soccer results

last weekend was one of the best weekends in soccer viewing i've had. no, i didn't win money, but 2 results over the weekend were enough to fill me with euphoria. firstly, on saturday, chelsea beat blackburn 4-0. sure, it was only blackburn, but chelsea showed alot of promise in many areas. cech was great in goal, the defence showed no weakness at all, in midfield blackburn could not match chelsea in any way, and in attack the clinical finishing of gudjohnsen was a show of how they can score anytime, with just one chance. haha enough of chelsea

and even better was that man utd beat arsenal! horrible, arrogant, lucky arsenal. it was sweeter that ruud scored a penalty. and roy keane didnt even play! arsenal were bullied alright, but they deserved it and needed to be taught a lesson. disgusting arsenal finally lost in the league, and they should continue to lose.

yup even though ferrari didnt win or get second in sao paolo, football more than made me happy.

mess opening ceremony

i can't believe i typed this on wednesday after the mess opening ceremony:

I have just finished my cadet mess opening ceremony in SOCC. It was a ok experience, with a lot of beer and alcohol, of which I contributed 10 bottles. Apart from mixing srinks the whole night, my platoon mates made me represent them in the games.

In the first game of charades, we lost to the seniors and officers because they cheated! All in an attempt to get us drunk. Because the loser had to drink. We evaded it the first game, but in the second we lost again due to some cheating, and they made us drink! The entire batch!

The day had some great performances by jack and other guys, but the highlight was the seniors trying to make us drink. I knew I was going to go soon because I represented the platoon twice and I drank some by myself, so I pretended to be drunk and pours about 3L of alcohol on the floor, but they kept coming. We should have hidden the drinks because I remember them taking tequila and other alocohols and mixing it in the end, I was thinking whether I would fool them by pretending to spill the drink by being drunk but in the end they gave up, if I remembered correctly.

The state of the platoon is terrible; the officers left when we were drunk, and one guy just puked. Another one is sleeping on the floor waiting to puke, I hope he doesn’t and feel’s alright tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, we have a test at 8 in the morning, I wonder how we’ll end up doing. Before that we have stand by bed at 0730, and I don’t see how we’re going to make the standard at all.

We also have route march tomorrow, and I am looking forward to that because it will mean the end of the week, and there is only one more long lesson after the route march! I will fill my water ba\g with gatorade and hope I will remain vitalised (if such a word exists) through it all.

And now drunk me will try to sleep and recover, so goodnight all you!

f*cking gastric

thanks to a suprise mission starting at 3am and ending at 8am, i've been having gastric for almost 11 hours already. this is totally terrible man. someone told me now i understand how women feel in labour. yeah man i get a rough idea, even though i know its no where near. i have popped 11 pills over the course of 8 hours and the pain is showing no signs of easing off. i shall have to try to sleep it off or get my injection to cure it. what a way to start a weekend.

transies

after cutting hair at supercuts, i was going downstair to sasa to buy facial wash and scrub. i saw this group of 4 chicks with short shorts and tanks on the escalator below me. then they started talking, and MAN, did they sound MANLY. #@*&%^$&@*!*@&$*!!!!!!! terri-terri-terrible! ugh! idiots man they spoilt my day and my appetite. i didnt want to look straight at them so looked either 90degrees left or right, and i was so happy when they left. bane to society! demerit good! f*ck!

Ed: the write was exaggerating when he called them chicks for storytelling effects, he more of meant that they looked decently woman.

cars and bicycles.

haha on sunday after dinner i casually mentioned to my dad i would like to test drive his cars. so he let me drive the merc. it was rather diff to drive man the reverse gear is to the extreme left, and the gear stick doesnt go into the slot easily. and the car is low so i can judge very well. then when i drove the car into the lot, my dad had to move the 911 in, and guess what? i got to drive the 911 as well! hahaha i'm so happy (was). it was damn fun man, but it was very low too so it seemed faster and i cant see the left hand side of the car! but i cant wait to get my licence and tear down the road in these babies.

and i rode bicycle just now. we bought this bike like 6 years ago, but it was (and is) a damn good racing bike so its still in tip top condition. haven't rode in a damn long time so i had alot of fun charging up slopes and down straight roads. but my knee hurts like hell, so my dad gave me these super pain killers. hope they work

2046

i just watched 2046, and what a beautiful show it was. a multiple layered show that revealed much to me. for those who havent watched it and want to, please do not spoil the show and read this entry after you have had the pleasure of consuming the performance yourself.

one thing that struck me was the part where the lead (tony leung) said something about love. he said it wasn't the right time. in a different time it could have worked out. i can't agree nor disagree, but there is some truth to what he says. if love happens to early, the relationship may not be successful. is youth and immaturity an impediment to a successful relationship? that could very well be true, and an otherwise perfect relationship can break down because of that. on the other hand if one is too late, he might miss the boat. timing is everything? in war, in love? it is in many other areas.

