man. cheer up dude! smile. laugh. dont worry, be happy. things can be bought back. you're still alive man! there are so many other people who are unluckier than you! and you still look real good, shoot real hard and get real hard... er oops, haha! so dont frown, think happy thoughts, and i'll cya soon? hope u find the bugger and screw him real hard though, haha.

death thoughts

2004-10-03T22:12:00.000+10:00

i've always wondered what will happen when i died. not being morbid or anything, but i just want to know what people will say about me. and especially during premature deaths, people will have even better things to say about you, because of your unfulfilled potential. can you picture this scene, at my funeral, what will people be saying of me? will they be sad enough to cry? or will they know that i hate to see my friends crying? and what will they remember of me? and in what way will i have influenced their lives?

i realise that at 2 occassions in your life you are most important: your birthday, and your funeral. but you only get to experience one, the less significant one. on your birthdays its like this happens every year, so people may get bored, or they might be unhappy with you for that period of time. but death buries all grudges, especially among friends. death can reconcile friendships, even though it is too late. it is at a death bed where you realise the importance of someone, only after he is gone. like man u n rio, but that's seriously a lousy analogy.

i am really interested to what people i know think of me, though i have a pretty good idea of that. but it is interesting to hear what they will say about you when you're gone, because when you're dead no one will lie about you or hide their feeling about you. you are over. it is alright to comment freely on something that doesnt exist anymore. like after a government falls then people will say what they feel, and analysts and critics can publish book after book with detailed studies, fearing no backlash.

and i wonder what the atmosphere will be like at my funeral. people going there for the sake of going, or to see me for the last time. and what will they be talking about? news, current affairs, gossip or idle chatter? or will they talk about me?

i feel that your funeral sums up your life. whoever you've impacted, whatever you've done, is reflected at that one final moment you have left connecting you to this fallen world, before you rise to meet the Creator. and that moment will let everyone know how you've lived your life. it is to me a report card, that can tell you whether you've passed, or failed. and i hope that when that day comes, i've passed the test of life.

top 12 list

2004-10-03T21:59:00.000+10:00

these are the simple pleasures in life that i cannot get enough of (not ranked in any order):
1. half boiled eggs
2. minced meat beehoon, and i add cockles to this
3. teh o, kopi
4. ice cafe mocha venti, yes ice cubes not blended, and could i have some whipped cream please
5. seeing some ppl who are always not around (like the 2 in aust, the diver, the one who has my 7650)
6. seeing other ppl who are always around (haha no la sometimes la): the malaysian, "see you at the gate", ah phua
7. watching chelsea win
8. eating porridge
9. hot bath
10. sleeping in my bed
11. chelsea buying another world class star
12. watching arsenal lose, or fight within the ranks, haha
when i come out with another list i'll tell you.

no time

2004-10-03T21:56:00.000+10:00

i have no time to blog, which is why i havent done so in weeks! due to my bro coming back, and 2 guard duties, i can only blog today. and i have to book in in an hours time. shit man. so hoon, stop complaining! im already doing my best

friend found!

2004-09-16T03:12:00.000+10:00

on tuesday i went bowling with my platoon mate from signals called kevin koh. no one else went sadly. so we bowled and since we lived close to each other we shared a cab home and via our conversation we found out that we were classmates for 3 years! in pri1-3. haha its so lucky that i've found him again.

living

2004-09-16T00:58:00.000+10:00

i realised what differentiates with me from alot of other people. i really want to enjoy life and live life to the fullest and others either have other considerations or they dont dare. its not about being non-comformist or about being anti-establistment or selfcentred, but its about the decisions you make and the things you are willing to let go and those that you arent. this is an attempt to understand my psyche about life, so it may be inaccurate, and i do admit you may know me better than myself.

