missing life in green
its been more than 8 months since i've returned my camp pass and car park label to CCO and since then the only camouflage i've worn is a tshirt from taiwan. but memories of my life in green (and brown and black) keep coming back. its like it was just yesterday that i was in army. and it seems like some time soon i'll wake up in the morning at 730 when i set the alarm at 0700, shower, grab a bite, drive to work at 0750 (early) or maybe 0800. reach work at 0830 (work starts at 0800). have breakfast with bosses and colleagues at 0900 (got scolded once by boss for suggesting breakfast at 0830: so early ah!). lunch out of camp from 1230-1330 at many places. sometimes coffee/chicken wing break at 1630 before leaving camp at 1830 to go home. (there's no other way i can quote time now, am/pm makes no sense to me)
and i really loved the life there. when i was working with my peers and superiors, you could feel team work, comaraderie and espirt de corps. not the shit they try to psycho into your head when you're training, but the kind that makes you want to do things for your mates and bosses, the kind that makes you wanna spend time with them, even in camp.
i don't know how much i can disclose about my experiences and our bad practices and sneaky moves. those are the most interesting and you'll have heard me tell some of them. but i'll keep everything here clean and politically correct, and its enough as even when we were doing the right things (99.999% of the time) we were have alot of fun and there were so many fond and good memories.
maybe i should start at the end. im not sure if i can call it the most fitting end to a NSF life, cos maybe i didnt get any award or the highest performance rating from my boss. on my last day we were conducting an ICT. in the morning my boss asked if i drank wine at home. i asked him why and he said no la nothing just asking. after lunch he actually bought something quite expensive for me, shared with my understudy and new OC. some metal wine kit in a wooden box. that day was tragically hectic and quite fucked up, as i did my clearance in one day on my last day. some people signing were very good friends, some i met once or twice and they wished me best of luck. some were acting like assholes (i hate army scholars, ok not all but most). all because my fucking clerk sat on this for a month, then reported sick so he didn't need to do this on my last day. after telling me he'll help me settle this nicely as a favour. (its your duty, not favour; and he did that because he was in mlm and wanted to sell me something i think).
i digress. anyway i conducted ippt also and was very late for dinner with my family. but as i sat in my office and typed my farewell letters to friends, colleagues and chinablue football club, i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. that i wont be seeing these guys week in week out. wont be going overseas with them anymore, conducting training with them, going for r&r with them and playing soccer every sunday. i sat there for a while. while i was typing my boss left camp and as he said bye i think he could sense my sadness and he said you are ok ah or something like that. to say i could have cried was a understatement to describe my sense of loss.
well all stories have a start and a ending. this story started with a drunk soon to be recruit being shipped to tekong. the first day was quite bad as the sun was so hot and we had to lug our heavy stuff around the camp. BMT was not too bad. i made good friends with the specs and i actually saw my PC overseas in one of my trainings close to ORD and had a chat with him. there were alot of people i already knew in my platoon like mun, jiun haur and guochuan. then there were others i made quite good friends with like matthew goh and issac ho who even though i dont talk to that much now, i really enjoyed the times we had together in camp. and i had quite a nice buddy jefferson who signed on. havent heard from him in a long time. so BMT was basically getting fucked and learning how to work together.
then to OCS. i really wanted to quit. there is no time for anything. there is no room to do any other thing. but luckily there were people like cheek, chieh and dehan who i knew. then i made some damn good friends like dalan, ah phua, edwin, kent. there were 6 of us who went to bangkok together before i went to pro term. in the end when i got used to life there it was really fun. all we discussed were hotel charlies. and when we stood for stand by before booking out galvin and me would discuss the time we meet at zouk. and chieh would always say bu xing. after drinking at zouk for a few hours we would be starving and go newton to eat. i remember once galvin and me went mad (think after field camp) and ordered like $50 of food. stingray, kangkong, mussels, rice, carrot cake, oyster omellette, hokkein mee and satay. there were 4 of us and only 2 madmen eating and eating. of course we couldn't finish all that, but we went down fighting. and we used to drink bottle beers bought from nala's uncle.