he mentioned christmas, saying it is the time of the year where many need extra warmth, maybe he also meant companionship? for man is a sociable creature, and on special occasions, where people are supposed to celebrate, he will need companionship to be at ease with the world and her unearthly expectations. i feel that the world has shaped our perception of many, if not everything, and this need to celebrate and have friends about you during festivals is a fabrication, it is not natural. but we feel the weight on our self esteem and confidence when we are short of this companionship. maybe i should try this year to spend christmas and new year by myself, or am i supposed to be spending it with God all along? and not men?

then love again. i see him a someone who cannot commit, cannot bend his will to another person, place someone in front of him. he treats women as companions or lovers, but not partners. he always has the upper hand in relationships. but then when he told one of his female companions to find him when she can deal with her past, he mentioned that he could have been saying that to himself, because of a failed relationship with a married lady. could one failed relationship cause him to lose his ability to love again?

there was a lady in the story who got killed by her drummer boyfriend. the lead actor said that maybe it didnt matter to her, as long as she was the leading actress in the story. it is very common for the leads in life to fade after their 15mins of fame is burnt up very quickly, but how bout those who enjoy those 15mins slowly, never surfacing far enough to make an impression, but somehow they're around at the end where the leads have died or faded off. one hit wonders. a trend then, but no longer trendy after a while. is it better to be the lead for a while, or the supporting actor that lasts til the end? or can one be the lead actor and live forever?

the purpose of 2046, is to take the train there, and live in your lost memories. thats what everyone wants to do, isnt it? isn't it great to be able to live your best memories over and over again? then you can have the perfect life chosen from the past. or is that a terrible thing, to never be able to experience more in life than that? time goes on but no matter how much longer it goes on for you cannot experience anything else other than your past? is being able to live out a tough future better than being trapped in a utopian past?

enough for tonight, i'll come back with more next time!

P.S. someone is terribly lazy and hasn't blogged since 19 August. has he moved to the casino? but isnt there a internet connection there?

new formation

hey i thought of a new formation we can use when u guys come back in dec. i think its so wonderful because its more of a system than a formation, because it employs a different shape in attack and in defence.

in defence it is a standard 5-4-1 with the position of the forward behind the halfway line, thus we have 11 guys in our half defending, with 2 defensive lines. we don't engage them til they come close enough, then we can use numerical superiority to overcome them. the idea is not to engage til engaged, thus saving energy, and letting the unfit last longer

when attacking, the sweeper (centre centre back haha) and the left and right wing back close in to form a 3 man defence, while the left and right centre backs push forward to be defensive midfielders. this is supported in front with 2 central midfielders and 2 wingers, and the striker in front. thus we have strong bone in the centre of the pitch when attacking, and can overload them in centre midfield, then release the swifty australian wingers. we cannot waste their energy.

thus we have numerical strength while defending and attacking, but have the flexibility to switch between the two shapes when required. but i realise its very hard as we will as usual go out with all guns blazing and then get tired real soon. maybe creatine will help.

so gab can either be winger or one of the centre mids assiting the forward. the usual suspects in defense include hoon, michael, nala. midfield would be me, yam, dwong, da. wingers could be yuwei and alex sim and striker kevin. see if we can get others to join us like lennard or kenny.

haha i hope we can win cos we havent done so in a very long while.

the best

many people ask me why i spend so much money, on clothes, on food, on games. my answer is a very simple one, i want to get the most out of my life, and money helps me enjoy my life. with my current allowance, i spend it to enjoy myself and get the best for myself.

a simple analogy will be that when a guy finds a girl (and vice versa), he will look around for the best in all aspects. when a soccer club buys a player, they will find the best for their money, who matches with the mentality and tradition of the club.

i spend my money on the best food, best clothes and best entertainment because i am getting the best for me. doesnt it sound so hedonistic and self centred? but i feel everyone does it too. its the same as studying to get the best results, training to be the best, all for yourself. i do all that too, study, and train, but nobody notices it.

moreover, when i spend money it is often with friends, and i believe they benefit from my spending too. unlike when someone studies, no one benefits from that. so im not as selfish as those people, i share my happinese and enjoyment of things.

iris

i think this is my favourite song of all time. i first knew of it when i told yuwei i bought the cd for 1999 grammy nominations and he said yeah iris is a good song, i listened to it and i got hooked. back then in sec2 we were very close and i remember once we went china town to take photos for some project and then went to town. we ended up at heeren i think and had a drink n some food at spinelli's.

that was the strongest memory i have of our friendship then, and i always remember those moments when i listen to that song. i have many songs that have moments attached to them, and when i told people of that, they realised it too!

i recorded it onto a md and every morning i used the md to wake me n gab up, and he said later on that iris reminded him of those moments too.

i told this to a girl i liked alot in sec4, and she asked me to listen to their other song, lazy eye. after we became close she told me goo goo dolls reminded her of me. haha but that's all.