i feel that to truly live life, you must set your own parameters for living and enjoyment. dont follow what others feel. if you want to stay at home and read, dont care if its nerdy. if you want to go clubbing, dont care that its poser. i guess the theory of marginal utility (or enjoyment, happiness) applies here, you sacrifice money (or even time if the activity is costless) for the activities you want until the next unit cost equals the next unit of enjoyment and stop there. that's for money i think for time its different since the supply is limited. with your limited supply of time you spend your time on the combination of activities that give you the greatest total utility. i see that alot with the way people plan their time. its planned such that they make full use of their time with many different (or few big) activities. in other words to maximise utility. so much for econs.

ah shit was i making sense.

and you must make your own fun, dont do things if you dont want to. like if your friend tells you to go clubbing and he says you're not cool if you dont go, dont go if you realy dont want to. and we must do things we really love, we mush chase our dreams.

too many times in life we give up our dreams. and we are only limited by 2 factors, society and yourself. first there is society. everywhere we can see the oppression of society. society in singapore has created a one size and type fit all model for success. sadly this permeates society at all levels. in school you are defined by grades, achievements, posts held and cca points. who cares if you had a rich and fulfilling life doing things you love, nurturing meaningful friendships, pursuing knowledge, when at the end of the day 3 main documents sum your achievements in that particular institution. society has made students follow a mould for success based on their overcompetitiveness and terrible affinity for ranking. and comparing.

this spills over to work life too where success is determined by paychecks, cars and houses. who gives a damn bout job satisfaction? and what if your dreams is to have a startup? how many people can find parents who are supportive? not only financially, but emmotionally? they will more likely tell you about all the cons and the risks involved, but hardly will any pat you on the back and say well doen, go for it, take the risk. parents can limit your achievements by this very fact.

and you yourself are your own worst enemy. because of lack of confidence or apathy to your own dreams, you may not wish to step out of your comfort zone and do what you dream of doing. be it going to your dream u, or getting the dream girl (as illustrated in harold and kumar go to white castle), or pursuing your dreams in business or enjoyment. so terrible isnt it

i had no qualms dealing with society's expectations of me because i feel i am confident enough to ignore society in general. society is such a generalisation that it cannot apply to anyone. society is to be ignore in this sense, it cannot ask you to conform. rather you could try making the society around you conform to your vision of utopia. and then life will be easier for everyone. but not anybody can create la costa nostra.

the expectations of my parents i fear because i feel i have alot to live up to. and thus alot of time when i take risks i must weight the consequences of losing. and i am too comfortable with my life to want to take risks sometimes, and do things the harder way. because i've been too lucky sometimes i feel it's not worth it sacrificing my current state of enjoyment to do somethings i've wanted to do for a very long time. it may be laziness, or if more complicated it's complacency, i've done enough, im good enough.

and then i live life to be the best. not necessarily that i must win in everything, but i must be the besti can be for now. to look the best, to eat the best, to do the most fun things, to accomplish as much as i want in the short period of time i have, which now is a weekend. so i spend alot of money on things like clothes because only the best is good enough for me. and food too. but the best might not be the most expensive, and i frequent many food joints where the food is very cheap too. too many peopl care too much about money and are very calculative. i dont believe that you can save a fortune. but you can earn a fortune. it is so hard to get anywhere saving all the small amounts and you get very calculative and stressed thinking about how much you could have saved.i rather spend within my means (sometimes a little extravagantly) but i can say i did what i want to did and im happy. i want to be the best to myself and my friends.

with regards to friends, i only need the best. i dont need friends who ask me to treat them or who dont pay or offer to pay. i mean yeah i dont need your money but i need your respect. im not your father so dont expect to live off me. i dont need friends who use me to boost their egos. telling me how great they are and taking me on their ego trip. i dont need friends to put me down, to make snide remarks and mean it. and i dont need people to discourage me. so stay away if you're going to do any of this.

i live life with a clear idea of what i need and dont need. so i dont need to put up with people i cant stand because i know they will not improve me or my life in anyway. and its very difficult to for me to influence some of them because for my influence they're out of reach.