then i chose to specialised as a signal officer (people who call us signallers can go fry their unused noddles). i thought a signal officer didn't need to walk and wear camou, how wrong i was going to be. but the training was definately challenging and helped built character. and i had alot of fun and friends there. we studied for 2 wks at a poly as part of our course. one night we went clubbing and i drank a hell lot. woke up in the morning and ate a huge breakfast, and then halfway through one of the classes, i walked out and..... bleaugh.... however the sound of vomitting is spelt. overseas training was tough as there are no weekends, just exercise after exercise after exercise. but after many exercises and phases i finally completed training for about 1 year.
you would think after doing all these things that you are prepared to work as an officer. after 7 day field camps, walking 72 km without proper sleep in 1.5 days carrying average of 35-40kg, going through parade practice (killer seriously). but no. there are so many other things to be learnt.
i like to tell the story of how i got my posting. i think the defining moment was in taiwan where i trained for 2 weeks plus and haven't smoked. i was dying and seeing all the drivers and specs and officers smoking i told my friend i need a smoke. he told me ask my OC or WO i didn't dare. that fucker xiaojian went to ask and when my WO asked who wanted it he said daniel. my WO gave me a dirty look and signalled to follow him. so the 2 of us went out to smoke. 2 minutes later the entire training troops, led by xiaojian and my OC, came out. how fucked was i. haha but i wasnt fucked at all. my OC also offered me cigarettes. and the reason why i got my posting, the only posting back under the same OC, was because i smoked and could drink at least abit (abit by their montrous standards), or so they say.
so posting under my OC, my dream posting. i hated unit life, i didn't want to do ops, i was a lazy fucker. but turns out i could not have learnt more, made more friends, or lived life more under any other posting.
i learnt so much from my team and superiors, like how to talk in their language (KPI, professionalism, end product, processes), focusing on the important things, what problems could be solved by system D(the art of getting things done) and what couldn't. i did minutes, lesson plans, exercise files, ppt presentations, workplans, reports, the list is countless.
there are so many stories i could tell that would illustrate the kinds of people i worked around and loved, but that could fill a book. these are just a few.
once the NS men were having ICT. at around 1630 their alcohol-less happy hour started. my encik started bring out beer for us. by the time i went home at 2030 i had drunk more then 10 beers or stout (alot for my low standards) on an empty stomach. by the 6th beer my car keys were on the table alr. i told my boss sir i cannot drive home. in the end, he drove me home, drove my car home, and picked me up the next day. the moment we reached camp we conducted ippt together.
another time this rather high ranking civilian called my office finding my boss. i told him he wasnt there and i got fucked upside down for something that happened between a few departments. i called my boss and told him sir Mr XXX just fucked me. his reply was straightforward: he fuck you? i haven't fuck him yet ah!
and when i had a problem i could ask people, officers or warrant officers, and they woud reassure me and help me see things in perspective.
as alex ferguson tries to convince man utd players that its them against the world, for us it really was us against the world. we tried to do our job, and everyone would try to make us fail, albeit unintentionally. the customers would demand the impossible to do. our suppliers would offer the impossible to work with. we had to plead, reason, and in most cases complain or seek higher authority just to be able to do our job.
the paper work i had to do was a bore and a chore, but necessary to coordinate and record what was going down. the exciting parts were the training, the outfield. i was always craving for outfield not for the prep work (which was killer) but the experience. driving around the training areas in the west, eating zhi char in training sheds, smoking and drinking iced canned and packet drinks at 2100 or 2200 at night, it was really an experience. and coming back from outfield at 2300, we ordered mcdonalds, ate in the office and then rushed to book out before midnight.