so these are the magic words in the beautiful song:

and i'd would give up forever to touch you,
cause i know that you'll feel me somehow.
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be,
and i don't want to go home right now.

all i can taste is this moment,
all i can breathe is your life.
cause sooner or later it's over,
i just don't want to miss you tonight.

and i don't want the world to see me,
cause i don't think that they'll understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
or the moment of truth in your lies.
when everything feels like the movies,
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

such a short but beautiful song. and it means so much to me.

mambo night

went mambo night last night with some socc dudes (benkoh, jack, roger, ervin) and had hell lot of fun. i havent had so much fun since i used to club in j1 with da n weian, and sometimes with yuwei, ji n michael. just last saturday i got a real bad headache from a mere glass of wine, but last night i managed to do myself in silly with the jugs. haha!

i was alright all the way then a decided to get a drink of water from the toilet, and everyone followed me. it wasnt enough so i went out in search of fluids, and found shell. went in to buy drinks. in a while benkoh said he needed to puke and i brought him to puke and he kept puking. and he kept typing stupid amts of money so the atm ate his card.

he got drunk, and jack was pretty gone too because he already loaded up before coming. i thought i was ok but in class today i woke up, walked outside, and puked my delicious hokkein me that i so filled myself with for breakfast.

but well i havent had such fun and been so high for a long time it was good to lose it. til next time.

vinniedude

i made quite a few good friends in my jc class, but i was closest to only 1 in school. outside school it could be different, we could go out together and stuff, and talk and play, but during school hours and lessons i was closest to vincent lam weijie aka xiaobai or vinniedude.

going into so6d in 2002, i had few friends. i knew xela quite well before hand and andrew a bit, and i knew dedi from soccer. i didnt know who vincent was. i think the first time we did something together was when they made me skip pe!! i cant believe it now but people were leading me astray. it was vincent, joshua, cherie, tienfang and mel and we went to watch some movie. oh i didnt watch the movie i went to play pool later but we skipped pe and ended up talking and doing stupid things.

and there were only 4 guys in chinese class and xela was always not around, and i could relate better to vincent. because of this we always sat together. almost always, but it was more always than almost. we were literally inseparable, and were forever together. if one went to ghim moh for lunch, both went. if one skipped class, both skipped. (with a few exceptions). and with such proximity, we shared so much of our lives with each other, filling in time with conversation. whether it was troubles, recounting fun moments, idle chatter, girl problems or pure unadulterated bitching, we did it together. and so we know so much of each other and know each other so well.

we went out on all fridays to watch movie or play pool sometimes, we studied together, and before and after tests we would be together discussing questions or answers. we would wait for each other, and would hang out together to kill time.

i feel that this relationship with him is quite special because we are very different people. we have very different interests, and very different social circles. the only reason we are good friends is because we were in the same class. the only reason we got to meet each other. that makes my friendship with him very special. because i cant say that we played alot of soccer, we chionging and shopping alot, or say that i grew up with him, or say that he came to my house alot. we saw each other in school, and after school, and that was it.

there was a period of time in j1 where i felt we grew too close and i was very uncomfortable, so i could have been very cold and mean at that time, but i apologise for it now, it was unfair to you as you didnt do anything wrong.

but as i look back on this friendship, it is one that i will treasure for the rest of my life. vincent was always there for me, whether i wanted him or not, and he would ask me what the problem was when he sensed it, and he was spot on most of the time. he understood me very well and i think he accomodated me alot. he is a innocent, as in he believes in the goodness of mankind and is very trusting. he doesnt think of how people scheme or about fame and popularity.

he was a breath of fresh air every morning. and seeing him on mondays sure cured my monday blues, because i knew for the next 5 days i had someone to talk to and slack with. and we had alot of interesting stories to share, people to laugh at, and jokes to tell. he is very optimistic, and that's very infectious. he never discourages, only encourages. he never provokes, but gives plain common sense to smooth my fury sometimes. he always smiles, even when the odds are against him, and this little bastard has alot of fighting spirit. he is the table tennis captain who led his team against all odds to beat HC in the group stages of u19 in j2, but they couldnt produce another miracle and lost in the semis. he trains very hard for table tennis, unlike me and my love affair with soccer, more of a mistress than a wife.

we cannot be everything in life, and vincent was alot that i could never be. i saw alot of good things in him that i didnt have, and sometimes he gave me a balance in life. he grounded me and kept me on firm solid ground. and he's a good bf im sure! he's very sensitive, though not too sensitive, and caring and nice and everything! heh.

thus this beloved classmate was a great part of my jc life, and i will always remember the time we had together in class, sleeping in lectures, eating at ghim moh esp lunch on tuesdays, watching movies in orchard on fridays at 130pm, playing pool at mambo, and everything else. when i think of him i think of trust, optimism, fun, and all the good times. thanks for the memories!

and sometimes i wonder why...