but i live life knowing what i want to do and pursue it. thought i might give up at times i feel generally in control of my life and decisions. which i dont see in many people, especially the high flyers. they change ideals very quickly, based on the skill of the salesman. in this case scholarship boards, parents or maybe society. i see it happen to some close to me, sign their lives away when previously they were adamant about chasing their dreams. their crystal clear vision of life crumbled in front of the reality of stability and paper- qualifications and stable income.

and lastly i am confident enough to ignore undesirable things, like put downs and discouragement. and i laugh at those who disapprove of me, because i know that they are naive. we must listen to the opinions of others, but there must be a line drawn where we can stop and laugh a criticism off, or else we will be bothered everytime someones makes a remark about us. when we can live life without caring about all this things we can truly be ourselves and enjoy the processes of life, because we do not care about being graded by other people.

and i want to be unique. i feel i need to express myself, and how my special charater and personality. i feel everyone is unique, its whether you wish to express your individuality or be one of the crowd by chasing the same dreams and fitting into the same mould.

tan aik hoong

2004-09-14T03:11:00.000+10:00

yesterday night while watching a bar-msc ferrarri 1-2 someone said i was very lazy and asked me to buck up and use my free time at home to go blog. its about bloody time i introduce him, one of the important people in my life, gabriel tan aik hoong.

everytime i think of this clown i can only think about his sad love life. i mean like there are so many choices he can take but he always chooses those that end up unsuitable. the song desperado goes something like there are so many choices laid upon ur table, but you always want the ones that you cant get. i dont know why he cant get them either, he is overqualified boyfriend material for anyone to consider. as you will understand as this wonderful entry unfolds.

firstly he's so talented. i mean i got an underage guy to lead sing 2 out of 3 songs of the band for my post prom party. and im sure he rocked the crowd. and my party. and his friends. but not the one that mattered. so his lead guitar and singing is good. i must say im not too impressed with his song writing because his songs are rather boybandish but his music taste isnt, though many of his friends are impressed. oh well.. and he can play bass too, and drums, so much so that a band in melbourne asked him to play drums for their performance. oh did i forget to mention that he was 'busking' in melbourne at 3am and was given 3bucks? moving on...

and he's a good footballer too man its great having him on your team with his free kicks, great ball possession, pace and long legs, eagerness to fight for balls be it sliding or fighting for headers, and for hitting and abusing those that find trouble with me. thanks dude. and its damn fun to fight against people with your brother haha. and his drive... great man. but his fitness and solo and arrogance and showmanship and pride makes him a liability sometimes, but nobody's perfect. and he tells me his improving. and i know how to make him motivated and play properly, just keep praising him and he'll be very happy. such a simple minded person.

so i'll skip his flair for attracting the gals like bestie, golden balls and now people like the young england players. its so sad with all his skills and intelligence, this clown couldnt do well for results in o's. and he blew his only chance of appeal into ac by going in civis and with dyed hair. what a fool. oh well. now that he's in melbourne i hope he can do well. i mean he tries to study, but his ever energetic and active mind cannot keep at peace. i mean like he goes wisma coffee club to study and half an hour later he and his friend gives up and they head to play pool. great determination and concentration man. i've got to give you a prize for that.

and the best part about our very close friendship, is that we're brothers. i mean we're more friends than brothers, and this might sound stupid but we're more brothers than many other sets of brothers. and we're better friends than many other sets of friends too. i mean like we share everythings lest underwear, girls and tastes. but we share everything else. under the sun and under the moon. like getting chased by police on e same night, drinking, smoking, feeling high, playing soccer, watching soccer, watching movies, eating, shopping, spending cash, cabbing, everything man.

yeah he understands me like no other can, and i understand him to. so back to back against the world together with other people no one can topple us down. not those girls who dont reciprociate his feelings, not the tough exams papers, not the chem teacher who asked him 3 questions that he couldnt answer, not anything man.

we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. time flew by and now the bugger is coming back again! hope he does well for his exams, dont lose too much money, get lucky and buy me the things i need hahaha. and well have fun when u come back bro.