at first i dreaded brunei. 4 days in a hot jungle, if it rains you're wet. climbing mountains, crossing rivers, not fun work. but after i volunteered to bring the cadets up for the last time i would be able to go brunei, i really regretted not going for the first 2. outfield in a jungle for 4 days, guiding trainees is a very rewarding experience. i was responsible for the lives of 20 men. one of my guys collasped near the top of the mountain. even if we called for the chopper we would have to carry him to the top and cut trees. he could not focus his vision. his body was very hot and he could not speak properly. i had to force him to drink water and pocari sweat though he kept vomiting and use ice packs to bring down his body temperature. its this kind of experience that makes me look at things like school work and say that's easy. it might not be easy, but it sure is much easier to overcome than this. and nothing, absolutely nothing can top smoking in a pristine jungle (but keeping your cigarette butt of course). i would give almost anything to go brunei again.
taiwan is a totally different prospect. you get to see the countryside, many towns, try alot of nice food there. taiwan for trainers was like a holiday. look, eat, experience, and yes don't forget to do your job too! im very grateful i managed to go once as a trainee and twice as a trainer. and i bet you have never seen the driver and v com fucking each other while on the road before!
besides spending time in camp i made alot of army friends outside camp, doing something singaporean men love to do, kick a ball. i remember my car was parked at newton waiting for someone i can't remember who when my phone rang. one of my dear enciks called me and invited me to play for a team they were forming in the formation. i wanted to play midfield but he had too many talented midfielders, so i was tried out at defence or striker. i was disastrous in defence so i play striker. haha. i'ver scored around 6 goals in ten plus games, i figure that's not bad a return. and there were many memorable goals haha. everytime i have holidays and go back to play they will have space for me.
many images and memories will remain with me forever. like once i was driving to work at 0805, and my OC called asking if i was in camp. i said no, he told me once i reached camp to pass him some documents in a meeting. i felt so bad as i was supposed to have printed them out for him for this meeting. or the image of him bbqing food for our company at my place during company retreat. there was once my boss declared half day for us to go the the SITEX at expo centre to look at computers. and when i bought FM2006 he installed it as well and the 2 of us were playing it when we were free. i used to play soccer a few times with my boss over the weekend at hougang as well.
i remember what they used to say all the time as well. OC: eh? hor. yes? his facial expressions that went along with those lines are priceless. Boss: i damn stone i got to camp at 630 this morning (after drinking, the time was 0800). yes daniel? (when i called him, dunno what he was doing)
its these kind of things that my OC and boss did that make me want to do things for them. as galen said: we are all cpt XXX's men through and through.
when i started handing over to alvin i knew my days were numbered. (actually i knew that long ago, in july 2006). can u believe it, a guy with 8 months of NSF life to go, actually knowing it would pass quickly. and i was dreading it. i wanted to be locked in this period forever. i wanted to stay with this people forever. but soon enough you realise these are childish dreams and hopes. people started leaving, like my beloved OC. others were due to post out or ORD as well. time waits for no man. people come and go. accept it and move on.
and there were so many other friends i made, like joshua, my understudy alvin, melvin (last 2 were training under me as cadets) and all the other regulars who i shall not name here. i had a very close relationship with my spec wah chuan as well, who is more of a friend than a workmate (and a arsenal fan! i can't believe it).
i went back to camp during winter break this year. saw so many friends i really missed the place. i also missed talking to the spec mess uncle and auntie.
there are some experiences in life that really affect you. this is one of them that affected me. i learnt alot of skills in army life project management, working in a large organisation, dealing with customers and suppliers, and concepts like quality management, learning organisation, SOPs and processes. i haven't covered those here not because they are unimportant, but their importance and impact pales in comparison to the human aspect i've seen and felt in the army. not learning people skills, but seeing what it's like to be a person, and to care for your fellow man, regardless or background and rank.
in green, we are all equal. we work for the common good. we stand up for each other, carry more sometimes, and at other times share your load with others. whether in a battlefield or in the office, there is no i in team. there is no better good than doing good for others, even when it incurs a sacrifice on your part.