experiences with many people in army have led to varied emmotions, but there is a trend of them that i always encounter, some described in previous entries. and the most important thing is they make me wonder why. why they behave is such a fashion. such a arrogant and self righteous fashion. i believe there is a reason for everything. and for people to behave in such a manner they must be backed up by something like money, talent, intellect, looks, personality or charater. and some people who behave horribly, without manners and care for their fellow men, have none of the above. what is backing them, making them so confident and capable of behaving like this? and they have been going through their lives like this. and sometimes i wonder why...

hoondetoshi nakiata

even as we have been going through our very different lives for the past 3 years, this brother has remained close to my heart and we still found time together.

i first knew hoon relatively well in sec1. we were classmates and had many things in common. we played com games, soccer, and hung out in the same clique.

in the 2nd or 3rd week of school i could remember a lunch at kfc where i told the malta guy joke to him nala and yuwei, and we all laughed so hard we couldnt eat properly.

in sec1 we didnt do much together, but in sec2 hoon moved over to my neighbourhood. he had some problems at that time so i spent alot of time with him. we played soccer in school, watched movies and played punk, and he spent alot of time at my place on afternoons and evenings. i would play computer and he would just read, or we would reverse roles time to time, and i feel now that just being together with each other was enough. there was no need to tell jokes or to speak. maybe he just needed companionship at that time. (tell me if im wrong)

and we supported the same teams (chelsea and roma) so we never argued on the footballing side. we almost always played in the same team, and played the same computer games. we ate mos burger together, and at time other foods. through all this we developed a closeness that comes from doing things together.

and in sec3 we were even closer. doing all the things we did before. in sec3 and sec4 he often stayed over at my place to study, and watch football. almost all we did was watch football. and gab would get instant mee or drinks when it was late into the night.

once me, nala n gab went to hoon's house for one of the funnest days ever. we went at about 1 or 2 and started playing squash. we played for about 3 hours then went to swim. after fooling around in the pool for another 3 hours we went up to his house and washed up, and his mum cooked a very nice dinner for us. i won't forget that day, as much as i wont forget this other day.

we had ora in school and we were playing soccer. and while fooling around i poured a cup of juice onto hoon's hair. then i ran off. much later he came up to me and told me he wanted to whack me very much earlier on but he had to control himself. i didnt know why it affected him so much back then, because i was a joker and jokes were common to me, but then again i didnt know the meaning of going too far. now i thank him for not whacking me, as he's quite a strong boy. wonder what would happen to me or my family jewels if he had his wish. haha.

it was very joyful back in those days of innocence then we went separate ways in jc. but with the fusing of 2 soccer teams, it brought back our tricky left back. hoon is a monster in heading, and he has many tricks (but doesnt show them on the pitch, only the astroturd) and dirty tactics (ball grabbing). we have collaborated many times, and when i've lost my cool countless times on the pitch i have shouted at him, i would like to say sorry, hoon. (and to weian too haha, but not to gabriel who is lazy and arrogant, and keeps falling down).

even though i saw little of him in jc, sometimes he still came, and stayed over, and i could enjoy his intelligent wit and cunning puns. and our common hatred for the arsen.. whichever one. and i still eat with him sometimes, though we missed soccer the last time duty to guard duty.

we are very different now, doing different things, living different lives, but hoon is a living example of friendship existing and thriving despite lack of time and opportunities to meet. he's someone with such a slippery tongue, quick mind, great library of football tricks, infectious laughter and knower of so many jokes, and such a good friend, that i never, ever, want to lose him, except to death.

the unrealistically high expectations and hopes of society

in my short, young and protected life, i have been fortunate to study and be involved in certain elite insitutions. i find a common problem in those insitutions, is that they seek to incalcate into everyone under their charge the believe that they have huge enormous potential in everything and that they should try all means to achieve this potential.

firstly this will create a very competitive society. achievement is placed above education. im not suggesting that achievement is not good, in fact it is great, great for self esteem and as a stepping stone to further development. no one can do without achievement. on the other hand, i am saying proper education is far more important than achievement. footballers talk about the winning mentality, but they must be educated in that winning mentality; it doesnt arise from achievement alone, and it is achieved as a team. this leads me on to my second point.

focusing on achievement will discourage teamwork, team dynamics, and selflessness in students, especially young impressionable children. when we are young our parents often teach us to share and care, to cooperate and take turns, yet when time comes for us to do all that, they teach us to fend for ourselves, and only do things that benefit us. we are after all profit maximising agents. but what they dont realise that the world at large, especially the corporate world is realising that a team is greater than the sum of its parts. many american unis have realised that, as has smu, but the rest of the field is lagging far behind. the MOE has taken steps to fit this into the current curiculum in the form of project work, but that plan has failed miserably leading the the abolishment of the module in a short 3 years of implementation. what is needed is a complete overhaul of the system, not doing things for the sake of doing it.