as an end note, i want to mention that of the many people i've met in my life who have mentored and influenced me, i want to thank my boss and OC, who have made a larger impact in my life than they can ever imagine. and to all the friends i made in army: thank you all. this journey was incredible and unbelievable, but all good things must come to an end. i was just glad i could be part of yours.
and i really loved the life there. when i was working with my peers and superiors, you could feel team work, comaraderie and espirt de corps. not the shit they try to psycho into your head when you're training, but the kind that makes you want to do things for your mates and bosses, the kind that makes you wanna spend time with them, even in camp.
i don't know how much i can disclose about my experiences and our bad practices and sneaky moves. those are the most interesting and you'll have heard me tell some of them. but i'll keep everything here clean and politically correct, and its enough as even when we were doing the right things (99.999% of the time) we were have alot of fun and there were so many fond and good memories.
maybe i should start at the end. im not sure if i can call it the most fitting end to a NSF life, cos maybe i didnt get any award or the highest performance rating from my boss. on my last day we were conducting an ICT. in the morning my boss asked if i drank wine at home. i asked him why and he said no la nothing just asking. after lunch he actually bought something quite expensive for me, shared with my understudy and new OC. some metal wine kit in a wooden box. that day was tragically hectic and quite fucked up, as i did my clearance in one day on my last day. some people signing were very good friends, some i met once or twice and they wished me best of luck. some were acting like assholes (i hate army scholars, ok not all but most). all because my fucking clerk sat on this for a month, then reported sick so he didn't need to do this on my last day. after telling me he'll help me settle this nicely as a favour. (its your duty, not favour; and he did that because he was in mlm and wanted to sell me something i think).
i digress. anyway i conducted ippt also and was very late for dinner with my family. but as i sat in my office and typed my farewell letters to friends, colleagues and chinablue football club, i felt a wave of sadness wash over me. that i wont be seeing these guys week in week out. wont be going overseas with them anymore, conducting training with them, going for r&r with them and playing soccer every sunday. i sat there for a while. while i was typing my boss left camp and as he said bye i think he could sense my sadness and he said you are ok ah or something like that. to say i could have cried was a understatement to describe my sense of loss.
well all stories have a start and a ending. this story started with a drunk soon to be recruit being shipped to tekong. the first day was quite bad as the sun was so hot and we had to lug our heavy stuff around the camp. BMT was not too bad. i made good friends with the specs and i actually saw my PC overseas in one of my trainings close to ORD and had a chat with him. there were alot of people i already knew in my platoon like mun, jiun haur and guochuan. then there were others i made quite good friends with like matthew goh and issac ho who even though i dont talk to that much now, i really enjoyed the times we had together in camp. and i had quite a nice buddy jefferson who signed on. havent heard from him in a long time. so BMT was basically getting fucked and learning how to work together.
then to OCS. i really wanted to quit. there is no time for anything. there is no room to do any other thing. but luckily there were people like cheek, chieh and dehan who i knew. then i made some damn good friends like dalan, ah phua, edwin, kent. there were 6 of us who went to bangkok together before i went to pro term. in the end when i got used to life there it was really fun. all we discussed were hotel charlies. and when we stood for stand by before booking out galvin and me would discuss the time we meet at zouk. and chieh would always say bu xing. after drinking at zouk for a few hours we would be starving and go newton to eat. i remember once galvin and me went mad (think after field camp) and ordered like $50 of food. stingray, kangkong, mussels, rice, carrot cake, oyster omellette, hokkein mee and satay. there were 4 of us and only 2 madmen eating and eating. of course we couldn't finish all that, but we went down fighting. and we used to drink bottle beers bought from nala's uncle.
then i chose to specialised as a signal officer (people who call us signallers can go fry their unused noddles). i thought a signal officer didn't need to walk and wear camou, how wrong i was going to be. but the training was definately challenging and helped built character. and i had alot of fun and friends there. we studied for 2 wks at a poly as part of our course. one night we went clubbing and i drank a hell lot. woke up in the morning and ate a huge breakfast, and then halfway through one of the classes, i walked out and..... bleaugh.... however the sound of vomitting is spelt. overseas training was tough as there are no weekends, just exercise after exercise after exercise. but after many exercises and phases i finally completed training for about 1 year.
you would think after doing all these things that you are prepared to work as an officer. after 7 day field camps, walking 72 km without proper sleep in 1.5 days carrying average of 35-40kg, going through parade practice (killer seriously). but no. there are so many other things to be learnt.
i like to tell the story of how i got my posting. i think the defining moment was in taiwan where i trained for 2 weeks plus and haven't smoked. i was dying and seeing all the drivers and specs and officers smoking i told my friend i need a smoke. he told me ask my OC or WO i didn't dare. that fucker xiaojian went to ask and when my WO asked who wanted it he said daniel. my WO gave me a dirty look and signalled to follow him. so the 2 of us went out to smoke. 2 minutes later the entire training troops, led by xiaojian and my OC, came out. how fucked was i. haha but i wasnt fucked at all. my OC also offered me cigarettes. and the reason why i got my posting, the only posting back under the same OC, was because i smoked and could drink at least abit (abit by their montrous standards), or so they say.
so posting under my OC, my dream posting. i hated unit life, i didn't want to do ops, i was a lazy fucker. but turns out i could not have learnt more, made more friends, or lived life more under any other posting.
i learnt so much from my team and superiors, like how to talk in their language (KPI, professionalism, end product, processes), focusing on the important things, what problems could be solved by system D(the art of getting things done) and what couldn't. i did minutes, lesson plans, exercise files, ppt presentations, workplans, reports, the list is countless.
there are so many stories i could tell that would illustrate the kinds of people i worked around and loved, but that could fill a book. these are just a few.
once the NS men were having ICT. at around 1630 their alcohol-less happy hour started. my encik started bring out beer for us. by the time i went home at 2030 i had drunk more then 10 beers or stout (alot for my low standards) on an empty stomach. by the 6th beer my car keys were on the table alr. i told my boss sir i cannot drive home. in the end, he drove me home, drove my car home, and picked me up the next day. the moment we reached camp we conducted ippt together.
another time this rather high ranking civilian called my office finding my boss. i told him he wasnt there and i got fucked upside down for something that happened between a few departments. i called my boss and told him sir Mr XXX just fucked me. his reply was straightforward: he fuck you? i haven't fuck him yet ah!
and when i had a problem i could ask people, officers or warrant officers, and they woud reassure me and help me see things in perspective.
as alex ferguson tries to convince man utd players that its them against the world, for us it really was us against the world. we tried to do our job, and everyone would try to make us fail, albeit unintentionally. the customers would demand the impossible to do. our suppliers would offer the impossible to work with. we had to plead, reason, and in most cases complain or seek higher authority just to be able to do our job.
the paper work i had to do was a bore and a chore, but necessary to coordinate and record what was going down. the exciting parts were the training, the outfield. i was always craving for outfield not for the prep work (which was killer) but the experience. driving around the training areas in the west, eating zhi char in training sheds, smoking and drinking iced canned and packet drinks at 2100 or 2200 at night, it was really an experience. and coming back from outfield at 2300, we ordered mcdonalds, ate in the office and then rushed to book out before midnight.
at first i dreaded brunei. 4 days in a hot jungle, if it rains you're wet. climbing mountains, crossing rivers, not fun work. but after i volunteered to bring the cadets up for the last time i would be able to go brunei, i really regretted not going for the first 2. outfield in a jungle for 4 days, guiding trainees is a very rewarding experience. i was responsible for the lives of 20 men. one of my guys collasped near the top of the mountain. even if we called for the chopper we would have to carry him to the top and cut trees. he could not focus his vision. his body was very hot and he could not speak properly. i had to force him to drink water and pocari sweat though he kept vomiting and use ice packs to bring down his body temperature. its this kind of experience that makes me look at things like school work and say that's easy. it might not be easy, but it sure is much easier to overcome than this. and nothing, absolutely nothing can top smoking in a pristine jungle (but keeping your cigarette butt of course). i would give almost anything to go brunei again.