high expectations and hopes at a young age leading to selfish thinking and self centred behaviour. it discourages doing things that help others but not yourself. when weighing 2 options, one will choose the option more beneficial to himself, neglecting the effect it has on the other person. in an economic sense it causes welfare lost to the society as a whole.

but my main point is that the unrealistic high expectations and hopes that the institutions gave its students is that many cannot fulfil these expectations and hopes. why this is done is to make everyone work hard so that fewer fall short of expectations. and a higher percentage of those with the potential to succeed will eventually succeed, helping the institution. also, some who do not have the potential can develop themselves to eventually fit the bill somewhat. even if they dont they impress people and some superiors can be taken in easily by effort alone. effort is not to be underestimated.

it is good that a higher percentage of people fulfil their potential. but 3 groups of people develop that is detrimental to society. firstly, those with the potential but did not succeed. secondly, those without the potential and cannot succeed. lastly, those without the potential who did succeed. it the the last group that i am most worried about, and will speak out most strongly against.

for the first group, they will feel insecure as they have failed society. they know their potential but know they have failed. for the second group, they will realise that they are not as capable as they have been led to believe. hopefully for these 2 groups, they can pick themselves up and continue on with life, and seek to make the most out of their lives, in whatever way they wish.

the 3rd group is a very dangerous group; people who are recognised with no talent, and have worked their way up with pure labour. i am not against industry and hard work, but i feel that if industry and hard work is allowed to overtake potential and genius at their expense, then it is detrimental that genius and potential are not given the chance to contribute to society. also, if this success is possible, then success over potential and genius can be achieved through underhand dealings, backstabbing and politicking. and i have seen many of these cases in real life, and how my friends and me have suffered from such people.

the creation of such a class, a social demograph, will tear society apart. all the pillars of society are filled by little mediocre people who get there not by virtue or greatness but by hardwork, and the occasional dagger in someone's back. these daggers need not be serrated or sharpened, they may be blunt and rusty, or small and painless, but they all go a long way to put one in a favourable position over others. and such innocent betrayal is still betrayal. creating an unfair advantage over others that doesnt exist due to virtue.

i shall not give explicit examples in this entry. i shall say, however, that i value virtue and greatness in man far more than industry and good political manouvering. in fact i feel political manouvering is terribly disgusting and i hate to see people engaging in things like that in front of me. it is not honourable and it is sure not cool. and industry is nothing spectacular, because everyone is capable of doing so. virtue, beauty, character, personality, intellect and heart cannot be bought. when you experience it all in a person, it is a magical relationship. i am honoured that many of my close friends are like that, and i take it personally that life is not treating many of them as well as life treats the hardworking and the cunning. i can be hardworking and cunning too, and with my intellect, i will beat all those that do not deserve what they have now one day.

people who have unrealistically high expectations and hopes

i wrote the previous entry because lately i have been encountering people with unrealistic expections and hopes of themselves. they are typical in many areas. all are very mediocre, who are not that brilliant, talented, nor beautiful. on the other hand they believe they are forces of power not to be trifled with, supremely gifted with beauty and brains, mulit-talented and very popular and cool. i am going over the top. somebody save me please.

1. the guy who thinks he's metro but cant tell cavalli from armani and dior from miu miu
2. the guy who thinks he damn cool with all his cool dress sense, funky taste in music, clubbing experience, and intelligent while he's just a supreme mugger
3. the fucker who's all arrogant just cos he's been lucky to have done a bit well and been in esteemed company, thinks he's really clever and intelligent and cool enough to put people down when ugly is a compliment to him
4. the 'playboy' who is desperate for girls. he's had like 15 girlfriends in 5 years or something. really God's gift to women.
5. the quite nice guy who is really selfish and lazy and self centred. and he's a scholar. the pillar of my nation.

all five are from delta wing and around me now. what a great place to be educated in. i feel so left out im not from there.

episode 2

the next morning, the crown prince and his guests broke fast in the gazebo in the middle of his maze hedge. the crown prince loved this setting as he felt sheltered from the prying eyes and accusing stares of the world. here he could be safe and almighty in his own world.

as playgirl fed him some grapes with one hand, and smoothed his muscular torso with the other, the baron and his entouraged walked into the opening of the maze and they came into view.

"Ah my baron, i should have known, i could smell your hairyness from afar. i was wondering which servant didnt clear the trash this morning."

"forgive me my lord, i already showered, i couldnt get rid of the smell. i hope your guests wont take notice."

"notice will be taken, but offence wont of course. come my hairy baron and his baroness, join us for breakfast."

as the baron sat on the right of the crown prince, the baroness and playgirl went off to a smaller hut to engage in the intellectual activity of discussing the trials and faults of people.

as breakfast went on, another one of the pillars of the crown prince's power structures, the girlfriend stealer arrived with his lastest steal.

"wow, girlfriend stealer, you have a new steal! congradulations. now you dont have to bring playgirl to your dinners anymore. she can stay home and play with me!"