taiwan is a totally different prospect. you get to see the countryside, many towns, try alot of nice food there. taiwan for trainers was like a holiday. look, eat, experience, and yes don't forget to do your job too! im very grateful i managed to go once as a trainee and twice as a trainer. and i bet you have never seen the driver and v com fucking each other while on the road before!
besides spending time in camp i made alot of army friends outside camp, doing something singaporean men love to do, kick a ball. i remember my car was parked at newton waiting for someone i can't remember who when my phone rang. one of my dear enciks called me and invited me to play for a team they were forming in the formation. i wanted to play midfield but he had too many talented midfielders, so i was tried out at defence or striker. i was disastrous in defence so i play striker. haha. i'ver scored around 6 goals in ten plus games, i figure that's not bad a return. and there were many memorable goals haha. everytime i have holidays and go back to play they will have space for me.
many images and memories will remain with me forever. like once i was driving to work at 0805, and my OC called asking if i was in camp. i said no, he told me once i reached camp to pass him some documents in a meeting. i felt so bad as i was supposed to have printed them out for him for this meeting. or the image of him bbqing food for our company at my place during company retreat. there was once my boss declared half day for us to go the the SITEX at expo centre to look at computers. and when i bought FM2006 he installed it as well and the 2 of us were playing it when we were free. i used to play soccer a few times with my boss over the weekend at hougang as well.
i remember what they used to say all the time as well. OC: eh? hor. yes? his facial expressions that went along with those lines are priceless. Boss: i damn stone i got to camp at 630 this morning (after drinking, the time was 0800). yes daniel? (when i called him, dunno what he was doing)
its these kind of things that my OC and boss did that make me want to do things for them. as galen said: we are all cpt XXX's men through and through.
when i started handing over to alvin i knew my days were numbered. (actually i knew that long ago, in july 2006). can u believe it, a guy with 8 months of NSF life to go, actually knowing it would pass quickly. and i was dreading it. i wanted to be locked in this period forever. i wanted to stay with this people forever. but soon enough you realise these are childish dreams and hopes. people started leaving, like my beloved OC. others were due to post out or ORD as well. time waits for no man. people come and go. accept it and move on.
and there were so many other friends i made, like joshua, my understudy alvin, melvin (last 2 were training under me as cadets) and all the other regulars who i shall not name here. i had a very close relationship with my spec wah chuan as well, who is more of a friend than a workmate (and a arsenal fan! i can't believe it).
i went back to camp during winter break this year. saw so many friends i really missed the place. i also missed talking to the spec mess uncle and auntie.
there are some experiences in life that really affect you. this is one of them that affected me. i learnt alot of skills in army life project management, working in a large organisation, dealing with customers and suppliers, and concepts like quality management, learning organisation, SOPs and processes. i haven't covered those here not because they are unimportant, but their importance and impact pales in comparison to the human aspect i've seen and felt in the army. not learning people skills, but seeing what it's like to be a person, and to care for your fellow man, regardless or background and rank.
in green, we are all equal. we work for the common good. we stand up for each other, carry more sometimes, and at other times share your load with others. whether in a battlefield or in the office, there is no i in team. there is no better good than doing good for others, even when it incurs a sacrifice on your part.
as an end note, i want to mention that of the many people i've met in my life who have mentored and influenced me, i want to thank my boss and OC, who have made a larger impact in my life than they can ever imagine. and to all the friends i made in army: thank you all. this journey was incredible and unbelievable, but all good things must come to an end. i was just glad i could be part of yours.
posted by daniel at 11:33
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