"come on man, is my reputation so bad?"

"no it isn't! because we are all brothers, right? come sit at my left hand!"

and so sat the girlfriend stealer. and the crown prince saw all the world at his feet. the rock, the hobbit, techno boy, and there was the hairy baron on his right and the girlfriend stealer on his left. now he only need await his foreign guests and the party would begin.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

the sultan pulled long on his pipe, closed his eyes, waited a while, then slowly exhaled. turning to beehoon and yang di pertuan agong, he said:

"the royalty has a party coming up. i see a chance for us to make our mark on society."

taking the pipe, beehoon said

"what do you want to do? it is difficult to penertrate their defences."

thinking deeply, the sultan rubbed his temples hard. his head bowed in deep thought, searching the recesses of his mind for an answer. it seemed like eternity, then he looked up, as he smiled:

"i know. we will call upon the league, and on my old friend, alexander the short great."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

the party heralded the arrival of many guests from all corners of the globe, but the grandest of all was the mongoloid. looking besplendent in his bear fur coat, his clothes hugged his body tightly, the truest show of wealth, the prosperity of his body. life has been good to the mongoloid and his friend, the deep sea diver.

the crown prince was very happy to see the mongoloid again, the last time they saw each other was at their prep school's final dinner, a grand ball, but the crown prince studied there another year, while the mongoloid and the deep sea diver returned to the far east to fight their wars. they won their wars, but til today both were bachelors, though great tacticians and generals on the field, they were poor soldiers in the war of love. or rumours had it they were more interested in each other than in women.

and the shows began, with fine drinks and gourmet food. caviar from the caspian, wine and truffles from france, chocolates from belgium, sausages and beer from germany, ham from parma, and prairie oysters from spain. such opulence is commonplace in the life of the royal, and with blood bluer than the deep blue see, who cold expect anything less?

through it all they were entertained with great music from techno boy, the life of any party.

and such pleasures and joys were their birthrighs, and rightfully so they took it for granted. but little did they know that in a small cave far up north, some delinquent rebellious citizens were plotting to cause their downfall.

episode 1

the crown prince sat in the throne room with his subjects surrounding him. surveying those around him, he pondered about the power of his empire, and the influence he had over his subjects. they were enjoying each other's company in his castle, they loved him and his company, they loved his castle, they loved his rule. they respected him and eagerly anticipated his coronation.

it has been a long day for the crown prince, entertaining his subjects. they were the closest people to him and they were the richest, most respected, the most happening, the coolest, the most beautiful and the most influential in the land. all the minor lords and peasants looked up to them and wished they could be like them. he felt tired and took a sip of water.

looking up to his servant, he asked for a mirror to do a spot check on his hair. staring into the mirror, he marvelled at how cool he looked, with his super spiked up hair. could anyone be more beautiful. sure, some thought he was a poser and act cool, but seriously, a crown prince to the throne must look good. like me, he told himself. he asked for some wax and touched up his hair. splendid, he remarked, and thanked his servant for his help.

the crown prince loved looking good. and he loved looking better. he knew he couldnt do anything to his face (what on earth is plastic surgery?) but what he lacked in the face department, he could cover up with his hair. he had an outrageous hairstyle. he waxed his full locks into a super spiked hairstyle, and he was famous in the land. the older lords commented on how childish the hairstyle was and told him a king in the making could not have such hair, but he filled his court with like minded nobles, who had great taste in fashion, great love for pleasure, and great pride in themselves. moreover, he was a great sportsman, and he felt the hairstyle made him look fearsome in combat. and he looked cool anyway. the coolest hairstyle in the land.

the crown prince was throwing a party, helped out by one of his favourite subjects, techno boy. techno boy was a expert in the field of party holding, having experienced holding parties in many different embassies before. the crown prince and techno boy were teamates on the field too. two other teamates, the hobbit and the rock would help out. this party was to be a great one, for all his subjects to enjoy themselves. it would last a week. the crown prince felt that work, and studying (he was young, and royalty must be knowlegeable) was to be put off as much as possible. life was about pleasure, sport, and well... ..looking good. he was all 3, wasnt he.

this party was to be big. he was going to have a visitor, an old friend, the mongoloid and his friend. visitors from afar always excited the crown prince, as he had a chance to show the outside world how cool he was. so he went all out for this event.

the crown prince was bethrothed to his princess, playgirl for a while. playgirl was one of the hottest properties around, and crown prince felt very happy he finally got together with playgirl. he loved playgirl more than anything in the world, and moreover, she was such a hottie who gave him pleasure everywhere, including in public, in places like the library, where they study, and the dining hall, where they hang out sometimes when they're free.

now playgirl went up to crown prince and whispered something in his ear. he raised his glass and spoke.

"lords and ladies, the night is not young. we should get rest while we can, before the party starts. a toast to all of you, goodnight!"

after finishing his drink he retired to his quarters with playgirl.

the picture of dorian gray

i just finished reading the picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde, and together with 3 others books (the beach, lord of the flies, clubland) it scares me. all 4 books touch on the ease of which humans degrade into immoral, then amoral people, and into murderers. and all start of as perfect, ideal, utopian communities in which people just want to have fun.

i am reminded that it is very easy for me and all my friends to fall into a trap, a trap of self worship, self idolation, hedonism and immorality. i see all around me people who i feel are immoral, who rate themselves too far up and others too far down. and i see clearly as the third party. but how about me? and those closest to me? i believe i know myself very well. i may know myself very well on the first layer, but how bout the second? and the third? self deceit is the most powerful form of deceit, because u hardly doubt the originator. so am i really better than those i look upon with scorn?

and with all my indulgences and hedonistic and materialistic pleasures, am i falling into this kind of trap? trying to be a gentleman in victorian polite society in today's terms? to be cultured to appreciate quality, luxury and class? all three come with a price, in monetary or oral terms. to live the good life doesn't come cheap. or to be a socialite? with influences in shadier dealings like parties? am i trying consciously or subconsciously to be the dorian grays and michael aligs of today? to keep out-doing myself like alig, and to enjoy pleasures like gray?

in this society filled with infinite number of temptations, will i, and my friends be able to withstand them, or will we decay together with society? there is just a thin line between fantasy and reality, between a feeling to kill, and premeditated murder. the thin red line. the position on the right side of it has never seemed so fragile. the gravity of evil, immorality, carnal pleasures and arrogance has always been strong, and today it revealled the strength of it to me, through this literature.

and many talk of the powerful influence of movies, theatre, music and friends, but nothing is more powerful than the power of literature. it has suggestion and mystery, leaving space for both the writer's imagination and slant and the reader's interpretation of what reality the literature describes. and literature has influenced me in a very great way, i may be living in puzo's world, the world he created for romantics like me, where i believe in a dream with my friends, la costra nostra, our world, and i will stop at nothing to get it.

and then there is just so much out there calling to young impressionable people to join in, gambling, drinking, smoking, sex, living the good material life, and socialising, being socially skillful, manouvring in and out of situations, between people, close to people, planting knives behind backs and thus being popular, the in crowd. that is so pathetic. it is so easy to succumb to the above and anyone can ruin your life without you trying too hard.

and with small steps come bigger ones. i cant answer many moral questions like will i harbour a murderer? will i condone it, or influence it, or even commission it? maybe that's thinking too far. but there is a rot in society, and many people are condoning it. the singapore government says it does hire gay, is that not condoning homosexuality? the power of the pink dollar has proven to us that the monetary worth and power of immorality and criminal is always more, because it is either more attractive or it is limited, thus a black market emerges.

so as i was reading the picture of dorian gray i was looking at gray's potrait, wondering if i saw myself there. the pursuit of pleasure, not happiness. wishing the potrait would bear all external signs of aging to retain youthful good looks and his facade forever. i didnt see myself in there, or anyone i knew, but i saw a warning, that things may not remain as we do.

suprises, guard duties and keys.

my brother came back on 180904, at night. after booking out i just stayed at home and then went to thomson plaza to buy some stuff for camp, then went with my family to pick him up. along the way azad called and told us he was coming, and this was to lead to some unpleasantness later on. my dad was unhappy that we had to wait. they expected gabriel to go out with them but they never ever plan for it. they leave it as a contingency and expect him to take it. but we had plans, with hoon. so father was pissed he went there to help his son bring home a bag, and had to wait for azad. gab was pissed too because azad keeps suprising him and he felt it got in the way of plans.

anyway we went to newton and gab ate alot of stingray. we ate like jcc cadets and made a mauritian friend who was here on business. and then we went home and he gave me a present. i didnt expect it from a bankrupt but it was not cheap and was perfect for me! (a orange EA polo tee!) and i tried his chocolate coated roasted coffee beans that phua chu kang bought. it was as good as starbucks iced cafe mocha.

the next day we went out for pool and walk around a bit before going home, and out for dinner with the family before i booked in. always nice to stone in town with him. feels like nothing can stop us, as all youths believe. and weian pls hurry and come back, im missing you.

i spent the next week smsing owen planning his suprise party which wasnt such a suprise after all. and i thought it was a plan worthy of machievelli (how do u spell his name)

i booked out on friday, and we slept early for soccer the next day. yuwei picked us for breakfast, and my hunt for eggs in amk failed so we settled for mee pok before soccer. soccer was ok but not enough ppl so we had to play with sec4 guys. saw krishnan but he dissapeared!! must see him soon! :(. haha im acting cute yucks

lunch was at far east with dave n matt as well. matt left and we met hon and aik for movie. met mun at lido and asked him along for the suprise. watch new police story (great man) then sent gab n yuwei to play pool while we bought him his present: robot prada keychain. i havent got him a present yet though. damn.

upon reaching home i sent him up too obviously and he went to bathe so i told the rest hiding in the kitchen to go up to the study. he looked suprised when he came out though he said there were so many clues. but he was suprised that one friend came back from overseas.

so i hope u had a fun birthday, and if i have a hand in it next yr's will be better! i'll try! that's the last i saw of him since i had to book in for guard duty! on sunday morning! shit.

there was ex vhf2 that week where prep was a killer and we slept at 2 for 4 nights in a row. i was cpc so had to coordinate the ex. it turned out well, i enjoyed my can soup and we caught up on sleep during the ex. haha. got gold for trial test. booked out on friday night, watched resident evil (silly show) and booked in sat morning for guard again, out on sun morning.

in on sunday night, and the week was relatively smooth. did not too bad for line/radio theory test, and radio theory test. got gold for ippt ($200) with 9:11 timing. not a big deal but my best ever. i improved 33 sec in a week. so im happy! coc on wed so no longer cpc hahaha. man mode.

booked out earlier on at 7 to watch alicia keys with xue. she was so dynamic, and her good songs were so.... good. man. haha and she looked quite cool man. really worth the money man. then went to post bar for post concert drink. had a black velvet and now my head's spinning around, i seem to have lost the ability to drink dammit.

poly phase 2 will start later today, so i hope i enjoy myself alot during this period, because after taht the exercises will kill. i need to sleep soon.

sampoerna

i think that's how its spelled. i think its one of the best tasting things on earth. ok not on earth but one of the joys. but only the international version. i wonder why the singaporean ones suck so much. im never going to buy sporean cigs again. so ex. my airport sams cost me 1.9 only man, and im sticking by them. the best thing indonesia gave to the world. i really love the full taste of the clove cigs. heh.

hey ya

hey ya! you! if you're reading this now, hope you're not too sad. though i wonder how you'll do it without your com. everyone has his luck, and im sorry that you've had tough luck being burgled. even though alot is gone, it can be bought back! it's only money man. cheer up dude! smile. laugh. dont worry, be happy. things can be bought back. you're still alive man! there are so many other people who are unluckier than you! and you still look real good, shoot real hard and get real hard... er oops, haha! so dont frown, think happy thoughts, and i'll cya soon? hope u find the bugger and screw him real hard though, haha.

death thoughts

i've always wondered what will happen when i died. not being morbid or anything, but i just want to know what people will say about me. and especially during premature deaths, people will have even better things to say about you, because of your unfulfilled potential. can you picture this scene, at my funeral, what will people be saying of me? will they be sad enough to cry? or will they know that i hate to see my friends crying? and what will they remember of me? and in what way will i have influenced their lives?

i realise that at 2 occassions in your life you are most important: your birthday, and your funeral. but you only get to experience one, the less significant one. on your birthdays its like this happens every year, so people may get bored, or they might be unhappy with you for that period of time. but death buries all grudges, especially among friends. death can reconcile friendships, even though it is too late. it is at a death bed where you realise the importance of someone, only after he is gone. like man u n rio, but that's seriously a lousy analogy.

i am really interested to what people i know think of me, though i have a pretty good idea of that. but it is interesting to hear what they will say about you when you're gone, because when you're dead no one will lie about you or hide their feeling about you. you are over. it is alright to comment freely on something that doesnt exist anymore. like after a government falls then people will say what they feel, and analysts and critics can publish book after book with detailed studies, fearing no backlash.

and i wonder what the atmosphere will be like at my funeral. people going there for the sake of going, or to see me for the last time. and what will they be talking about? news, current affairs, gossip or idle chatter? or will they talk about me?

i feel that your funeral sums up your life. whoever you've impacted, whatever you've done, is reflected at that one final moment you have left connecting you to this fallen world, before you rise to meet the Creator. and that moment will let everyone know how you've lived your life. it is to me a report card, that can tell you whether you've passed, or failed. and i hope that when that day comes, i've passed the test of life.

top 12 list

these are the simple pleasures in life that i cannot get enough of (not ranked in any order):
1. half boiled eggs
2. minced meat beehoon, and i add cockles to this
3. teh o, kopi
4. ice cafe mocha venti, yes ice cubes not blended, and could i have some whipped cream please
5. seeing some ppl who are always not around (like the 2 in aust, the diver, the one who has my 7650)
6. seeing other ppl who are always around (haha no la sometimes la): the malaysian, "see you at the gate", ah phua
7. watching chelsea win
8. eating porridge
9. hot bath
10. sleeping in my bed
11. chelsea buying another world class star
12. watching arsenal lose, or fight within the ranks, haha
when i come out with another list i'll tell you.

no time

i have no time to blog, which is why i havent done so in weeks! due to my bro coming back, and 2 guard duties, i can only blog today. and i have to book in in an hours time. shit man. so hoon, stop complaining! im already doing my best